Hi all....new guy here...panicking and worried...advice please

[Aaron_southcoast]

Hi all,

Im new to this and this is my first post so bear with me.

To cut a long story short I suffered with an addiction to painkillers since 2009 and am now in the last stages of a subsitute programme, hopefully another couple of weeks and I shall be off that.

About 12 weeks ago or so I suffered a massive panic attack at home whilst looking after my newborn baby girl. It shook me alot and took a few days to get over it but then I had a couple more at work this time, one caused me to literally run from the building and ive been signed off since.

Ive seen my GP's VERY regularly, initially prescribed atenolol but that made me lightheaded and lowered by pulse so that was stopped. Ive tried to stay away from medication but last Thursday I suffered a blip and had a massive panic attack which didnt ease with 5mg Diazepam so I eventually ended up at the out of hours doctor at my local hospital who said go home and take another.

I saw my GP the day after and prescribed propranalol 40mg three times per day and 20mg citalopram. However im abit scared as just over the weekend I began to have extremely disturbing thoughts particularly about harming/killing my baby girl. The thought then causes massive anxiety. Im so concerned im going mad or ill that I went to my GP (again) this morning who said these thoughts are just caused by my anxiety.

I feel awful and would just like some reassurance those thoughts are just caused by my anxiety and will go away. Its as if im developing OCD, getting the thought then getting the anxiety. Can anyone else relate to this feeling?

One more thing, the propranalol 40mg 3 times per day does work a little in calming me down but the thoughts are still there, shall I start the citalopram tomorrow morning also? The GP today gave me another prescription for a "timed" release 80mg propranalol - is this better or does 40mg 3 times a day sound better?

Sorry for the longpost.

Thanks to all,

Aaron x

[nomorepanic]

Hi Aaron_southcoast

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[paulst]

Hi Aaron, welcome to the forum, Ive found very good support here and hope you do too:)

[caroline-j]

Hi Aaron Sorry to hear your having a bad time with anxiety. I can relate with regards to the thoughts you have about harming someone. Do you get any physical symptoms through having these thoughts? I do and they are very distressing. The annoying thing is that I know that I would not act on my thoughts. Its something I cant seem to control. Hope things get easier for you. Take care xx

[fozzy is crying]

:welcome:
:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:

[Aaron_southcoast]

Hi everyone, thanks for your replies so far.

Yes Caroline, its a vicious circle - I get the thoughts then I feel anxious, other times I feel anxious and that sets things off. Physical symptoms are floatyness, headyness/dizzyness, sweats etc.

Ive just started the citalopram, literally about 15minutes ago. Hope it wont affect me too much on the first day as ive a few important meetings today.

Fingers crosssed.

Aaron

[ricardo]

Welcome Aaron.
I am sure you will get some advice on here.

How long did your panic attacks last for ?

20mg citalopram is an SSRI anti depressant and like all SSRI drugs they usually take at least 6 weeks to kick in.

propranalol 40mg 3 times per day is quite a heavy dose to initially start with and it should have reduced your blood pressure and if your pulse rate had dropped that would say to me that it is helping your anxiety.

My advice is go back to your doctor to see if he can suggest a better balance of treatment.All the very best.

[Hope73]

Hey Aaron,


I too had the intrusive thoughts regarding my daughter when she was around 1 or 2 and it was the worst time of my life!! Absolute sheer hell...

I didn't have access to the internet at the time (We are talking like 10 years ago) so I couldn't or didn't research these thoughts. I got to the point where I was terrified to be left with her case I did something and would daily phone my hubby in tears making him rush home.

I was too scared to tell anyone ie Dr ect cos I was convinced they would either take her away or I would be sectioned and never see her again...Far fetched I know but I was young and had no dealings with mental health issues up until now.

So this went on I would say a good year or two and finally wore off the older she got... I came to learn of it to be OCD with time and eventually took medication...

But you know Aaron they are just thoughts and if you can come to accept that and let them come and get as bad as they want! BUT don't be scared or try fighting them away and they will lose their power over you... It's about accepting them :)

Good luck.

[Aaron_southcoast]

Well, I started the citralopram this morning and within 2 hours I was violently sick and have been ill all day. I know its only day 1 but I dont think I will continue taking it tomorrow. In fact I feel worse now than before I took it, is that normal? I understand this kind of medication takes up to 6 weeks to kick in properly but im starting to think that perhaps CBT is a better option? Im lucky that my work may pay for the CBT therapy.

What would everyone else suggest?

[Redstaffie]

Hi
Have just read your post. Am also new on here. The symptoms of intrusive thoughts i can relate to ,as for me was a side effect of prozac. I came off it and was switched to Citalopram and they eased dramaticly. Could have been made worse by the meds you were taking? (just a thought). Also Propranolol are also a beta blocker so they can drop your blood pressure considerably. I was given these 40mg to take as a emergency during the horrific anxiety i had taking prozac as initially G.P couldnt decide if it was side effects or not. I found they made me faint due to lowering of blood pressure... Hope this makes sense...

[Aaron_southcoast]

Hey Red,

Well before I started the citralopram this morning I found the propranalol to be quite useful. I only had one serious panic attack and was beginning to learn to cope with the remaining anxiety.

BUT I feel sick as a dog right now and only took the citalopram this morning so being sick like I have been all day I assume is a result of taking that.

[ricardo]

Prozac is getting a lot of thumbs down.
In my case whenever I get prescibed a new drug, I do the fatal thing and that is to look up all the side effects, and that in itself makes me more anxious.

I may be wrong but people with an alcohol problem can often get good guidance from ex alcoholics.

That is not the case generally with mental health problems as the pyschiatrist or whoever has studied how to treat people but has never actually gone through the torment that we do.

[Harley]

Hi Aaron, I have just sent you a pm.

[caroline-j]

hi Aaron. Soz to hear that you have had a bad reaction to your meds. Maybe you should try another AD. What works well for one doesnt for another. CBT helped me abit. Anything is worth a try. Hope you feel better soon and good luck.xx

[Aaron_southcoast]

Thanks Caroline, the more I read up on things I think i'll start down the route of talking therapy rather than an SSRI especially after being sick all day

x