Need to calm down

[meche]

I haven't had a panic attack for months and months but I can feel my heart getting faster and I feel so sick. Ok - my ears have started ringing now! I have a doctor appt in 2 hours and I'm absolutely crapping myself. Really don't want to go but I know I have to - have a genuine concern! I have visions of passing out when I'm in there. Gotta try and calm down! xx

[Annie0904]

Have just seen this and I guess you are on your way to the doctors now. Hopefiully you will get the reassurance you need today and then will feel much better :hugs:

[meche]

Hi Annie - waiting to go in now. Don't know how I feel. A bit sick & shaky. I don't like dr surgeries at the best of times. Will let you know how it goes. Thanks for your very kind words. You're a star! xx

[lo89]

How did you get on?

[meche]

Hi ladies - well, here goes. I guess I should feel reassured but I still feel a bit anxious if I'm honest. I explained to her that I've had it on/off for 20-odd years, it comes, it goes... blah, blah blah! Firstly she said the fact I've had it so long suggests it's not cancer. She had a good feel and spotted it straight away - a 2cm diameter lump. It's not hard or full of fluid (not a cyst) and it's not attached to anything. It's called Fibrodenomas - also known as a 'breast mouse' because it moves around. All my other breast tissue felt normal. She told me not to be frightened and she isn't concerned about it at all. She is still sending me for a ultrascan because she says they have to treat all lumps as potential cancer but I really shouldn't worry. That's the bit that still makes me feel a bit anxious. So now I have to wait up to 2 weeks for a referral. I do feel better but a bit in limbo! xx

[lo89]

My lump in my back can also be called a "back mouse" - I wonder if it is a similar thing! Does yours feel smooth and quite firm? Like a water balloon? And moves a bit but not much?
I would be reassured by the fact that you are having an ultrasound - cancerous growths also tend to be irregular edged and rock solid, apparently!

[Annie0904]

I am sure the doctor will know what it is and she is correct they do have to refer all lumps but she will know that it is fine. My step daughter had 2 lumps and decided to have them removed but they were non-cancerous. When my son was 6 month old a trainee health visitor told me they thought he had hydrocephalus because his head circumference was off the centile chart. The doctor told me that he knew by his development that he was fine but had to be referred for a brain scan as it was routine if they were off the chart. I had to take him for a brain scan and was really panicky but of course he was fine...just a big head :D (which at the age of 22 is now in proportion). I will be the same with your lump...it will be fine but just routine procedure. If the doctor thought it could be serious, believe me you would not be waiting 2 weeks for a referral. Hope this reassures you. :hugs:

[meche]

That's exactly what she said lo89 - this one is round and smooth with edges! They can grow up to 5cm. It is firm but not hard, as in rock solid! And yes it's moveable but not overly.
I guess I am a bit reassured in the sense I can get a proper diagnosis and never have to worry about it again. I was hoping to walk away from the surgery and never have to worry about it again but now I have to psyche myself up for a scan. I'm more worried about telling my mum & dad. They're on holiday at the moment and don't know. They've been really worried about me this year because of all my ups & downs so I know they'll freak - especially my mum! xx

---------- Post added at 11:33 ---------- Previous post was at 11:31 ----------

Thanks Annie - I really have to learn to put my faith in other people. She obviously knows what she's talking about and is only doing her job. So glad your son grew into his big head :)! xx

[lo89]

Our lumps sound similar - mines feels sort of like half a bouncy ball, same sort of size and texture, and a similar shape. Moves by maybe a few millimetres each way but not very much at all. Mines had grown slightly recently, I was panicking as to me it felt "the size of an orange" my doctor laughed and told me I was being ripped off when buying oranges as it was only a few centimetres!
I was convinced I had a soft tissue sarcoma which was a secondary from skin cancer, my doctor laughed and said that I would probably be very ill as I had the mole on my head for about 12 years, of course I immediately developed lots of cancer symptoms and had myself dead and buried within months!
The mind is a powerful thing and due to all the publicity surrounding cancer just now it is so easy to believe that there is no other possible explanation for lumps, bumps, aches and pains, when in reality the truth is that we never hear about the "normal" causes of these symptoms because they don't actually matter! Would the story of the girl with a lump on her back which turned out to be a lump of fat sell any magazines? No, but the girl with cancer in her back which the doctor diagnosed incorrectly would! What we don't hear is that 99% of the time these things are nothing to worry about.

[meche]

You're absolutely right. I left feeling quite confident but while I was walking back to work I thought about the things I hadn't told her. I didn't tell her I had an ache in my arm or that my left boob felt very sensitive.... or did I? I can't remember - OMG I didn't tell her and she's misdiagnosing me! How stupid is that :doh:. Even stupider is I was up ALL night thinking I would get my hair cut short so that when I had chemo it wouldn't be such a shock and that when I did have my boob removed would I want reconstructive surgery.
What has made me feel a bit better is that I've had a chat with a girl who works in my office who was diagnosed with breast cancer last year aged 31. She had a masectomy and finished chemo earlier this year and now got the all clear. When she first went to her doctor he didn't have a clue and when she had an ultrascan they hadn't seen anything like it - didn't know what it was until they removed the lumps. I'm grateful I haven't been put in that position.
I start jury service next week so that will take my mind off waiting! Hopefully it'll come through soon. xx