Upset, gutted, need some reassurance

[lass]

I've had such a good few days since Saturday, and I'm really gutted that I'm now feeling so bad again. I thought that maybe I was getting to grips with things, getting things into perspective, but the slightess thing has sent me off into a major state of anxiety again.

I had my sigmoidoscopy (for ?IBS) on Friday and they found some inflammation and took some biopsies, which I have to wait 2-3 weeks for results. I was completely stressed out about this at the time, but had a think about it over Friday night and lots of chats with friends and family, and realised this was a good thing, that they are checking me out thoroughly and the inflammation is hopefully something minor but could explain my symptoms.

From Saturday til now I have felt "normal" for the first time this year. I said to my hubby that I feel I am alive again. It's hard to explain but I was actually enjoying myself, happy again, rather than just existing and going through the motions.

Anyway, I've had a bit of tummy pain this morning, nothing unusual tho, and I've been to the toilet a couple of times. The second time I went, I noticed blood on wiping. Only a tiny bit but it has completely freaked me out. I've spent all year analysing my poo for blood, and not seen anything, then just when I think I am getting to grips with things I see some and it's really worried me.

My rational mind is telling me that this could be part of the inflammation thing, or even to do with the biopsies. It was bright red so I know it is new, not old blood, so nothing that has occured high up in the bowel. But I'm just really scared again and I can't stop myself from worrying.

I think I'm more p****d off with myself that this has started the anxiety off again, as I was sooooo happy until now.

Please, send me some reassurance if you can.

I don't know whether to try and get to see GP tomorrow. I was going to go to her this week to discuss the sigmoidoscopy report, but I didn't bother booking an appointment as I wasn't too concerned about it. However I don't want to go along to her in a right old state as she will just try and get me to persist with the antidepressants and I don't want to, I want to learn to deal with my worries not just blank them out. Also haven't found any medication yet that makes me feel better, only worse, and I've not got past 10 days on them without giving up.

Can anyone help please????

[Silly Blonde]

Hi there

I had a really bad painful but routine smear back in April. I spent the rest of the time worrying about the outcome - convinced myself that my tummy ache, back ache etc had something to do with it.

I even worried throughout my honeymoon and the first thing I did when I got home was rifle through the post to find my test results. 12 weeks later it came back normal. So I wasted 3 months of my life worrying over nothing.

Its easier said than done, but put it out of your mind as best you can. If there was any worry, they would have had you in immediately for further tests etc.

I don't know too much about the sigmoid test - but if you imagine that a small pile can cause bleeding, then its not surprising that the test itself could cause a little bleeding too.

You're not alone - we've all been there. We put ourselves though these tests for reassurance, but even when we get the ok, our minds worry about something else/some other part of the body.

Go and see your doc if you need to - nobody can force you to take the pills - but maybe its best to wait until the results are back. As I said above, if there were any doubts or concerns, the docs won't wait for you to make the appointment!

Take care

SB xx

[reddevil]

I get the bright red on wiping.

I mentioned blood on wiping once to a nurse.

She told me, if you are stressed and then go the toilet, the waste will not flush out as normal and will cause little vessels to bleed and that most people through the time get blood on wiping.

[lass]

Thank you, that helps a lot!

[anxious]

Hiya,

this happens to me occasionally too, i think if your a little sore (prehaps from going often) it can happen too.
anx

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects

[jackie]

you have to know that you must not only feel relaxed when the symptoms are gone

true acceptance and freedom comes when times are bad and symptoms are raging

i know only too well how difficult this is as i have never managed it but it truly is the only way

jackie

[strawberrie]

hi, im not a medical person, but as far as i know, bright red blood is not a sign of anything to worry about, im sure it is just a pile or a small cut or irritation.

i noticed you said that this worry started after you had started to feel 'normal'. i always get a symptom when i feel like things are going well. as soon as i think 'i havent had a symptom for a while, perhaps im ok after all' its like a trigger for a new symptom to occur.

ive been told that curing health anxiety does not mean stopping your symptoms from happening, but changing the way you view them. i find this very hard to accept, because i dont want to have any symptoms, i just want somebody to give me a guarantee that im not going to get ill, and of course no one can do this. this probably doesnt help much, but try and accept that you will always get symptoms (just like everyone else), but you need to concentrate on changing the automatic thoughts that the symptoms are a sign of something bad.

i know how hard it is,
mag