JackInTheBox
23-10-12, 03:11
Well, today I had another tough episode...
Like I said on my previous posts, I am fully aware of my anxious condition, specially the health variant.
So now I tend to struggle with sympthoms instead of surrendering to them. My third round of exams (in 2 years) managed to give me a boost in confidence on my health, so I have been fighting a good fight against health anxiety.
Yet today I got a scare, and a big one for good measure!
I was entering the car while my GF was waiting, and as I sat down the heart started to "miss" beats and going at a maniac speed. I started to feel breathless and I was scared...very scared. It lasted for 5 or 6 seconds and it stopped.
We all know what this is: ectopic beats of the worst sort, the "big brother" of palpitations. I personally never had them this hard and this sudden, so it got me scared. I had felt similar things on occasions, but a lot milder.
So our first health anxiety reflex is "OMG the exams were wrong! I'm going to die today!!" But then a bit of self-control kicks in and we start to wonder about it, to ask ourselfs "was I anxious in any way today?" and without surprise we say to ourselfs "actually yes, I was aware of some anxiety that lasted through the day..."...Bingo!
So, not only I'm an anxious guy, but I'm also an idiot for being aware of "prolonged" anxiety during the day and not taking the pills for it. Pills which are not hipnotics or "hard stuff", and according to the GP, I can even take with booze and drive my car. Now I look like a even bigger idiot right? :)
So, I did what I was set to do with GF (dinner with friends), had fun and forced my self into relaxing even though my mind and anxiety were running rampant. Honestly it was a 50%-50% effort, where I managed to have real fun and be sociable half the time, on the other half I listened and smiled while fighting my anxious worries of having a heart condition.
Of course I talked it over with GF on the way, she also noticed me being stressed and agreed later with me being an idiot for not taking the pills.
Long story short, on the way back home I ruminated further over the matter. Of course that I felt a full dozen other sympthons, from shortness of breath to stings on the chest, pain here and there, the full works. But I just ignored them because I was aware of my high anxiety through the day, for me this is a pretty big deal, I knew that all that was anxiety and stress and managed to block it out.
I took a pill when I got home and all the sympthoms went away (all but the lower back pain, but that one is diagnosed and under treatment). As I write here, all I feel is a swollen stomach due to a stupid ammount of anxiety and my back bitching.
Another day, another battle with anxiety and a big scare to teach me to know better :)
Just a small PS: I becoming aware of my anxiety being the cause of the health anxiety, I don't know if anyone here can answer this (professionaly that is), but here goes: Should I consider seeing a counselor over the "normal" anxiety matter?
Like I said on my previous posts, I am fully aware of my anxious condition, specially the health variant.
So now I tend to struggle with sympthoms instead of surrendering to them. My third round of exams (in 2 years) managed to give me a boost in confidence on my health, so I have been fighting a good fight against health anxiety.
Yet today I got a scare, and a big one for good measure!
I was entering the car while my GF was waiting, and as I sat down the heart started to "miss" beats and going at a maniac speed. I started to feel breathless and I was scared...very scared. It lasted for 5 or 6 seconds and it stopped.
We all know what this is: ectopic beats of the worst sort, the "big brother" of palpitations. I personally never had them this hard and this sudden, so it got me scared. I had felt similar things on occasions, but a lot milder.
So our first health anxiety reflex is "OMG the exams were wrong! I'm going to die today!!" But then a bit of self-control kicks in and we start to wonder about it, to ask ourselfs "was I anxious in any way today?" and without surprise we say to ourselfs "actually yes, I was aware of some anxiety that lasted through the day..."...Bingo!
So, not only I'm an anxious guy, but I'm also an idiot for being aware of "prolonged" anxiety during the day and not taking the pills for it. Pills which are not hipnotics or "hard stuff", and according to the GP, I can even take with booze and drive my car. Now I look like a even bigger idiot right? :)
So, I did what I was set to do with GF (dinner with friends), had fun and forced my self into relaxing even though my mind and anxiety were running rampant. Honestly it was a 50%-50% effort, where I managed to have real fun and be sociable half the time, on the other half I listened and smiled while fighting my anxious worries of having a heart condition.
Of course I talked it over with GF on the way, she also noticed me being stressed and agreed later with me being an idiot for not taking the pills.
Long story short, on the way back home I ruminated further over the matter. Of course that I felt a full dozen other sympthons, from shortness of breath to stings on the chest, pain here and there, the full works. But I just ignored them because I was aware of my high anxiety through the day, for me this is a pretty big deal, I knew that all that was anxiety and stress and managed to block it out.
I took a pill when I got home and all the sympthoms went away (all but the lower back pain, but that one is diagnosed and under treatment). As I write here, all I feel is a swollen stomach due to a stupid ammount of anxiety and my back bitching.
Another day, another battle with anxiety and a big scare to teach me to know better :)
Just a small PS: I becoming aware of my anxiety being the cause of the health anxiety, I don't know if anyone here can answer this (professionaly that is), but here goes: Should I consider seeing a counselor over the "normal" anxiety matter?