Can anyone help- re-assure me?

[Bongo182]

hello

I am a 26 year old man and have been suffering with anxiety and panick attacks for about 4 and half years. When i first had them i was sooo scared and sufferd with de-realization aswell. It was horrible, woke up everyday and felt so spacey....finally got to the point where i couldnt leave the house. After about 3 months of this i fought against it and got a job and slowly but surely it got better over the next year.

For the last 2 and a half years i have been generally fine, still having some feelings but being able to control them. Until recently me and my girlfriend went on a family trip to ireland . I am not the best with heights and we went to the top of the guiness tower and i had a panic attack, Ever since then i have just been really anxious again. Me and my partner have just moved into our new house and i have just got a new job (i started yesterday) .

The problem is that yesterday was my first day and i constantly just felt dizzy and like i was going to pass out and that i just wanted to run away so i could die without the embarassment of being around the people that dont know me. It makes me feel sick, dizzy, crazy, thoughts that i am dieing, and gives me such lack of concentration. And when i am going through these feelings, i convince myself that this cant be anxiety because its soo bad. I feel like i am under so much pressure at the moment. Just got a new house and i need to work so we can have a nice life together, but i am getting so scared that its going to get to a point where it stops me from being able to do anything!

What i would like from anyone is maybe some positive storys about people who feel the same but manage to get through it and stay in a job and are etting better or anything along them lines. Everyday i make sure i go out the house for a period of time if i am working or not.....so i dont let the house become my 'prison'. Also the doctors have tried medication but i never really take it as i have heard with the anti-anxiety meds it makes you worse for first 3 weeks usually. One thing that does help is alcohol.......i find myself coming home from work and drinking straiht away or when i get worked up going straight to pub or having a can of laer just to calm me down. Anything that any of you reccomend and any positive storys would be reat right now...... as i get so scared i am going to let everyone down due to my mind playing tricks on me :(

Thanks in advance
Bongo :)

[Annie0904]

So sorry you are going through a hard time again and you have had quite a few stressful events recently. First of all alcohol may feel like it is helping you but in actual fact it will increase the anxiety levels as it wears off. Chamomile tea would do you a lot more good. Maybe your doctor could refer you for counselling? You have overcome this before and you can overcome it again but you have to believe that and be positive :hugs::hugs:

[Angelai]

You went to the top of the guiness tower, with a fear of heights - well done you! Yes, you had a panic attack, but you actually got up there first. That's a positive.

So the fear that this has sparked off, combined with the stress of a new home AND a new job, I'm not surprised that you are struggling. Your fear of letting people down is also going to be a big booster of anxiety - you have found yourself in that nasty cycle of worry-anxiety-more worry-more anxiety... and on it goes.

You know that drinking is not the answer, it can actually make anxiety worse in the long run. Try not to let that get out of control.

What is your new job? Is it office/shop based? As in, do you have regular access to coffee/tea or any other drinks with caffeine in? I ask because caffeine is the worst thing for my anxiety, and was wondering if you are having more of it because of work? And related to the job - that's fantastic that you have managed to find a new job in such difficult times, your employer obviously saw something good in you - don't forget that or beat yourself up, you have achieved something there.

Medication... yes, it can make you feel worse initially, and I am terrible for refusing to take meds for that reason. I have to say though, I have been back on sertraline for 2 months and I am so glad I did it. I was incredibly tired and low in the beginning, but it has been so worth it.

I know very well how you are feeling, what is working for me right now is medication. And not putting myself under too much pressure or expecting too much of myself. Of course, we have to go to work - but outside of that you need to be good to yourself and take it easy. Is your girlfriend aware of how you are feeling? It really does help to have someone to talk to about it.

So, congratulate yourself for what you have achieved, talk to your doctor and maybe consider medication or cbt therapy. Also, talk to your girlfriend, or another friend or family member, if you can - you need support. Watch the drinking, eat well and keep on with getting out of the house every day. You have gotten through this before, and you will again.

I have been in very bad places, emotional support, pills and not beating myself up all the time have helped me greatly. Looking for even just one tiny positive every day makes a big difference too - from making it to work to just getting dressed some days!

Accept that this is anxiety, and that you can still function even if you can't eliminate it. And don't be afraid to ask for help.

:welcome: to the site, you will find lots of people on here with advice and understanding.

x

[Bongo182]

Thank you both of you for your replys. Angelia your post has ignited some positive feelins in me that i need right now. I start work in 1 and half hours and my new job is support worker, looking after poeple with autism and epilepsy.....this mainly involves goin out with them to the cinema or shopping and when i am feelin abit agrophobic it seems really hard. I am hoping that if i just force myself to do it and dont just run away from it, then my body will get used to it and my anxiety will lower everytime. I dont drink coffee or much tea due to caffeine making me feel worse too. Im scared of getting medication incase it will make me feel worse and tip me over the edge and not be able to work etc etc....

[Edward_1980]

Hi Bongo,

First of all I am sorry that you are going through a tough time. Alcohol will relax you for a while, but once the effects begin to fade the anxiety will come back with a vengeance. I have tried this before and only found it to be the enemy in the long run. Maybe you could try caffeine free tea of decaf coffee? Don't be afraid of medication. I'm not saying that you need it or anything, but your GP might decide to put you on something to get you over the worst of things. It is your choice though and in the end you are the one to decide what is best :)

[Angelai]

Bongo, I can see how your job must be very difficult for you - but it IS an amazing, selfless job to be doing, you are a star x