Convinced myself I have melanoma now :(

[SamanthaAU]

Some of you may have seen my thread from yesterday - I have an increased risk of melanoma :(

I went through this panic a few years ago and now it's resurfaced. I have jut spent the last hour inspecting my legs and now I think I have melanoma. I had my last skin check in June, but I had a new mole cut out 2 days ago.


I am so scared or dying, I don't want to leave my children this is what my fear centers around. Why can't I be normal. Why did I have to use a sun bed 10 years ago and unknowingly increase my risk :(((

[Annie0904]

It sounds like you are having regular checks of your moles so that is a good thing and if there was a problem with one of them it would be noticed and dealt with before it gets too serious. :hugs:

[Alessa16]

I also have the same fear, I removed some moles at home and I think it leads to melanoma. I REALLY can understand you but I dont have any word to say to relax you because I am scared too. But you shouldnt worry about sunbed. My friend uses it for 2 years in every week and she doesnt have melanoma she is very healthy. also, she seems that she doesnt care skin cancer, she doesnt even think it :) I asked her '' dont you scare of melanoma? '' And her answer was '' what is melanoma?''

I think we are exxagerating

Hugs :)

[Acidomoduso]

My friend died last friday from Metastatic Melanoma in the liver. Her funeral was yesterday. It was just less than two years from first having the mole checked to death. Her mole was around and inch and a half long by and inch wide, raised and ugly looking. When they finally cut it out they said it was 8mm deep. She had lymph nodes removed but it was too late by then... it had got into her liver and deposited many, many tumours. If she'd had it removed when they first looked at it, things may have been different.

I am pretty sure that you would be a low risk by the sounds of it. What makes you think you have melanoma? Do you have a large or irregular mole? Is it oddly coloured (i.e. black with patches of red)? Is it raised off the surface of your skin? Are you feeling ill and nauseous all the time? Are you losing weight?
You would KNOW if you had an issue. This is what my friend told me. Have you had a blood test? And why did they cut out a new mole? If they have cut it out it will automatically be biopsied. If... IF... you even have anything, it sounds like it will have been caught early enough.

I would say though... DO care about sun beds. Any damage to the skin is damage. I wouldn't worry about your usage from 10 years ago so much but do try to stay away from them. Alessa16's friend sounds a little dopey if you ask me (apologies Alessa). That is too much of a gung-ho attitude to have when it comes to things like this.

Don't get hung up on melanoma.... i've seen first hand what it can do and it is quick and there are many symptoms that you just can't ignore. Go to the doctors and ask for a full body check on your moles if you want peace of mind (i had my check free with work this year). You are fine Samantha. Try not to worry.

[SamanthaAU]

I'm lost for words - I am so very, very sorry for the loss of your friend xxx

[SamanthaAU]

I have spent all day worrying about spots I can see on me, analyzing how many moles I have compared to everyone else - anything about skin cancer I have obsessed over today.

I have made an appointment for 3.5 weeks for a skin check even though I have had one only 4 months ago :( Ridiculous I know!

I just hate the unkown. THe unknown of what is going to happen to me in the future - I know that I am not the only one, but I wish I was one of those people that didn't worry. I can't change the past and the time I used the sunbed - I just wish I could deal with it and move forward. I hate that I live in the skin cancer capital of the world. I hate that my parents didn't instill a very good sun safety message in us because they didn't know any better. I wish I haven't had sunburn repeatedly for the last 34 years. I just hate this HA - its been 4 long years, how many more do we all have to endure :(

[SamanthaAU]

I am trying so hard to push it to the back of my mind but its not working.

I hate that no one here can tell me that things will be ok, normally NMP is the only place I find reassurance when I am in need. I know that no one knows if I will be ok and that is making me worse :weep:

[Jo1981]

Hey..i am exactly the same as you with this fear although its something that comes and goes im not constantly thinking about it..but we live in spain so in the sun all the time..i have pale skin and freckles so im constantly worried after having years of sun exposure. I have two young children and i worry something is going to happen to me and leave them without a mummy :( or that i am putting there skin in danger even though were so careful and they are mixed race so they dont burn to easy..if you ever want to talk private message me :) x

[SamanthaAU]

Thanks Jo, and I am sorry you are feeling the same way :hugs:

[nomorepanic]

It is easy for a doctor to see if a mole is cancerous or not and they will soon tell you. So trust in them.

[SamanthaAU]

Thanks Nicola

[Tessar]

Hi Samantha; I'm so sorry that you are feeling scared. Its not a very pleasant sensation. when panicking, its hard to be realistic. i'm often reminded to look at the reality of situations when i feel at my worst.
Maybe I can take a factual look. You mention using a sunbed all those years ago. One fact is you did not know it may increase risk. Grom what you say now, had you known, you wouldnt have used it. That doesnt alter the situation now (in the physical sense) but you didnt know at the time. Therefore you are being very hard on yourself for a decision you took in good faith some time ago.
Another certain fact (as annie mentions): It's a good thing you have regular checks. This is positive and you are looking after yourself.
Once you discovered the situation, instead of running away, you confronted it head on. That is very brave. You are courageous.
Plus it is a proven fact that regular checks will contribute to things being dealt with at an early stage. Another positive.
You spent an hour inspecting your legs: Another indication that you are looking after yourself. I appreciate the outcome of that (thinking you have melanoma) does not feel positive right now but you are up to date with your checks & have had treatment as a result of them.
Therefore you are looking out for your children's needs by looking after yourself. I dont have children myself so cannot pretend to understand how this feels but looking in on the situation I feel you are being a very responsible parent.

[SamanthaAU]

Thank you Tessar, thank you :hugs: