Really close to the end

[Dnvgraphics2k12]

Hey guys its been a while since i have posted on here.. Where do i start on how im feeling let me bring you up to date on my situation my oldest son kai was taking away from me about two years ago by his mum she upped and left me and moved back to her home country in the Philippines without any warning i never done anything to make someone do that :( ok fast forward to now..Im am feeling at an all time low i dont know what to do anymore i feel soo low and depressed it feels like my world is in bits and i cant put it back together.. 5 months ago my second son lewis was born i love him to the moon and back dont get me wrong but i feel like i cant be the dad i want to be to him because im scared to death that he will get taking away from me like kai did when i look at him i see kai then i get flashbacks and that kills me inside...i cant bear this pain any longer i dont know what to do :( sorry for the long post xx

[kittikat]

So sad to hear your dilemma. It seems you could be suffering some kind of PTSD having flashbacks to a traumatic and distressing event in your life.

You have a new young son that you adore, don't let this destroy the second chance you have to be the dad you want to be. The pain and depression is clouding your mind. Have you spoken to your GP and partner about how you feel? Also babies are very perceptive and can pick up on the negativity you feel.

I cannot begin to understand how much pain you are in but the sooner you get some help and support to deal with this, the better in my opinion. I'm sure you are a brilliant dad, you are just scared because of what happened before. You had no control of that situation, but you have the power to take control of how you are feeling now before it destroys you inside.

I hope you can sort this out for your own sake and the sake of your partner and new son. Be strong and good luck with your beautiful little baby.

Kitti :)

[Dnvgraphics2k12]

Hello kitti :)

Unfortunately im no longer with his mum we split about a year ago so i have been trying to deal with that also as she was the love of my life.. I know i need help as i cant live like this much longer as each day goes by i feel even more eaten up by this i try and talk to my family about it but i feel like they dont understand i know its not there fault they dont.. i just have this big hole in my heart that i cant seem to be able to filll and its getting bigger as each day goes by. im getting legal help but i just feel like nothings been done xx

[Serenitie]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time. the best advice I can give in relation to any problem is that we cannot change the past. We only have control over our actions in the present, which in turn affect our future.

It may be helpful for you to see a counsellor to work through issues around Kai so that you can enjoy and successfully parent Lewis.

The loss of your first son being taken back to the Philippines is a very rare event and trauma to endure. Maybe counselling will help you to realise that Lewis will not be taken away as Kai was which will make it easier for you to bond with Lewis.

Try to focus on one thing at a time. Your relationship with Lewis is a constant. Focus on this for now and work on maintaining a civilised relationship with his Mum, if possible. If you want to explore revisiting your relationship with your ex you need to focus on this at a later date as a separate issue. Try to find your way with parenting Lewis first. I'm sure this will have a knock on effect on your own well being too.

Wishing you well in resolving these issues :hugs: