geri005
28-10-12, 11:36
Hello!
I've been strugling with GAD for over a year now, i even spent more than a month in the hospital.
My fear is that i have some kinda illness, that the doctor is missing. When they first sent me to a shrink after my 1st panic attack, she made my GP do a bloodwork, EEG, heart exam, chest xray. Everything turned out to be negative.
Here's my problem: I've been doing... good/better for the past months (i don't even know what its like to feel totaly OK anymore), but now i'm starting to lose it again. I can't even describe my symptoms properly. I'm lightheaded, my heartbeat is very very irregular and racing all the time, i feel dizy, i can't concentrate, i have a weird feeling in my whole body. Sometimes i feel like i'm losing control over my body, and losing my mind.
All my life i've been a very rational guy, always looked for answers to explain everything. And even though i told my shrink, i will not get better until they check me out completely (phisically), she kept ingoring me, and telling me to keep my mind off of it. I tried... jogging. I had to stop when my chest started burning, when my vision got blurry, i freaked out.
Now i never even mention my symtoms to my shrink, because she'd laugh at my face and tell me i'm an idiot(with different words), which is not the most reassuring behavior from someone who's supposed to help me. And my GP keeps sending me to my shrink with whatever problem i have, so i never visit her eighter. I kinda feel like i'm alone, and there's nothing i can do. I feel like i'm holding on, not knowing what's gonna happen to me. I never even think of my future anymore, i just assume i won't have one.
For a while, i refused to belive this is a mental problem, now i'm sure i have mental issues as well. I feel like i am emotionally numb. My head is trying to convice me of things like... i don't love my girlfriend. I do. I know i do. But i barely manage to keep it together while i'm with her. I feel so phisically unhealthy, i still refuse to believe its all up in my head.
Anyways, its time to wrap up this post, i didn't mean to bore anyone with my issues, i figured i might find some guidence here.
I thought i'd mention, that i'm on meds since the begining, it might be relevant. Here its called Rivotril 0,5 mg (clonezapam). I'm taking it twice a day.
Thanks for reading, any reply is very welcomed!
Gregory, 18.
I've been strugling with GAD for over a year now, i even spent more than a month in the hospital.
My fear is that i have some kinda illness, that the doctor is missing. When they first sent me to a shrink after my 1st panic attack, she made my GP do a bloodwork, EEG, heart exam, chest xray. Everything turned out to be negative.
Here's my problem: I've been doing... good/better for the past months (i don't even know what its like to feel totaly OK anymore), but now i'm starting to lose it again. I can't even describe my symptoms properly. I'm lightheaded, my heartbeat is very very irregular and racing all the time, i feel dizy, i can't concentrate, i have a weird feeling in my whole body. Sometimes i feel like i'm losing control over my body, and losing my mind.
All my life i've been a very rational guy, always looked for answers to explain everything. And even though i told my shrink, i will not get better until they check me out completely (phisically), she kept ingoring me, and telling me to keep my mind off of it. I tried... jogging. I had to stop when my chest started burning, when my vision got blurry, i freaked out.
Now i never even mention my symtoms to my shrink, because she'd laugh at my face and tell me i'm an idiot(with different words), which is not the most reassuring behavior from someone who's supposed to help me. And my GP keeps sending me to my shrink with whatever problem i have, so i never visit her eighter. I kinda feel like i'm alone, and there's nothing i can do. I feel like i'm holding on, not knowing what's gonna happen to me. I never even think of my future anymore, i just assume i won't have one.
For a while, i refused to belive this is a mental problem, now i'm sure i have mental issues as well. I feel like i am emotionally numb. My head is trying to convice me of things like... i don't love my girlfriend. I do. I know i do. But i barely manage to keep it together while i'm with her. I feel so phisically unhealthy, i still refuse to believe its all up in my head.
Anyways, its time to wrap up this post, i didn't mean to bore anyone with my issues, i figured i might find some guidence here.
I thought i'd mention, that i'm on meds since the begining, it might be relevant. Here its called Rivotril 0,5 mg (clonezapam). I'm taking it twice a day.
Thanks for reading, any reply is very welcomed!
Gregory, 18.