l2thedoublej
29-10-12, 18:21
anxiety is ruining my life! my paranoia around other people is so bad, i struggle to let me guard down and be me and i feel i probably come across to people like a total weirdo. When i have been in someone's company i often worry what impression i made, what they think about me & what they are saying to others about me, i have think its all negative too.
Before i have to go and meet up with someone, i plan things i have to say as when im in their company, my mind goes blank & i am so busy worrying what they are thinking about me. I also especially with having to go places alone try and find reasons why i cant go and try and talk myself out of meeting others.
i am struggling to make friends and maintain friendships because of my anxiety and its getting so bad, i don't even no how to socialise with people and make new friends. i feel totally disconnected from the world, like i don't fit in anywhere. when i do the school run, i stand waiting outside the class room and i am paranoid everyone is staring at me. i would love to make friends with some of the mums in the playground, i stand there thinking of what to say to them, some mums used to say hi, ask how i was, make small talk but i would just kill the conversation as would get all panicky and my mind would go blank and i wouldn't know what to say. when i visit my in laws, who i have difficult relations with, i just sit there and agree with what they saying and if they aint talking then there is just silence in the room, i feel my anxiety has messed my relationships with my in laws up as they just think and have voice how weird they think i am, when im not weird im just shy and anxious and they don't understand this or want to accept this.
any help or advice would be really helpful and appreciated.
thanks
Before i have to go and meet up with someone, i plan things i have to say as when im in their company, my mind goes blank & i am so busy worrying what they are thinking about me. I also especially with having to go places alone try and find reasons why i cant go and try and talk myself out of meeting others.
i am struggling to make friends and maintain friendships because of my anxiety and its getting so bad, i don't even no how to socialise with people and make new friends. i feel totally disconnected from the world, like i don't fit in anywhere. when i do the school run, i stand waiting outside the class room and i am paranoid everyone is staring at me. i would love to make friends with some of the mums in the playground, i stand there thinking of what to say to them, some mums used to say hi, ask how i was, make small talk but i would just kill the conversation as would get all panicky and my mind would go blank and i wouldn't know what to say. when i visit my in laws, who i have difficult relations with, i just sit there and agree with what they saying and if they aint talking then there is just silence in the room, i feel my anxiety has messed my relationships with my in laws up as they just think and have voice how weird they think i am, when im not weird im just shy and anxious and they don't understand this or want to accept this.
any help or advice would be really helpful and appreciated.
thanks