Tyler
30-10-12, 19:13
Ive suffered depression for about 6 years now. Its became it has become progressively worse this year, so much so my doctors has removed me from there practise. Apparently, I am in the top five most difficult patients they have come across. I really didnt know they kept a league table.
Its hard to describe what the depression feels like, its like a big black could appears over me and i become angry, stressed, unhappy, accompanied by physical pain. For a long time I have turned to alcohol for release. For two weeks I have turned away from this, its been a real struggle and the urge is there.
I have no doubt that my serotonin levels are low. I have tried all the anti depressants but due to side effects with gastric acid I am unable to take them. Don’t get me wrong I am not hooked on tramodol, but if I take them after months of not I feel a ok. So it must be the serotonin they release. I don’t think thats the solution those things are addictive.
The serotonin could just be a byproduct, after all I was married until 25 and i was perfectly fine. I really shouldn’t have any reason to grumble I have kids and Ive prob had about 20 girlfriends in my life, but Id happily swap it all for the right girl. None of it compares to having someone special being part of a family.
My life consists of me seeing my kids on a friday. I have no job, no friends no girlfriend no nothing. My choice in friends is as bad as my choice in woman, I ditched my friends after they decided to spike my drink with some unkown drugs because I was being the life and soul of the party with some strangers. Which is strange as normally when I meet people I normally don't get on with them. So after nearly dying I have released I have no friends, and most days I dont speak to anyone at all. Ive tried taking up hobbies to meet new friends but I just cant get on with anyone new unless Ive had a drink in me.
Its hard to describe what the depression feels like, its like a big black could appears over me and i become angry, stressed, unhappy, accompanied by physical pain. For a long time I have turned to alcohol for release. For two weeks I have turned away from this, its been a real struggle and the urge is there.
I have no doubt that my serotonin levels are low. I have tried all the anti depressants but due to side effects with gastric acid I am unable to take them. Don’t get me wrong I am not hooked on tramodol, but if I take them after months of not I feel a ok. So it must be the serotonin they release. I don’t think thats the solution those things are addictive.
The serotonin could just be a byproduct, after all I was married until 25 and i was perfectly fine. I really shouldn’t have any reason to grumble I have kids and Ive prob had about 20 girlfriends in my life, but Id happily swap it all for the right girl. None of it compares to having someone special being part of a family.
My life consists of me seeing my kids on a friday. I have no job, no friends no girlfriend no nothing. My choice in friends is as bad as my choice in woman, I ditched my friends after they decided to spike my drink with some unkown drugs because I was being the life and soul of the party with some strangers. Which is strange as normally when I meet people I normally don't get on with them. So after nearly dying I have released I have no friends, and most days I dont speak to anyone at all. Ive tried taking up hobbies to meet new friends but I just cant get on with anyone new unless Ive had a drink in me.