signalfire
01-11-12, 19:09
I need some help, or somewhere to vent, or something and i was recommended this site.
I've had depression and social anxiety disorder for most of my life, i'm 20 and currently unemployed and not in college.
About a year and a half ago I was kind of messed around by a girl i was with for 2 years. I left college for her and leaving college resulted in my dad being disappointed and trying to take his own life. I couldnt handle the guilt and became distant from her tho it was a temporary thing and I thought we'd be fine after but instead she left me. I ended up overdosing and only surviving because a worried friend took the initiative to contact my family who got to me in time.
It took me a long time to get over her but I did and 4 months ago I met a wonderful girl who just seemed to understand me, we got on great. We fell in love and everything was going amazing, or so i thought, she broke up with me yesterday completely out of the blue.
I realise this reads as "kid sad after break ups" but it's not that. It's the overall feeling that every single time i get happy, get healthy and get on the road to being a "normal" person, something like this sets me back 10 steps and I'm sick of it. I'm truly alone, SAnD makes it impossible to make friends, i have none, my dad i cant talk to, my mum doesnt understand, psychiatrists seem to spout cliches that are from a book and not specific to my problem.
I'm just tired of getting my hopes up for nothing and feel dangerously close to quitting
I've had depression and social anxiety disorder for most of my life, i'm 20 and currently unemployed and not in college.
About a year and a half ago I was kind of messed around by a girl i was with for 2 years. I left college for her and leaving college resulted in my dad being disappointed and trying to take his own life. I couldnt handle the guilt and became distant from her tho it was a temporary thing and I thought we'd be fine after but instead she left me. I ended up overdosing and only surviving because a worried friend took the initiative to contact my family who got to me in time.
It took me a long time to get over her but I did and 4 months ago I met a wonderful girl who just seemed to understand me, we got on great. We fell in love and everything was going amazing, or so i thought, she broke up with me yesterday completely out of the blue.
I realise this reads as "kid sad after break ups" but it's not that. It's the overall feeling that every single time i get happy, get healthy and get on the road to being a "normal" person, something like this sets me back 10 steps and I'm sick of it. I'm truly alone, SAnD makes it impossible to make friends, i have none, my dad i cant talk to, my mum doesnt understand, psychiatrists seem to spout cliches that are from a book and not specific to my problem.
I'm just tired of getting my hopes up for nothing and feel dangerously close to quitting