Binge drinking and linked to depression

[LilyC]

Hi I know most people on this site are probably not here in relation to drinking problems but just in case, anyone had experience of trying to get off binge drinking (I mean severe binge drinking ie lack of memory even if falling over, hurting oneself, having sex etc etc). I've had enough of my issues and want to sort it out now. Got a session booked in with counsellor in a week but in meantime anyone sorted themselves out in any other way? Oh and I'm 51 by the way and this has happened randomly throughout my life. Now affected/possibly ended a relationship with a lovely lovely man so am so sad about that if I ever get a chance of seeing him again it would be through me sorting myself out. Also have relationship issues ie insecurity if not seeing him, wanting to see him even if he's busy etc etc. He's now backed off and this week has been hell. I've had depression big time in the past, not taken though was prescribed fluoexetine last year, got through that on my own in the end. Always over relationships by the way! Can't blame others, have to work things out myself and sort myself out. People think I'm so confident but I'm not! Anyway enough info for people to read for now, let's see if anyone replies....

[LilyC]

Hi everyone I see many people have viewed my posting but I've had no feedback. If anyone can give me any feedback it would be most welcome (and yes I get that this site does not really focus on drinking but it surely is related to depression etc?). Thanks and hope to hear from you, take care. x

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Lily I cannot relate to the binge drinking part but I do relate to the destructive urges that you describe so well. I guess that you are right that AA is probably the best place to deal with the alcohol problems that you face. They have years of experience in this field and I know of friends who have followed the 'Step' programme. I understand that depression can lead us into self destruct mode so we need to get behind the depression painful though it may be. Going to see the counsellor is the first step in that process. Best Wishes. EJ.

[LilyC]

Thanks Elizabeth yes you're right about the destructive urges, not sure why I'm like it. My sister today said maybe it's because our mother died when i was a baby but no that's not it as my father remarried soon after to a lovely lady who brought me up as her daughter and in my eyes she was always my mothers so it's not that. I really don't know why I am like I am but I guess I need to look more at how to change it going forward, not looking backwards. I'm looking forward to seeing the counsellor on Thursday, it's a step forwards. I am also visiting an alcohol service on Wed morning so another thing to look forward to. Will let you know how I get on. x

[Dianebains]

Hi everyone I see many people have viewed my posting but I've had no feedback. If anyone can give me any feedback it would be most welcome (and yes I get that this site does not really focus on drinking but it surely is related to depression etc?). Thanks and hope to hear from you, take care. x

Hi lily,I have been in the exact same position as you,it's scary because I realised I was using achohol to cover my depression&anxiety but only to hit me with a vengeance the next day(ouch) it's easier said the. Done but try to leave drinking for a little while&see if this helps your mood.also confidence is something you need to find in yourself,maybe with help through talking to therapist or forums x:)

[LilyC]

Thank you Diane (and the rest of you!) for your advice it's a tough time at the moment not seeing my man but hope to get through all of this but it's hard, so thank you for your support. Am out tonight but do not aim to drink a lot if at all, have to start somewhere!

[NoPoet]

Hi, for my two penneth, you should definitely see an improvement in your mood if you cut down on alcohol. This will happen gradually and not straight away. As you probably know, alcohol is a depressant. You need to get it out of your system as it is fuelling your depression. The drinking is probably a symptom of depression, maybe an attempt to self-medicate, rather than the cause.

Don't try to go "cold turkey" if you are physically addicted to alcohol, it's more realistic and probably more helpful to simply reduce the amount you drink to begin with. Then you shouldn't experience cravings to the same extent as if you went cold turkey.

Bear in mind that reducing your reliance on alcohol will leave a big hole in your life - this is actually a good think as you can fill it with more positive things that you enjoy and generally benefit you. Counselling would help with this but you will probably benefit more from behavioural therapy as you are trying to break negative habits (excessive drinking) and thought patterns (depression). Counselling is not ideal for these things, although a talented/highly trained therapist will introduce "mindfulness" and/or aspects of CBT into your sessions.

If you seem to experience depression in connection with relationships, this should be the first thing you explore in therapy. A good therapist can help you understand loads of things that seem unconnected or don't make sense to you at the moment.

[LilyC]

Thing is I can go for days without drinking and don't drink a lot at home but it's when I go out I drink too much, sometimes that is. anyway when i went out friday I was very pleased just to have two drinks, a first for me! I am meeting with a group tomorrow night who all have issues with drinking so that's something then my counsellor again on thursday, little steps I guess eh? i think a therapist would cost more so for now I can only do what I can afford. I am very depressed due to not hearing from my man but try to get through the days whilst hoping things work out in due course. I do work so that helps I guess. I'm quite pleased I've not turned to drink this time as I normally do when I get depressed. Thank you for your advice, it is all very helpful to me.

[NoPoet]

Are you sure that when you use the word "depressed", you are referring to actual clinical depression rather than just feeling sad and/or anxious?

It's natural to be upset and hurt by lack of contact with someone, especially if you tend to see things in a negative light and have issues with your self esteem. Tackling the binge drinking and the emotional issues seperately is a good idea, even though the anx/dep and drinking are probably connected. Baby steps is the right way to go - no point overloading yourself with this stuff, the early days of therapy can be unpleasant, so you should make sure you get away from the problems every so often.

Hopefully your counsellor will help you identify what's really going on. Then you will be able to make more progress without being overloaded.

[LilyC]

Well it may be just sadness or feeling anxious but I've had it called depression by therapists and my GP when trying to help me when my last relationship went wrong (and the last one!) and with thoughts of suicide in the past, I kind of assume that I do tend towards depression, I'm very much an up and down person anyway always have been so any problems make me more down than say somebody else. Yes hopefully in time other problems will be identified to then be worked on I guess. thank you for your input.