boyfriend going away for weekend, can't stop worrying!

[lo89]

I am not really sure if this relates to health anxiety or not, but I can't get the idea that something horrible is going to happen to my boyfriend while he is away.
He is only going to a little town just outside Newcastle to visit his friend who moved there a few months ago, there are 4 of them going and they are not even going out clubbing etc so I really shouldn't be worrying, I am just petrified that he is going to be so far away, and I am convinced he is going to be in some sort of accident.
As I am typing this I can see that I am being ridiculous, but I know I won't relax until he is back home on Sunday. It is not that I am worried about what he is going to be getting up to - they are sitting in his friends parents house with a few drinks, probably watching football and playing the x bow while eating takeaways and drinking beer, being typical boys. I am more worried about the journey to and from Newcastle (it is not even that far, we live just outside Glasgow!)
It is the longest we have been apart since a few months after meeting, and it is the first weekend in 2 years I haven't spent with him.
I have made lots of plans to keep myself occupied, I am going out with friends tonight and tomorrow night, going to book a week away for me and my boyfriend on Saturday then going shopping with my mum, and then meeting another friend on Sunday, but i know i will still worry.
My boyfriend is also stressing about the idea of me going into Glasgow with my friends and him not being close by if i need him.
I know it sounds as though we have trust issues, but we really don't. It is just the car journey and him being so far away. My friends all think i am beig ridiculous, they do not understand what it is like to be convinced something bad will happen.
Does anyone else worry like this? How do i get a grip and man up?

[justina]

I understand what you mean. I think it is related to the HA or to anxiety in general. We want to have control, and when we can't have control (as with health, or when someone dear is far away) we expect all kinds of disasters to happen.
I think you are reacting well, planning to keep yourself busy with friends
:bighug1:

[jumpwomble]

I can understand this feeling very well. Many years ago, my partner was told they had to go away on a 3 week work trip to another continent and I totally freaked out. I convinced myself that something bad was going to happen to them and I would not know about it for ages. It's all down to needing a sense of control; the insecurity when you feel someone is far away and beyond your control. The feelings you have that something "bad" will happen to them are irrational, and it is important to recognise that... I think it is most important that you can get over the few days by yourself - with plenty of distractions and supportive friends and family, that's my suggestion. :) If you have a supportive and understanding family, it will go a long way to alleviate your worries. And the more often your partner goes away (uneventfully), the more relaxed you will eventually feel about it!

jumpy

[swgrl09]

I understand this well also. My fiance travels every weekend for work to different parts of the country. Sometimes he is a 6 hour flight away, sometimes closer. It was very hard for me to get used to and I do still worry sometimes about him being in an accident or plan trouble, etc. But having it happen every weekend has helped me to not be so anxious. I am sorry that you are going through it. It helps me to try to keep busy so the time goes by faster and I am distracted.

---------- Post added at 11:49 ---------- Previous post was at 11:48 ----------

Also I agree with the above post about it being about lack of control. When he would travel before my mom died, I was not so nervous but after she died, I was so anxious when he was gone that something would happen to him. I personally have been trying ot work on accepting the lack of control we have over life and be able to live in spite of that. It is hard.

[lo89]

Thanks for the replies people. It reassures me that I am not the only one who goes through this! I even stress when he is driving home from work etc, I know it is stupid but I keep checking the BBC travel news for accidents! I am the same with other people I am close to, especially my parents and sister, and my best friend. I know it is really silly! I can't stop though. I am dreading my sister starting driving (she has failed her test three times in the past 8 weeks so should be driving any time soon, she isn't telling us her next test date though)
He called me earlier to say he has arrived safely. I am a bit more relaxed now, until he starts drinking later and then I will worry about that.