Benefits and agoraphobia

[kirsty74]

I didn't know where to post this, so I hope it's ok here.

My marriage is on the verge of breaking down. I am unable to work because I am agoraphobic, I can't go further than about 10 mins away from my house and haven't stayed out for longer than an hour-hour and a half max when I do get out. Some days I struggle with a ten minute trip to the school. I am working on this and in the last week have made 3 longer journeys by bus, although the time I am out has not been any longer. I have my 1st CBT session next week. This will be the third time I have tried CBT.

I have 2 children, a girl of 19 who moved out last year and a little boy who will be 5 in March. Sorry for the long-winded back story, but it is relevant!! My actual question is if I was to end my marriage what financial help could I get? I know that singe parents have to come off of Income Support when their child turns five and go on JSA. I am not in a position to job hunt but have only heard horror stories of people trying to access benefits when having difficulties with mental health. I feel like I am stuck in a relationship that is no good (and I really have tried to make it work, we have been together 20 years) and I feel it has been a contributor in my originally getting panic attacks 7 years ago, which then became agoraphobia 2 years ago.

Sorry it's so long, and well done if you made it this far!! I would be so grateful for any advice or experiences other people have had in similar situations.

[bernie1977]

Sorry to hear things aren't going well for you. Worrying about money is the last thing you need when you suffer with anxiety.

If you can't work because of your illness you can apply for Emplyment Support Allowance. I would ring your local Citizens Advice, Welfare Rights or DIAL with help completing the forms and ask for someone with experience in mental health based claims.

This site is also invaluable with the help and guidance it gives: http://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/

[Laura123]

Absolutely agree with the the above post. Speak to welfare rights, they will help you through x

[kirsty74]

Thank you both. I didn't even realise that there was someone who could help with the mental health issues. I will look at the link. Thank you again x

[Col]

Hi Kirsty,
ohh I really hope for you, that you can stop your marriage from actually comming to an end. I started with panic attacks last year, some of my other posts go into a lot of detail but to make a long story short ~ I've got 2 kids and in my 10+ year relationship with my hubby we've had serious family problems. We come from different backgrounds I'm English/Irish with carribean roots from my fathers side and my husband - Pakistani. Basically it's been like the Montegue and Capulet saga from Romeo and Juliet - major major stress! Thrown into the mix me completing a degree, buying 3 houses, within this period moving in with my in laws for over 5 years, learning to drive, getting married in secret, my mum being sectioned , my brother doesn't talk to my mum. My dad having a child to another women whose now only 6 and he made her move out when she was heavily pregnant from his house! In addition getting bullied from my husbands sisters and mum, forcing me to convert change my name, despite us being married b4 we moved in with them and having a 2nd baby whilst I was there!! So sorry we are OUT now, we've got our own house finally BUT because we stepped off the ladder when we moved in to the in laws durring the boom, we found it hard to get back on the property ladder ,but like I said were out!!! So back to last year that was it, I started doing my PGCE techer training but with a 8 year old and a 20 month old, I had a massive break down - course work comming out of my ears and finally moving house - I think compounded stress just completely took over! Major meltdown. Lead to me quiting the 1 year teaching course and a loss of my bursary and obviously because I'm not qualified, I'm now back to what shall I do with my degree again, shall I do teaching or a phd??? Anyway last year having a big mortgage and my teaching bursery going, a nightmare, I was so weak and broken I got agoraphobia and struggled getting my daughter to school which is a 5 minute car drive away. Was horrendous. I tried to take the pressure off my hubby by applying for ESA, it got declined , basically I'd not worked in the last 2 years ( yep had baby and went to do teacher training) so therfore had not contributed enough NI contributions! Tried getting JSA this may June - NO NO took 4 wks and to get a NO should get a decision in 14 days!!!same again not paid enough NI and my hubby works over 25 hours a week! GREAT! Hourrendous, this current government really have made cut backs and are making the guide lines very specific and you either fit the specifics or not and if not you get nothing! Seriously before you take any steps towards ending your marriage do your research for the interests of your children, I'm not saying that anyone should stay in a marriage for money but, it's so hard out there at the moment, so make sure you know what is available first!

Takecare :hugs: