View Full Version : wow I made the Leeds meet!
Hi
Wow.......
Although I only just walked through the door.... (thanks Antonia and Speckles for coming to one bus stop then the other and then the train station and then back to the bus stop!!!!!) Yeh anyway despite getting off the extra long bus once I got on second bus and got home in the end.
even though kept telling myself i was going i didnt think i would actually get further than the buses if anything.
panicked to hell about meeting at the train stagtion (thanks laura for coming up to me) or i would have probably have stood there forever.
managed to sit outside pub (apologies everyone for been mute)...... then we moved inside the pub, to me it was busy (sorry for been a mess..... the whole panic attack in the toilet, got bit too much with how busy it was) and then just for some reason was trying to plan ahead and think about getting home and then just got too much and i just broke down in tears whilst trying not to and trying to just to carry on. (thanks for helping me to pull together serenitie)
maybe i shouldn't have had any alcohol on all the tablets i am but oh well.
(thanks bobbydog for coming to bar with me)...even that was a task in itself.....
..... im totally exhausted now.......
i do hope to come again and will try harder next time :) i promise.... i am a bit angry at myself for not keeping myself together.... i never cry in front of people, dont know what came over me.
i am glad i met you guys, gosh it so strange but in a good way... thanks for everything.... :0 really mean it.
also thanks to others i have been chatting to, and odd number i got to text for helping me to eventually get there. gosh been out of house since 11am and just got back in now and it after 10pm!!!!!
Well done, I think you did great :)
um thanks but i didnt, getting off bus several times, panic attacks, crying. :(
But you went! And you stayed and met new people! That's more than I could have done :)
it was so so so hard to get there!!!! and then was so so so hard to leave as knew the thought of all that travelling back, so kind of didnt want to leave
you did AMAZING ohno, and i know the other guys will agree with me. it doesnt matter one single iota about all the other stuff, the main thing is that you were there hun! So WELL DONE!!!! :-)
was great to finally meet you, looking forward to the next one already! :D
awww u r too kind laura.... im sure all of u were much better on your first meet.
Well done oh no,
Just because it wasn't obvious to you, doesn't mean that we weren't anxious too, I have spent many years trying to hide me feelings of anxiety.
You did so so well and will find it much easier next time, you know the venue, how to get there and can keep in contact with us on your journey there and back.
It is important that you have a life outside of your day to day routine, you are young and need friends.
We all need friends, this life is not a dress rehearsal.:D
wow thats good way to put it :)
yeh i guess it just hit me how special u guys were /are to me... that i went out and you were all still talking to me after i cried or went to toilets for ages till attack went away.
as in the past many a many a times... well :( :( it hasnt gone like that, ppl left me, ppl didnt want to talk, nasty comments. i thank you all for that.
speckles69uk
04-11-12, 09:26
Hey Jemma,
You're very welcome. We all just wanted to make sure you got home ok. You should be so proud of yourself, you did an amazing job yesterday and made some huge important steps. There's no need to apologise at all, we all understand what it's like and we'd never judge you or make nasty comments, so there's no need to worry, you're amongst friends. The next meet will be so much easier for you.
Take care and well done. :-)
Rebecca
Xxx
yeh im hoping it will be easier as at least il recognise faces.
got so many aims i need to do next time though..... want to be able to go to bar on my own.... not panic bout going inside where it is busy....... not use the toilets as an escape...... want to be able to talk more ( find that the hardest).
and want to be able to get on the bus and not get off on the journey there or home.
---------- Post added at 10:33 ---------- Previous post was at 09:38 ----------
yeh im hoping so too,
thanks so much x
defo not leaving my room today... staying n pjs so tired...
well I think you're amazing for putting yourself through all that ohno 1. It's incredibly brave of you, I couldn't even contemplate going so you've put me to shame.
Enjoy your day of rest and be VERY proud of yourself. It can only get easier now.
xx
i wanted to rest and now got to
got to go out for dinner
OMG! PANIC ALERT!
thanks tish... sorry i dont know u but thanks anyway, in fatc dont know a few of these people who commented.
You did so well to make it yesterday! It was lovely to meet you :) It was a huge achievement for you and the more things you do like this, the easier it will get. You know us all now so know what to expect next time. Well done! You should be very proud of yourself! :)
thanks cat.... im trying to think positive.
i am keen to come to next meet and even the other one at bradford, but depends who going to that one next week and if there someone i know.
yeh im hoping it will be easier next time. although dont think i should stay as long as was getting dark and loads of people about and the whole getting bus thing.
yeh im hoping it will be easier as at least il recognise faces.
got so many aims i need to do next time though..... want to be able to go to bar on my own.... not panic bout going inside where it is busy....... not use the toilets as an escape...... want to be able to talk more ( find that the hardest).
and want to be able to get on the bus and not get off on the journey there or home.
---------- Post added at 10:33 ---------- Previous post was at 09:38 ----------
yeh im hoping so too,
thanks so much x
defo not leaving my room today... staying n pjs so tired...
One thing at a time! Plan to do one thing that is on your list of "to do's" the next time we meet-up. You are just going to overload your brain otherwise and that will bring on a panic attack. Say perhaps - go to the bar on your own. I still don't find this easy myself, it has taken practice and no pressure.
You are not alone in going to the toilet to chill out when things are getting overwhelming, I imagine we all do it - I do.
Decide on a time you intend to leave, before you get there, perhaps before it is too dark and busy with nighttime drinkers.
um not sure the going to the bar on my own is best one to start with, i dont know.... but i could maybe aim to go by the end of the night...... when i see it isnt busy or something. or if someone comes to bar but goes bit further down does that count?
good to know others go to toilet too for that reason. bit reassuring. thanks for that.
hoping to be going on quite a few buses before next meet so i think my aim will be to go to bus stop on my own and il have looked at bus times before i go so i know what time the buses are :)
um not sure the going to the bar on my own is best one to start with, i dont know.... but i could maybe aim to go by the end of the night...... when i see it isnt busy or something. or if someone comes to bar but goes bit further down does that count?
good to know others go to toilet too for that reason. bit reassuring. thanks for that.
hoping to be going on quite a few buses before next meet so i think my aim will be to go to bus stop on my own and il have looked at bus times before i go so i know what time the buses are :)
What ever you feel comfortable with, don't push yourself too hard. Set yourself achievable goals. You are under no pressure, take it nice and slow!:yesyes:
im not sure what aims to have????? to be honest.
but i need to do better than last time, as it not acceptable for me to cry again.
im not sure what aims to have????? to be honest.
but i need to do better than last time, as it not acceptable for me to cry again.
There are no do's and don't's, it is acceptable to cry, perhaps that got rid of some of the anxiety that you were holding inside, you are a mere mortal just like the rest of us.
Don't go with any aims in mind, except to enjoy yourself....:)
um um ok.... yeh okay, i must have enjoyed it despite all those things as i cnt wait to meet u all again.
yeh i think i felt better after the crying and managed to stay sat down for rest of time till i went for bus then... i think.... cnt remember now but i still hated and angry at myself for doing it, think it wud have been alright if i did it in secret n then wiped my face etc and then came back out all normal.
You did so well to make it yesterday! It was lovely to meet you :) It was a huge achievement for you and the more things you do like this, the easier it will get. You know us all now so know what to expect next time. Well done! You should be very proud of yourself! :)
you mean i know u all now and how crazy you all are lol.... only joking.... it was good fun.
recycled hippy
05-11-12, 14:13
Hi Gemma
You did great No problem to anyone and thanks for the hugs I really hope you make Bradford Meeting Bradfordians are lovely and understanding people I know you will enjoy your self I remember you as a jolly person laughing so Leeds must have helped continue making the effort.
Love ad peace
Peter
who is going pete?
u remember me as jolly? really.
gosh i used to be so outgoing, wild party girl.... :( i wish.
im trying im trying but cnt even get out of my room today not even to go to toilet :(
i am going to try to get ot bradford meet, but just looking how to get there on internet, plus it wont be in my car, will be hire car :(
vicky been texting me as she going and she mentioned id meet her before we go in, not met her before.
recycled hippy
05-11-12, 15:09
Gemma
It is easy for you to get there by public trasnport. Maybe the way you are feeling it will be safer (and cheaper) for you plus you could have a WKD you naughty girl. Hope you are feelig a bit better.
Love and peace
Peter
easy by public transport to where? leeds? bradford? the bradford one would take me loads of buses..... i dont know where it is near.
um still havent left my room yet sorry
---------- Post added at 15:29 ---------- Previous post was at 15:29 ----------
not sure the wkd drinks on saturday did me any favours.... is is it that i didnt have enough? next time in leeds might drink before i meet and drink when there to get drunk a bit, i dont know.... maybe it might work.
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