Prayers for dad [Archive]

Laura123

06-11-12, 15:18

fozzy is crying

06-11-12, 15:20

Awe Laura,

Both you and your Dad are in my prayers.

:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:

meche

06-11-12, 15:23

I don't know what to say Laura. I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I can only imagine how you must be feeling because if it were either one of my parents I would be distraught. I am thinking of you both, sending huge hugs and saying lots of prayers. xx

maximus1975

06-11-12, 15:26

laura my deepest thoughts are with u hun xx :hugs::hugs:

cmc46

06-11-12, 15:28

I am so sorry to hear your news Laura, I know exactly what you are going through and my heart goes out to both of you, thinking of you :hugs:

Elle-Kay

06-11-12, 15:29

Sending you unimaginable quantities of good thoughts Laura; you, your dad, and your whole family xx

Laura123

06-11-12, 15:35

Thanks guys, I am in tears, just can't stop sobbing. His scan could take 2 hours they said. So more waiting, the kids are making cards for papa to pass the time. Every min feels like an hour, I don't know why I am desperate to know the results, if anything I should be wishing time to stand still. X

maximus1975

06-11-12, 15:41

he beat it once he will do the same again xx

swgrl09

06-11-12, 15:42

I'm so sorry you are gonig through this. My mom's cancer battle was such a difficult time. I will keep him in my thoughts and prayers, and you as well.

MissHDynamite

06-11-12, 15:49

Oh Laura... I am so sorry sweetheart. You know it's hard to know what to say but please know we are all here for you and will support you as much as we possibly can. Sending lots of love to you and please pass it on to all the family too. xxxxx Bigs hugs :hugs: xxxxx

MRS STRESS ED

06-11-12, 15:50

God bless you and your dad you will be in my thoughts and prayers ,lets pray for a good outcome :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Annie0904

06-11-12, 16:50

Laura, I just got back from my physio..I am really sorry about your dads news and sending lots of love and prayers for you and your family :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: xxx

almamatters

06-11-12, 16:51

Sending lots of love to you and your family Laura. :hugs: xxxxx

Laura123

06-11-12, 16:55

Thank you everyone, I really really appreciate it, sorry if it has set anyone's health anxiety off, I didn't mean for that I just needed somewhere to let it out xx

nicola1980

06-11-12, 18:42

sending lots of love and :hugs: xx

maximus1975

06-11-12, 18:42

any news laura from the scan thinking of u xx

fruity

06-11-12, 19:02

My dads cancer is back. They found a tumour in his stomach this time and he is having a scan at this moment to see how bad things are. I am not a religious person but I am praying, I don't know how to cope with this again, it feels almost worse second time round, cancer is ruthless, my dad has been through so much already and he is the most wonderful man who diesnt deserve this, I am angry and don't understand why cancer chooses some and not others. There is a big grey cloud over me and I am heartbroken, life is about to change and I am so scared. X
i am so sorry to hear about your dad. i know exactly what your goin through. my dad had lymphoma (cancer of the blood). diabetis,enlarged spleen,leaking heart valve,one part of his heart was enlarged and hard and he was disabled through his back. his suffering ended in march this year he had a quick heart attack. and me suffering panic and anxiety well it hit me realy hard. at his funreal i thought i was going to callaps.. but you will be very angry. and yes why do bad things happen to good people. my thoughts exactly..... just treasure each day tell him you love him everyday TRY and keep strong. if you want to talk to me through this journey. i,ll be happy to help...xxxxxxxxxxxxxx my dad was 62. how old is you,r dad ,,if you don,t mind me asking.

Sparkle1984

06-11-12, 19:03

I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, Laura. You'll be in my thoughts, hugs to you both. :bighug1:

Laura123

06-11-12, 19:08

Hi guys. It's bad news. Dads tumour is very aggressive. They are starting chemo on Thursday and will watch how it responds. If it shrinks enough they will try to remove it but they said prognosis is poor. I have cried so much I am numb, my dad is only 61. I don't know how to carry on with the normal stuff, you know the kids and school and work I just feel utterly lost and my stomach keeps retching. My poor poor dad. So sorry for such a depressing post guys, thank you for all your prayers, maybey we will get a miracle? X

flossie

06-11-12, 19:10

Sending you, your Dad and your family my very best wishes.
x.

fozzy is crying

06-11-12, 19:12

So sorry Laura but anything I can do you know where I am and do not hesitate to ask and contact me any-time day or night.

Gordon

:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:

nicola1980

06-11-12, 19:15

so sorry to hear this Laura :hugs: am thinking of you and your family xx

Arose

06-11-12, 19:19

So sorry about your sad news Laura :hugs: I'll be thinking of you

Sparkle1984

06-11-12, 19:23

Elle-Kay

06-11-12, 19:29

Oh Laura, I'm so sorry to hear that it's not better news. I'll continue to keep you all in my thoughts, and don't forget that we're here whenever you need us, for anything xx :hugs:

TheGoldenTomato

06-11-12, 20:14

Laura, it happens to the best people doesn't it? I'm sure your dad is a wonderful, kind and clearly very brave man. I've witnessed so many amazing people get unwell and it's heartbreaking. If you ever need anyone to talk to, me or somebody else on this board will listen with a sympathetic ear. Your dad is lucky to have you, y'know. Nothing is better for someone who is ill than to have love of family and/or friends surrounding them. Remember that.

meche

06-11-12, 20:36

I'm so very sorry my darling. You know where I am. You're in my thoughts. Lots of love & hugs.
Michelle
xxx

lizzie29

06-11-12, 21:00

Thinking of you all, so sorry to hear your sad news. X

traciec39

06-11-12, 21:24

Lots of love to you and all your family sweetie xxx

Stay strong xx

ElizabethJane

06-11-12, 22:03

So sorry. Lost my Dad last year so I know it's hard when they are so poorly. I hope that they can do something to help him get well again. EJ

kittikat

06-11-12, 22:10

So sorry to hear your news Laura. You and your dad will be in my thoughts and prayers. Be strong for your dad, he will need you. Sending you lots of love and hoping that you can get through this tough time. We are all here to support you :hugs: xxxx

Laura123

06-11-12, 22:22

Thanks everybody, I keep popping in and reading your messages, I will be strong for dad and I will hold his hand and be his rock and look after him. Anxiety will have to take a back seat for now, I don't have time to waste being scared, I don't know what lies ahead but whatever it is I will cope, what's that saying again, "you are never dealt more than you can handle" you guys are an amazing support to me and I can't thank you enough. X

Annie0904

06-11-12, 22:50

We will be here to support you whatever you have to go through Laura. Your Dad is lucky to have such a lovely sweet daughter to help him through this. It is amazing sometimes how we get the strength when we need it. Big hugs for you :bighug1::bighug1::bighug1: xx

xBettyBoopx

07-11-12, 01:48

So sorry to hear about your dad Laura. Praying for him.

:bighug1::bighug1:for you

Serenitie

07-11-12, 12:24

I have a candle lit for you, your Dad and your family. You are in my thoughts, Laura :hugs:

mimijames

07-11-12, 12:33

So sorry to read this Laura, sending prayers and hugs to you all xxxx :hugs:

Laura123

07-11-12, 12:35

Guys I can't believe all the messages, thank you so much for all your support. Xx

ricardo

07-11-12, 12:41

Laura,

You don't need me to say it but you have overwhelming support on here and if it brings only a little comfort to you, that in itself is something.
Easy to say, but stay strong and in a peculiar way focusing on your Dad might actually make you less anxious even though you are so sad at this moment of time.

Laura123

07-11-12, 12:43

Ricardo you are right, my anxiety has taken a complete back seat, I am driving fine and shopping fine, it's like I have had natures tranquilliser, I am completely calm. It's funny how things work isn't it? X

ricardo

07-11-12, 13:15

Good to hear that Laura. I don't want to over ride your sadness at the moment but we are often our own pyschiatrists, reasonably intelligent, give great advice to others but can't handle our own anxieties. xx

Laura123

07-11-12, 16:45

Yes Ricardo again you are absolutely right, last Xmas I had a really bad spell of anxiety and panic and I got to such s bad point my own system sort of took over, I had cbt in January and my therapist said I had started to give myself cbt without even realising it. X

GunMetal

07-11-12, 20:08

I'm so sorry to read about this Laura. My thoughts are with you and your family and will keep you in my prayers

Jenni xxxx

swgrl09

07-11-12, 21:00

Hi Laura, your story reminds me so much of my own. I am sorry that the prognosis is so poor. When my mom was diagnosed with a rare, aggressive cancer it was horrifying but I had that same exact sense where my own anxiety backed off and i was able to be calm for my family. It was really odd, but got me through the month or so until she passed away. Don't get me wrong, I cried my eyes out when we found out about it and would continue to at times, but it was almost like something switched off in my mind and let me function for the family.

Make sure you get rest, take time for yourself in all of this. I got sick so often because I did not take care of myself. I was always on the go, at the hospital, up late, etc. Take some time for you, as you are no good to your family if you are not well yourself.

:hugs: I am so sorry you are going through this. Keep us posted if you have time.

Laura123

07-11-12, 22:01

Thank you so much, it's funny you should mention getting sick, I usually have quite a good immune system and will start a cold and have it very mild for a day or two then it disappears, I started coughing a few days ago and tonight I am full of the cold and coughing and feel rubbish, hope it goes quick, I am staying away from dad just now so I don't pass it to him, he has no spleen so his immune system is already compromised. Off to the pharmacy for vitamin c tomorrow I think. I spoke to my younger sister tonight and was really upset to hear she has been having palpitations and panic attacks the past few weeks, I knew nothing about this, but I was able to be the strong one and give her advice, she is 14 years younger than me and I worry so much about how she is coping. My little boy is 9, he wanted to phone papa tonight to wish him luck for his laparoscopy tomorrow, it made me chuckle when I heard him say "papa I really hope they don't find a baby in your belly button tomorrow" I could actually hear my dads roar of laughter down the phone. It was a lovely and funny moment which was so needed x

Annie0904

07-11-12, 22:06

Aww Laura that is a lovely little story about you son talking to your dad :) Your poor sister too going through this anxiety...she has a lovely big sister to help her :hugs::hugs::hugs: xx

Laura123

07-11-12, 22:15

Thank you Annie x she was wedding dress shopping today, she gets married next July, she didn't want to go today but we made her, she found "the dress" and text me a picture if her in it, she looked like a princess, I hope and pray dad is with us for her big day, the thought of my family together celebrating and being happy seems like an impossible thing right now. My brother is with dad tonight, they are funny their guitars t

---------- Post added at 22:15 ---------- Previous post was at 22:12 ----------

Oops lol. They are tuning their guitars together, men are odd! X

Annie0904

07-11-12, 22:25

My daughter has asked me to go with her to a wedding exhibition in January, she is planning to get married in 2014. That is lovely that your sister has found her dress and it is something positive for her to focus on and for you all to look forward to the wedding. xx

Laura123

07-11-12, 22:43

I know Annie it is a lovely positive happy thing for us all to look forward to. I am going to be a bridesmaid and my daughter a flower girl, she is so excited. I could see the dress thing far enough to be honest lol, I have never been one for dresses, more of a jeans and jumper girl but I suppose it will be nice to be dressed up for a change. X

---------- Post added at 22:43 ---------- Previous post was at 22:41 ----------

2014 Annie, your foot will definatley be healed by then! :) x

Elle-Kay

07-11-12, 22:47

I wear jeans & t-shirts/jumpers/hoodies with trainers most of the time, but I like to dress up occasionally when the occasion calls for it. I once read a novel where one of the characters said "The more miserable one is on the inside, the more important it is to decorate the outside", and it stuck with me because even though maybe sounds a bit shallow at first I think it actually has some truth in it. I certainly sometimes find that if I do make the effort to do my hair differently/put my jewellery on/wear a skirt & heels I stand taller, and feel a bit better about myself.

Laura123

07-11-12, 22:52

That is very true Leah. I am a casual dresser but you will never see me without my lipgloss on and my hair done, I get that from mum, it's a cardinal sin to not have a face on lol. When I had my son I was quite ill after my section and lost a lot of blood, my mum was phoning the hospital constantly for updates and the nurse said " laura has sat up and asked for her make up bag and is applying lipgloss as we speak" mum said she burst into tears and knew I was going to be fine "that's my girl" lol x

Elle-Kay

07-11-12, 22:55

I have to admit to being lazy when it comes to make-up - I only wear a full face if I'm going out to something special (or if I know I'm going to be photographed!), and if it's somewhere less special (e.g. dancing) I just do my eyes.

Of course at all times I imagine myself as looking like Vivien Leigh in my profile piccy :winks: :roflmao:

Laura123

07-11-12, 22:57

Lol lol that made me laugh x

Elle-Kay

07-11-12, 22:58

If you'd seen a photo of me you'd laugh even harder at that statement, trust me lol I look nothing like the lovely Vivien!

Laura123

07-11-12, 23:03

I have seen you, remember the labyrinth picture, you are beautiful insuse and out you daft mare! Xx

Elle-Kay

07-11-12, 23:05

Oh yeah, I'd forgotten that I posted that! And it was all of a week ago.... lol My poor memory.

Annie0904

08-11-12, 09:47

Leah your 'normal' photos are nothing like the scary Halloween one! You are beautiful inside and out..with or without make up :) xx

Angelica

08-11-12, 10:20

So sorry to hear about your dad... Sending you lots of love and positive energy from Australia.xxxx:hugs:Hope he will be ok... My bro is going in for surgery tomorrow for PC.....

mandie

08-11-12, 12:53

So sorry to hear about you dad.

My dad had a very agressive cancer in his stomach which came back after 6 months of him finishing chemo. 3 years on and he is still with us.

my anxiety seemed to take a back seat while he was ill and it just seemed to disappear.

sending you prayers and a hug

love mandie xx

Laura123

08-11-12, 12:59

Laura123

09-11-12, 15:11

Hi everyone. It's not good at all, just keeps getting worse. Dads cancer is inoperable and has metastasised. They have given us 9 precious months, just a wild guess I think. They put a stent in to help him swallow, I am utterly lost and just devastated. My poor wonderful dad x

fozzy is crying

09-11-12, 15:27

So sorry to hear you latest news Laura. I am praying all the time for your Dad, you and your family.

:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:
:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:

Gordon

Elle-Kay

09-11-12, 15:58

Laura I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I don't suppose anything I can say will make things any better, but know that we're all here for you, whatever you need :hugs:

Tony52

09-11-12, 16:38

Laura So sorry to hear this latest news.My thoughts and prayers are for your dad and you and your family.

Candy6

09-11-12, 17:12

So sorry to hear your latest news. You and your family are in my thoughts. Take care xx

almamatters

09-11-12, 17:19

Oh Laura, My thoughts are with you at this time. I can't really say anymore I know. sending you love and :hugs:

ElizabethJane

09-11-12, 17:19

Bless you. I know it is hard the process that you are going through at the moment Laura. Try to stay strong there is much support and prayers for you and your Dad here. EJ

ricardo

09-11-12, 17:28

Laura,

It mabe of little comfort to hear your sad news but it is remarkable how many people on here are feeling for you at this very moment .I know it is easy to say, but try and stay strong.

Annie0904

09-11-12, 17:42

:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:xxx

Laura123

09-11-12, 18:09

Thank you everyone, I was with dad today, feel better for seeing him, his stent is making him sick every few mins and he is so exhausted, they said it will take a week or so to settle down. They want to start chemo in 2 weeks time, they are hoping it will buy him some time. Thank you so much for all your prayers and messages you guys are amazing and your support is overwhelming, if you can, keep dad in your prayers x

Annie0904

09-11-12, 18:13

Will keep your dad and all your family in my prayers Laura. I don't go to church but my oldest son does and I will ask him to put you on the prayer list that they have in their church. xxx

maximus1975

09-11-12, 18:17

laura my thoughts are with u hun ive been through it with my dad its not nice to say the least nothing i can say will make it any better but i am thinking of you stay as strong as u possibly can xx:hugs::hugs:

Frightened_guy

09-11-12, 18:20

This is very sad news i really hope your OK!

cancer is very ruthless and its a horrible condition the main thing i hope for your dad is that he's pain free and comfortable and being well looked after!

There is plenty of support just reach out and get it! x

Laura123

09-11-12, 22:22

I can't believe how dazed I feel, I just feel like I am in a horrible dream, one min I am smiling thinking of all the funny happy times and then the next min the tears are streaming down my face. I am forgetting what I am saying half way through. I hate that they gave us 9 months, what a vile burden, there is this horrible panicky feeling of time ticking away and there is nothing I can do to slow it down. How do you cope when you are told this, I just can't seem to get my head around it. My gp wants me to double my sertraline but I can't do that right now, I can't cope with side effects at the min, he gave me sleeping pills, they worked last night. My mind has raced for days I just can't stop thinking, it's so exhausting. Xx

panickyme

09-11-12, 22:49

Aww Laura, honey, I don't even know what to say to you! My heart is breaking for you. Please just know we are here for you, and whatever, whatever we can do to help, please let us know. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.:hugs:Debbi

Elle-Kay

09-11-12, 22:50

Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel Laura. Bottling anything up or fighting against it will only lead to more exhaustion. You're allowed to feel everything you're feeling, and you're allowed to react in whatever way you need to at the time x

Laura123

09-11-12, 22:54

When I went in today I was so scared I would cry as soon as I saw him, I just sat down on his bed and lay my head on his knee and kissed his hand, he could only manage 20 mins, the McMillan nurse sat with us and we talked about everything but dad was really struggling being sick, he wanted me to go, didn't want me to see him like that, it's just all so so hard x

panickyme

09-11-12, 23:45

Awwww Laura, I wish I could fly over there, and give you a hug! I am so sorry for you. I read your post, and I cry with you. Nothing I can do will take that pain away, but if you need a friend, I will be here for you.:hugs:Debbi

Laura123

10-11-12, 00:25

Thank you Debbie, I am just having a low night, feeling sorry for myself which annoys me. I took my sleeping pill 3 hours ago and it doesn't seem to have worked like last night. Tomorrow is a new day and I will grasp it and be more positive x

Liziik

10-11-12, 00:32

:hugs: Hi Laura, I have been reading the posts and I just don't know what to say hun I cried with you to, I'm so sorry, im sending love and prayers to you, your dad and your family...were all here for you if you need us <3

AuntieMoosie

10-11-12, 00:42

:hugs:Hello Laura,
I'm so very sorry to hear your sad news hun. I can only imagine what you're going through.
I will say prayers for your Dad and for you hun.
Just remember hun, that all of us here at NMP will be thinking of you and we are always here to listen and support you hun.
Sending you hugs :bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:

panickyme

10-11-12, 01:27

You are soooooooo allowed to feel sorry for yourself, you are going through one of the hardest things in life right now. I can't stop thinking about you across that ocean. I actually logged off, and had to get back on to make sure you didn't need a friend. Again I know I can't do to much, but I am with you. Sending you the biggest hug!:bighug1:Debbi ( I hope that darn pill kicks in, and you can try to get some rest, I know it's hard though, when your mind is racing) (what time is it over there, are you up all night?)

swgrl09

10-11-12, 02:36

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

Laura123

10-11-12, 10:00

Thanks Debbie x it's 10am, I just phoned the hospital, no change, he is still being sick, they have an iv in now to give fluids thank god, I asked them to do that when I left the hospital yesterday. They said dad doesn't want any visitors today, that's hard to hear, we all just want to be by his side but we have to give him his space and respect him. I will phone hospital again in a few hours. Thank you for being here for me everyone, you don't know how grateful I am to have everyone listening to me xx

Annie0904

10-11-12, 10:10

I am pleased they have given your dad the iv to feed him. He will be exhausted with being sick so much and I think he will probably just want to catch up on sleep today. He knows you are all there for him and that will be comforting for him. He has your lovely text messages to read through too :) Lots of big hugs for you and your family :bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bigh ug1: xx

meche

10-11-12, 10:32

:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1: xxxx

Em.ma

10-11-12, 10:49

:bighug1: my thoughts are with you and your family x

Laura123

10-11-12, 11:16

Thanks guys x I am going to finish my cup of tea and get the beds stripped and get some shopping in, I told my sister to get out and do something today, we need to stop crucifying ourselves and stop moping, he would be so mad if he saw us like this. So I will get busy, I will let you know later when I speak to hospital. Xxxx

panickyme

10-11-12, 11:47

Laura, you are sooooooooooooo strong. (he would be so proud of you) I'm so glad they gave him an iv. That will help him so much. Did you get any sleep? :hugs: Debbi

Laura123

10-11-12, 12:04

Yes thanks Debbie, I fell asleep eventually xxx

panickyme

10-11-12, 12:11

Good job!:winks: you need to get rest, or you are going to fall apart. (one good thing about me being over here is when your sleeping, I am up, so I will be here all night long for you) Have to take my 16 yr. old out to practice driving today, but I will check back as soon as I get back. I will thinking of you, and your family.:hugs:

Laura123

10-11-12, 17:26

Hospital say dad has not been sick for 3 hours, a nurse accidentally left ice cream in his room and he accidentally ate it :) and kept it down :) they have had to put a catheter in, said he can't urinate, don't know what that's all about? Any ideas? X

Annie0904

10-11-12, 17:29

Will pm you about that one Laura xxx

Laura123

10-11-12, 17:30

Please do Annie x

Elle-Kay

10-11-12, 18:45

I'm sure Annie has already given you a proper explanation Laura, but when my Dad was in hospital he had a Catheter in for most of the time too and it was because they needed to test his urine regularly (and also because he wasn't very mobile, with the pain he was in).

Good news about the accidental ice cream :)

Annie0904

10-11-12, 18:52

I could do with finding some accidental chocolates..I bought some for Christmas presents today...I could always eat them and buy some more :) xx

Elle-Kay

10-11-12, 18:58

It's amazing how many nice things accidentally fall into my mouth actually...

Which reminds me, look what I just found on Facebook! :D
http://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/391687_113087115508060_1569251561_n.jpg

fozzy is crying

10-11-12, 19:17

Gosh Elle,

How beautiful!!!! I have never seen anything like that before.

I thought re sweet I had seen it all but apparently not. My Dad was heavily involved in the sweet industry, and was responsible for developing a lot of the biggest sweet names we still know today.

Gordon

Annie0904

10-11-12, 19:28

They look amazing Leah but you have now made the temptation even greater for me :)

---------- Post added at 19:28 ---------- Previous post was at 19:28 ----------

I must stop staring at them

Elle-Kay

10-11-12, 19:53

I'm seriously thinking of ordering one for Christmas - the company making them is only in one of the next villages to me :D

Annie0904

10-11-12, 19:58

You are so talented Leah that I am sure you could make them yourself x

katyjohnstone

10-11-12, 21:36

i would like to pass on my best wishes to you and your familt i pray all goes well for your dad take care

Laura123

10-11-12, 22:24

Dad went 4 hours without being sick, oh guys fingers crossed he is turning a corner now. He has been reading all my texts but he still isn't replying, I can wait, he will eventually, he doesn't want visitors today or tomorrow, but again, it's ok, I can wait till he is ready. The nurse said that if he is still having spells of sickness by Tuesday they are going back in to see what's going on. The problems with urinating are apparently common after surgery, they think it will resolve soon. Fozzy my great grandfather was John lee, you know lees macaroon, and lees snowballs? X

fozzy is crying

10-11-12, 22:29

Laura123

10-11-12, 22:32

fozzy is crying

10-11-12, 22:35

Thank you Gordon. I appreciate that. Nothing really to tell about him, he was actually my grandfathers step father, my grampa never liked him and he offered him a place in the business, my grampa declined ( what a silly man) and lees macaroon and snowballs in Scotland are huge now. Lol. Damn it!!!! X

Will have to look about it as you might have seen my Dad [God rest his soul] did so much in the sweet line but died poor while those he worked for made actual billions.

Gordon

Elle-Kay

10-11-12, 22:48

Any progress is good progress Laura. Fingers crossed for more of the same tomorrow :)

I don't want to sound like I'm always banging on about it, because in reality my Dad's hospital stay was quite routine, but when he was there I wrote him a silly spoof letter to cheer him up & pass the time. I was disappointed at first when he read it & didn't seem interested, but Mum said to give him time as he wasn't getting a lot of sleep in the hospital, and he did come round and say that he liked it after a day or so (and was even showing it round the consultants - and having to explain half the jokes as their first language wasn't English, but that's beside the point!) Anyway, my point is that your attitude about your texts is the right one I think - you know that your Dad is seeing them, and he knows you're with him in spirit, and in time he'll be ready to reply, and have visitors I'm sure x

panickyme

11-11-12, 02:24

Laura, thats good news! Very positive. Just checking in on you!:hugs:

Laura123

11-11-12, 18:16

Dad is home!!!!!! He got home at tea time, he is eating and not being sick. So we have a few weeks to build him up and then we start chemo. He is having probs with his speech, don't know why? Perhaps they damaged a nerve or something when they put the stent it. It's like his bottom jaw is loose and his tongue is swollen. X

Elle-Kay

11-11-12, 18:18

Good news that he's home :D Could his tongue being swollen be to with the amount he has vomited over the past few days do you think? Like the gastric acids have irritated the tissue or something? x

Laura123

11-11-12, 18:20

Perhaps? I don't know? It's odd, but that could be why, I will speak to his Mcmillan nurse about it in a few days if its still the same x

Annie0904

11-11-12, 18:24

Pleased that your dad is home Laura, I am sure he will feel much more comfortable at home. :bighug1:xx

maximus1975

11-11-12, 18:46

great to hear your dad is home laura xxx:hugs::hugs:

almamatters

11-11-12, 18:51

Yes just repeating above, glad your dad is home Laura xxxx :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

AuntieMoosie

11-11-12, 19:24

I'm so glad to hear your Dad is back home Laura :)
Prayers still being said for all of you :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Laura123

11-11-12, 20:33

Thanks everyone :) I am so happy he is home. A few more days and I am hoping to see my dad be more like himself, still very quiet, saying its uncomfortable to talk, still bad nausea and painfull hiccups but I am sure all that will settle. Just so glad he is out of hospital x

Annie0904

11-11-12, 20:47

I think the irritation with him talking will be with having the stent put in and hopefully the soreness will go soon and it will be easier for him to talk. Lots of hugs for you :hugs::hugs::hugs: xxx

Laura123

12-11-12, 20:02

Oh guys what a day. Dad has completely shut us all out and has just given up completely. We phoned the district nurse and she is sending McMillan nurses to him tomorrow morning to try and pull him out of it. My sister just phoned, she had to rush him to a&e his wound on his stonach has opened and he was bleeding, now pacing the floors again waiting fir news, I don't know how much more I can take, my anxiety has set back in today and I really don't need that right now. X

Annie0904

12-11-12, 20:23

Laura, I was just thinking about you, that must be so difficult and worrying for you. I can only assume that he doesn't want his girls to see him in this way. If you need to chat please call me. Lots of hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: x

Laura123

12-11-12, 20:32

Thanks Annie xxxx I have been so nauseated since last night, I think it's anxiety, I feel sick, shaky, uneasy and restless. X

Annie0904

12-11-12, 20:38

It does sound like anxiety Laura and I am not surprised. I think maybe you should go to see your doctor and let him know what is going on at the moment xx

ricardo

12-11-12, 20:41

Bless laura,

Thinking of you xx

Annie0904

12-11-12, 20:44

I wish we lived closer Laura so that I could help you more, call me anytime though, day or night :hugs::hugs::hugs: xxx

Laura123

12-11-12, 20:45

I saw him Annie, he told me to double my ssri and gave me sleeping tablets. I don't want to up my ssri just now because I can't cope with the heightened anxiety sude effects right now, oh I don't know, maybey I should, I just feel I need my wits about me right now, I can't cope with all this and then the added distress of upping meds :( x

Annie0904

12-11-12, 20:55

Maybe instead of doubling them to start with, you could just up the dose a little bit until you get used to it? I have upped mine by 25mg but mine are not ssri's. Bless you, you have so much to cope with. :hugs::hugs: xx

mandie

12-11-12, 23:11

Mandie thank you that is very encouraging, did your dads tumour go with the chemo? My dads surgeon has said they will try chemo to shrink it but because it's so aggressive the outlook was poor, I have been feeling a bit negative abd hopeless about the chemo but your post just perked me up x

---------- Post added at 12:59 ---------- Previous post was at 12:59 ----------

How is your dad now? X

sorry for the late reply, yes dads tumour went with chemo. the second time it came back the doctors only gave him a 20% chance of him surviving and offered him pallative care. The his consultant said as he was otherwise a fit man, he should be given a chance.

He was on 24 hour chemo and was so ill. A few times we thought this was it, but he surprised us all and totally amazed the doctors when his scan showed the lymphoma had gone.

Dad is doing ok thank you, a few other problems but not related to the cancer.

I always think if my dad can get through what he did, then anyone can. He spent 6 months in the hospital the first time he was diagnosed.

How is your dad doing?

mandie xx

Laura123

12-11-12, 23:47

Thanks mandie. Sadly dads cancer is inoperable, it has spread to the outer layers and they have given him a life expectancy of 9 months. They are going to give chemo but only as pallative care in the hope the cancer will respond and it will buy us some time. Dad is still in shock and struggling to accept it as are the rest of us. It's a cruel cruel disease, dad fought it 5 years ago, he had a tumour in his esophagus and he had major surgery which was successful, it's in his stomach this time. It's always encouraging to hear a good cancer story, if that's the right word, never good really but I mean a positive inspiring story. And I guess you just never know, we may get a miracle, the thing I want most, more than anything, is for him not to be scared and not to feel alone. I hope your dad continues to do well and beats the crap out of it xxxx

swgrl09

13-11-12, 14:12

Oh Laura, I feel for you so much and am so sad that you have to go through this. I felt all those things you are describing with my mom. Cancer is a cruel disease and I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I hope you manage to take time for yourself ... take vitamins, eat healthy, keep your immune system up, you will get through this. I would say get sleep, but I know when people told me that I still was up all night worrying. :hugs: :hugs:

Laura123

13-11-12, 14:45

Dad has agreed to let me go to him tomorrow and stay over with him, thank god, finally I can spend some time with him, I am going to do some cooking, fill his freezer with healthy nourishing food that he can swallow easily. His cat is ill now would you believe!!!!! He has lost 1/4 body weight and the vet has kept him in for blood tests. It's almost laughable, what else can the man upstairs chuck at us? X

Annie0904

13-11-12, 15:01

Life just doesn't seem fair Laura, some people seem to sail through life with hardly any problems and others get it all in one go :hugs::hugs::hugs: xx

MissHDynamite

13-11-12, 15:21

Hello Everyone! So sorry that I haven't caught up with you all lately and given my support. My internet kept logging me off!!

Have had a read through and Laura I am so sorry to hear the news about your dad. I didn't want to say when we first found out as I didnt want to erase the hope you have but I went through it with my mum, so I know exactly what your going through. It is incredibly hard but you will be ok :hugs:I don't know if you have already upped your tabs but I think the same as you.. you really dont need the heightened anxiety at the moment so up it slowly. Pleased to hear your going to stay with him tomorrow.. that will be lovely to spend some time together. A little tip is to get him some of those boiled lollies on sticks (is it chupa chups). It will give him a bit of taste and help with dry mouth xx

panickyme

14-11-12, 02:15

Laura, I am so glad you are going to go spend time with him. I think you will feel a lot better being able to do something for him, instead of just wondering about him. Enjoy him Laura, Hug him, I know you love him soooooooo much, you are such a great daughter my heart is breaking for you. I am praying for a miracle over here for your family Hang in there stay strong, you are doing such a great job.:hugs:Debbi (MissH I missed you, glad you're back)

meche

14-11-12, 09:45

:bighug1:. Hope you have a lovely time with your dad today. Time is precious so look after each other...... pussycat included! xx

mandie

14-11-12, 19:58

Laura123

15-11-12, 21:31

hi everyone, got home this afternoon from Dad's, i had imagined i would feel better being with him, but it was just so difficult, Dad is not talking about it unless prompted to do so, and he is very ...... grumpy and snappy, and quite cutting to be honest, but i know he is in pain inside and i am trying to think that even anger is still emotion and thats a good sign he is going through the process of accepting, so i suppose i just need to take it on the chin for now. He is still being very sick, and wasnt really eating. So ....... Laura kickied his butt, i scrubbed the house, went shopping, filled the fridge with things he can eat, did his ironing, cut his toe nails, kept talking to him even though he was ignoring mne most of the time, made him get showered and dressed today, there were some moments that were so awkward, things that you say in the passing not meaning to cause offence, but suddenly you realise there are so many things you cant talk about when someone has had the news that Dad has, you know the ordinary stuff that you chat about suddenly seems so painfull. By the time i left i had him eating rusks in warm milk, weetabix, jelly and carnation milk and soup, and he kept it down, so thats good. I also drove there and back, alone, i had a big panic attack on the way up, felt terrified, i havent drove that far since june so i faced some fears which is good. My sister has decided to move her wedding from july to january ........ yes, i said january!!!!! So lots and lots to do, we are trying to time it so that the wedding is during his week off of chemo. Tell me this gets easier xxx

Annie0904

15-11-12, 21:45

Hi Laura, MissH and I were just wondering how you are doing. Your Dad has a very special daughter to help him out. Your sister will feel better to have her wedding earlier even though it is going to be a rush for you all to get organised. I lost my uncle to cancer a couple of years ago and he had never married and had no children so I was the one who took care of him. I was perfect in his eyes but when he got the worst news he got a bit angry with me sometimes which he had never done before. I was quite upset at first but realised that it was part of his coping strategy and he was bound to go through various changes in his moods with what he was going through. Well done on the drive there and back..it is amazing what we can do sometimes when we know we just have to. :hugs::hugs::hugs: xx

Laura123

15-11-12, 21:54

aw thank you annie xxx Its the silly things that you say that seem to sting, dads boiler was making a funny noise and i asked him if he had phoned his cover plan to fix it, he snapped at me "whats the bloody point" i felt awful, and then i was googling for info on his stent, he keeps having painful contractions in his oesophagus and i asked him if the stent was in his oesophagas or his stomach and i got "do i look like a bloody surgeon" i know he doesnt mean it, my Dad has never so much as shouted at me in my whole life, but i would be lying of i said it didnt sting a bit, but i forgive him, he cant help his emotions right now. Dad is usually affectionate, but he wasnt at all this time, i only got to hug him and kiss him when i arrived and when i left, that was hard because all i wanted to do was crawl on the sofa like i did as a little girl, and stuggle my head in under his arm and on to his chest, i feel so down and i miss his laugh so much, i dont know if i will ever hear him laugh again now, i hope and pray he finds his way to cope soon, i want my Dad back xx

Annie0904

15-11-12, 22:08

My uncle lived 45 mins away from me and he shouted at me one day because I said I would go on the evening but he got confused and said he had been waiting all day for me, it really upset me but I blamed it on his illness because it wasn't him. It sounds like your dad is finding it hard to accept at the moment and I can only imagine that it will be so hard to take in. I think you said the Macmillan nurses are going to see him and they are really good and will help him to accept and plan things. Oh Laura, Helen and I were just saying we wished we lived closer to you so we could help you out more, I feel so helpless seeing you go through this but you know we are hear to listen and support you :hugs::hugs::hugs: xx

Laura123

15-11-12, 22:37

The nurses went in today after I had left. I don't know what they discussed, my sister asked him abd he just put his hand up to silence her. I don't even know why they can't operate, I don't know why they can't take his stomach away, why they can't do more, I need to know, maybey I could accept it easier if I understood. I hate cancer, it's evil, it rips people open and steals them away. X

Annie0904

15-11-12, 22:50

The Macmillan nurses will give support to carers as well Laura, Do you think it would help you to contact them so that you have someone to talk to about it and ask questions? You are right it is an evil thing Laura xx

Laura123

15-11-12, 22:55

I will phone his McMillan nurse tomorrow, I need answers. Thanks Annie xxxx

swgrl09

16-11-12, 13:53

I am so sorry about this. His anger is not directed at you although it is so hard to see him that way ... he is going through his own grieving stages as well.

When my mom had her cancer, it was at this time of year as well. I remember we had to be so firm with her to eat and drink water and she hated it and would get very angry with us. She also was in a lot of pain, and I remember feeling quite powerless because we could not help no matter what we did. It is so hard and I am so sorry you are going through this stressful and awful time.

Em.ma

24-11-12, 11:24

Was thinking about you hope your ok xx :)

Laura123

07-12-12, 08:47

Hi guys, thought I would post an update on dad, his mcmillan nurse put a driver into his stomach 2 days ago to administer an anti spasm drug for his esophagus, so far it has helped so much thank god, he is able to sleep for about 5 hours instead of 1 so that's brilliant. Dad started his chemo last Thursday, he is actually doing well on it, the only side effect so far is feeling very tired, they said hair loss would happen about 3 weeks in. I think dad is coping a bit better now with the horrible reality, we are having more "normal" conversations which is lovely, but in my mind cancer is there, hiding behind every word, every cuddle, every smile, it's a horrible evil disease, it steals people from you. Dad has decided to buy himself a triumph tr4 as a Xmas present, his voice lights up every time he speaks about it which is so lovely, he deserves something to look forward to. Thanks again everyone for your lovely messages, they mean so much xxxx

cmc46

07-12-12, 11:05

Hi Laura,

I hope the medication helps your Dad to continue to make good progress, a friend of mine had cancer of the lymph glands and two years ago he was going through some tough chemo, today at times I even forget what he has been through, he looks as well as he did before he got the cancer which was quite advanced when they found it and this year him and his wife have been having a good time holidaying in their camper van, I hope your Dad gets to get the TR4 and has many more years enjoying it. xx

Laura123

07-12-12, 12:32

Thank you :) xx

joebloggs

07-12-12, 13:53

Hi.Laura. Our prayers and thoughts are with you. Can I suggest something since you talk about prayer. There is an organisation, a charity, that offers prayers for people in trouble. They have chapels in which they pray and you pray at home at the same time. They do not charge but accept donations. You are not asked for anything. They are religious but not pushy. You do not necessarilly have to be a 'believer'. They do help people in need and are not intrusive. They are
"The Seekers Trust" Their phone number is 01732 843589. You will find them understanding and helpful.
Bless you; our prayers and love go with you. joe.