Advice and help please :-(

[Charlee123]

Hello
My names charlotte im 26 and live with my husband and our two children.
I suffered PND after my first child was born and went on citalopram. That didnt do me any good. I then wnt on fluoxetine but came off them 6 weeks ago due to side effects. Im now on week 5 of setraline for supposed anxiety which i dont belive i have. I worry that im seriously ill with a brain tumour or im going to forget people/places. I find myself going over people names and numbers/letters and even days of the week as i need to constantly reassure myself that im not goin to forget things.
I have been back and forth to doctors who have assured me im not ill but have depression and anxiety but i cant accept it.
I feel weird all the time and randomly get butterflies in my tummy which causes panic! I hate it. Ive only been like this for 6 weeks and setraline and propranalol arent helping. Ive been on 100mg for 2 days now as doctor said 50mg wasnt enough.
Am i going mad? Why cant i relax? I cry randomly, i keep thinking my kids wont have a mum soon as im going to die of a brain tumour. Any ache or pain in my head/face/neck i cry over as i think its spread down my spine. Please help me. Am i the only one who has to constantly go over things in my head and does anyone else fear forgetting things or loosing their memory?

:'-(

[nomorepanic]

Hi Charlee123

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[Annie0904]

Hi Charlee and :welcome: So sorry you are going through all this at the moment but be assured you are not alone. You will see on a few threads that people have posted about memory loss and I am forgetting things all the time at the moment. Anxiety really affects concentration which also affects memory. I can relate to the crying to but try to think positive..you can overcome this. You are taking different medication to me so I can't really comment on that but I am sure someone else will. Has your doctor referred you for any counseling? This may be helpful to you. Sending you :hugs: x

[Hope73]

:welcome:

[Charlee123]

Thanks for the warm welcome. I still cant accept anything thou, tpday has been awful and just feel contantly on edge and feel really alone even thou im with my mum and sister. I panic at the thought i will never get better and it is something the doctors havent picked up. :(

[fozzy is crying]

:welcome:
:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:

[Serenitie]

:welcome: Charlee. I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing such a distressing time right now. As painful as it is, it is completely normal. I have worked with a lot of Mums who experience post natal depression. Pregnancy and childbirth have a huge impact on your body and hormones. Having children increases our awareness of our own mortality and increases our nurturing instincts which cause many fears including those which you are experiencing.

Try to shift your focus from your anxieties to healthy pursuits and interaction with your children and husband. Enjoy your family life. Go for walks with your family (which will increase your serotonin levels and reduce anxiety), have bubble baths with your children and lots of quality time together.

Memory can decrease post pregnancy and with anxiety but the less you focus on it, the more it will improve and will not be so problematic. Wishing you well. Cat :bighug1:

[Elle-Kay]

Welcome to NMP :) I'm sorry you're having a rough time of it at the moment. A lot of what you posted does sound incredibly like anxiety, even to an untrained eye. Perhaps try having a read of the pages about anxiety here (links on the left there) and see how much you relate to? Lots of people here have diagnosed themselves with all sorts of horrible illnesses over the years the site has been active, but as far as I know every one of them has been incorrect, which should be a small comfort :)

[Charlee123]

@serenitie. My children are 4 and 3. The anxiety has only begun 6 weeks ago. I dont get why. Maybe i have a brain tumour thats making me this way? All doctors have examined me and told me im fine. I cant accept it and its ruining my life. Im sat here with my kids crying as i watch them play because i see myself dead ad they have no mummy.

[quercus robur]

Hi , you mention you cannot accept you have anxiety /depression , let me assure you you have and once you do accept, the road to recovery will be winged , understanding and acceptance are the magical keys you need ,simple (yes) easy (no) please be assured further down the line you will face very human feelings as these although you will feel more aloof from them as you understand them and accept them

"dont let your thoughts cast a shadow over the moon of your heart, let go of thinking" xx

[MRS STRESS ED]

Thanks for the warm welcome. I still cant accept anything thou, tpday has been awful and just feel contantly on edge and feel really alone even thou im with my mum and sister. I panic at the thought i will never get better and it is something the doctors havent picked up. :(

you need to accept its anxiety ,if you start to believe it is and that its nothing more sinister you can get threw it ,its very hard work but it can be done and you wouldnt believe what anxiety can do to you best of luck xxxxxxxxxxxxxx:hugs:

[Charlee123]

Im just sat here in floods of tears

[PanicYeNot]

Hey Charlee
It's very hard when you have anxiety to accept that's what it is and you do start imagining you have all sorts of horrible and serious illnesses, I suspect most if not all of the people on here have been thru this, I know I have! Believe us when we say that when you accept that is anxiety and keep telling yourself this it's all about teaching your mind to react differently to it. If you have only just started the Sertraline it will take a few weeks to kick in, I have only recently started it too and def felt worse in the first week but am getting there gradually. Can I ask if you started on 100mg straight away? It's just that I was on 100mg for a couple of weeks and it was too much too soon with awful side effects so dropped to 50mg and the side effects haven't been as bad. Happy for you to PM me if you need to. :hugs:

[MRS STRESS ED]

Im just sat here in floods of tears

Charlee I really feel for you, I no how bad it can get I think you could do with going back to your gp ,I was like you its awful my gp sorted cbt thearpy for me im getting better i still have my bad days dont get me wrong ,its along road ahead but you can do it xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:bighug1:

[quercus robur]

i first suffered anxiety 15 years ago and thought i had brain tumours , cancer , i was going mad , i was evil , in fact i thought alot of thoughts that i can assure you could make your blood curdle , here iam 15 years later no brain tumour , no cancer or any other sinister illness just a genuine human being making my way in this somewhat crazy world of bull shit, no wonder we sometimes loose our way , oh and there aint nothing better than a good cry :D

---------- Post added at 17:53 ---------- Previous post was at 17:46 ----------

i started taking sertraline 15 years ago and recall the side affects as did not sleep for a couple of nights ,the shits , anxiety , bad dreams etc which dissapeared after a few days or so , in my experiance sertraline took around 3 weeks to feel any benefit but fully 6 months to feel i was on top again, a good pill as far as i was concerned

[Serenitie]

Charlee,
you are a young woman and have been examined and found to have no physical health problems. Did anything happen in your life to trigger your anxiety? Have you tried counselling or CBT? Once you accept that you have anxiety it is much easier to understand and manage :hugs:

[Charlee123]

Yep! Lol sounds familiar. I remember at the age of 10 suffering from a period of feeling not with it. It lasted 2 weeks but i told no body as i was scared. It went, then came back a year later. I became scared it was a brain tumour. Then my vision went funny but my eyes are fine. I developed tinnitus aswell. A neurologist said i have migraines but i still dont believe it and i was told that 6 years ago. I now have anxiety and its basically fear that i have a tumour and no ones telling me it is. Like im going to die soon as its too big to remove. I have a pain in my head as i speak that came on tonight. I no deep down if i had one for thi long id be dead by now but i cant accept it. Arggh driving me nuts.
Doc said i can have cbt once i have become less anxious. I thought thats what the cbt is for lol

[starlight78]

Charlee, you need to keep telling yourself that your symptoms are depression and health anxiety, nothing else. Depression is common, brain tumours are not!
Please get to your GP for treatment. Health anxiety responds really well to CBT x x

[Charlee123]

I went to doctors and i have signed up to italk for cbt x