Speeding fine!

[little scientist]

I apologise if this comes across as silly, or a bit trivial but after doing so well recently and preparing myself for a return to work, I took a few steps back yesterday and had a bad night with anxiety.

Basically yesterday on the way home from lunch out with a friend, I am 99% sure I got caught speeding (he was pointing the device right at me, no other cars around, and when I checked I was doing 40 in a 30). I was so angry and annoyed with myself for letting it happen, but using my cbt I am trying to tell myself positive things.

Despite that though I had an awful unsettled night with my anxiety. Up and down to go to the loo, restless.....

I had been doing so well recently, had prepared for my return to work tomorrow which I was actually looking forward to and planning things I could get started on, and then this happens to knock me back :( if I haven't calmed down by the end of today I may have to be signed off work again as I can't go back in this state.

[Annie0904]

Little scientist I know this happened 10 days ago and if you have been fined you will know about it by now. What I am about to say is in no way directed at you as I am sure you have learnt your lesson and will be more careful in future.

Richie your attitude on this has really upset me...saying that it is cool to have speeding points and that it is part of life. I am sorry but it is not part of life especially for the 9 year old daughter of one of my friends who was left brain damaged by someone who thought it was cool to drive over the speed limit and also for many others whose lives have been ruined by people who think it is 'cool' to speed!

[Elle-Kay]

I have to agree with Annie. As she said, my message here is not specifically directed at the original poster, who I'm sure will be more careful of their speed in future. Rather this is directed at the irresponsible attitude displayed by many drivers, and voiced here by Richie.

I have been driving for over 10 years, and I have never so much as had a parking ticket, nor do I intend to start now. The speed limits are not in place to "catch you out", they are there to save lives. Having been in a head-on collision myself (caused by the other driver driving too fast for the poor road conditions) with my mum, dad and a family friend I am hurt at the cavalier attitudes around speeding, and road safety in general. Speeding is not something to "laugh about at work", it is something which costs and irreversibly affects REAL LIVES daily.

The only reason my family and I are still here after our accident is through total fluke. Needless to say, in a 60mph+ head on collision, both cars were written off, and we had a broken hip, broken sternum, ruptured spleen, gashed scalp, whiplash, numerous cuts and bruises and glass-filled eyes between us. Not to mention the anxiety I've suffered about travelling ever since, and the likelihood that I'll have to have a hip replacement due to arthritis before I'm even 50. All because one man drove a few mph too fast. Tell me: is it funny and cool now?

[venusbluejeans]

Are speeding points that bad? Everyone gets them, me especially, I have been driving for 10 years and had points on my license throughout the whole time, they don't really affect your insurance etc. ,

Rest assured that probably 80% of people get speeding points, I'd say its a part of life and not a judgement on you, not sure if that will help but its how i look at it, lets be honest all the cool people have speeding points anyway :) , just think it will be something you can laugh over when you go back to work.

Kind regards

Richie

everyone gets them???? I have been driving over 16 years and I have not had any points for speeding or for anything else for that matter.

I find what you said very insensitive and yes a LOT of people get points on their driving licence them but they are certainly not 'Cool'

Even if you did say it just to reassure Little Scientist that it was ok then it really was not the best way to go about it..... please could you think about what you are posting in future.

Emmz

[nomorepanic]

Are speeding points that bad? Everyone gets them, me especially, I have been driving for 10 years and had points on my license throughout the whole time, they don't really affect your insurance etc. ,

Rest assured that probably 80% of people get speeding points, I'd say its a part of life and not a judgement on you, not sure if that will help but its how i look at it, lets be honest all the cool people have speeding points anyway :) , just think it will be something you can laugh over when you go back to work.

Kind regards

Richie

Richie

It is not cool and yes it does effect your insurance.

I would not be bragging about having points on my license like you clearly are :mad:

[Annie0904]

I have been driving 33 years and never had any points on my licence. My husband has been driving 38 years and has never had points on his licence.

[RichieSwansea]

Well, apologies if that offends you, thanks for my ethical assessment/assassination tho,

I'm certainly not implying that anyone should go out and get speeding tickets, but i think its important to distance the importance of the specific situation from the values held about yourself and how this affects your entire life.

Should this affect how she feels about going back to work? Is it that a big a deal that it's worth adding more stress and worry to an already difficult time? Do other people any age/ situation/ driving skill forgive themselves for a mistake?

For your information i certainly do not drive irresponsibly nor support anyone that does, but If i make a small mistake I feel its important to forgive myself or another person, and try to see the humor in a situation rather than beating myself up.

Again sorry if that offended you but its something that have been geared towards during cognitive behavioral therapy is trying to see humor and encourage self acceptance and forgiveness for any mistake, so please don't take my sense of humor as show of support for a minority.

Kind regards

Richie

[venusbluejeans]

Thank you for your apology Richie and the removal of your post.

as you can tell it is rather an emotive subject and NMP is a big place and there are always going to be people (myself included) who did not agree with your 'humour'

Thank you again for your reply

Emmz

[little scientist]

Should this affect how she feels about going back to work? Is it that a big a deal that it's worth adding more stress and worry to an already difficult time? Do other people any age/ situation/ driving skill forgive themselves for a mistake?



Right Richie, to give you an idea of how I was feeling that day after that happened!

Yes it did affect how I felt about going back to my work. The state I was in, my doctor felt I shouldn't return to work and signed me off even longer. So whether it "should" affect me or not, it did. Over reacting to something like that made me over react to near enough anything else going in at the same time, meaning that I felt like I just couldn't cope with my working environment at that time. You act like I deliberately added stress to myself! I think it shows just how fragile the last two months of constant anxiety and panic attacks had made me, so until you know the ins and outs of my life and its stresses, don't comment on whether i should be stressed about something or not. Everyone reacts differently to a stimulus, and in my fragile state, I didn't react well - this is exactly why I am undergoing CBT to try and address this.

To everyone else, thanks for your support. After a day or so I could see the situation a lot more rationally and my anxiety subsided and I was able to continue with my recovery and building myself back up for my return to work, which happened Friday. I am only back part time, as it is still apparent I am still a bit fragile, but I am glad to be back with my colleagues!

Nothing has come through in the post yet which is good, but I am still in the "window" of time, so there is still a chance, but whatever happens, I will take. Yes this has taught me a lesson, both about speeding, and how I react to stressful situations!

Thanks again people :) :hugs:

[Annie0904]

I am so pleased you have been able to return to work. I was going to go back on a phased return starting on 3rd December but because of the pain still in my foot from the accident and my emotional state, Occupational health have advised I don't go back until after Christmas. I was thinking maybe if I just visit work first casually and spend some time with my colleagues then it may help prepare me better to go and work. Well done on your first day back. I have my second cbt session tomorrow so hoping it will work for me. :hugs::hugs: xx

[RichieSwansea]

little scientist:

I originally posted basically saying it happens to a lot of people and try not to let it get to you and try not to add too much weight to the situation and make yourself worse, people got offended, i deleted the post, put my justification up to what i have told myself in similar situations, i certainly was not speaking directly to you, mainly the people who told me i was irresponsible.

But you know what, only trying to help,

Regardless of what the other people posted , wish you all the best as i certainly dont judge anyone badly or preemptive especially in a forum such as this.

I wont re post on this .

apologies again

Kind regards

Richie