Need some support

[Candy6]

Hi all
I have been suffering from anxiety/panic for a few months now but have suffered on and off for years. I have been on anit-depressants for many years as I have a lot of stress in my life. The main source of this stress (although not the original cause) is my son's health. He was diagnosed with crohn's disease 9 years ago and it has been an up hill battle ever since. Anyway to cut a very long story short, he has again suffered a major set-back with it and is very distressed about it as he had an appointment with this consultant today - he is treated at a very good hospital miles away from where we live but nothing seems to help. He broke down this evening saying he can't cope any more and doesn't see any point in going on. The thing is, I really need to be strong for him now but as I have been ill again recently with my anxiety issues, I am finding it very hard to deal with. I just don't know where to turn or where we go from here. Its just breaking my heart as I love him so much. I really really need to be strong for him but don't know where to turn. He is 21 and says he has no life. I have a supportive husband who has been great through my anxiety issues but have lost my mum and dad so dont feel I have anyone else to support me. This site has helped me so much in the last few weeks so any advice would be great.

[Elle-Kay]

Hi Louise. I can't really offer you any advice I'm afraid, but wanted to send you some :hugs: anyway, to let you know that you have us for support, too x

[Laura123]

Hi Louise, I am so sorry you are drowning in all of this just now, it's so hard to see the people we love so much in pain and so low, and it's hard enough when we feel able to cope never mind when we struggle with anxiety. Has your doctors perhaps got a support group on your area? Xx

[Gotagetthroughthis]

Sounds like you are going through a really tough time and I really feel for you. You just have to try and stay strong and take each day as it comes and then hopefully things will begin to improve and you can get through this bad patch. You will get through it and see the good days again.

Sending all my hope and support and everyone here is always here to talk if you need to.

:hugs:

[MissHDynamite]

Oh Louise.. that must be so difficult for you to have to watch. I think the biggest hurt we get is when our children are suffering in any way. I really do feel for you :hugs:

I don't know much at all about Chrohn's although I do have a friend who has had trouble for many years with it and has had some bowel removed. I can only think for you to get the full picture of what stage your son is at and research, research, research anything that might help. It can be very helpful sometimes to really look into things thoroughly. It may be that you find something that the docs haven't heard of or a tablet they haven't tried.. you just never know.

Other than that.. I can only say that we are all here for your support :hugs: I really hope that he begins to feel better soon x

[Candy6]

Thank you all for your messages. It really does help to know people are there.

xx

[Candy6]

Further to my post last night, I have had an awful night and am just so anxious about my son I feel I can't cope any more. I have an appointment at the GPs surgery this morning who will hopefully refer me to community mental health team as apparently if its urgent enough you can be seen the same day. I hope so but I am feeling really guilty now as I can't support my son who really needs it whereas I am just thinking about myself.

[Annie0904]

Louise I really feel for you, I know how hard it is when your kids are so ill. My own son (25) has been ill for sometime now and saw a neurologist last week and is waiting for a scan. One of my friends has a nephew who has chrohns and was diagnosed at the age of 12 (now in late 20's) He has really gone through a tough time and been so ill with it and like your son, feeling like he can't cope anymore. He had most of his bowel removed a few years ago and is now a different person, happy and living his life, he has been to university and now has a full time job. I know it seems so hard at the moment but I just wanted to share that story with you so that you can be positive that things can get better for your son. My son's illness is affecting my anxiety and I sometimes feel useless and helpless but in reality it is just showing how much we love and care about them. Give yourself time for you to..maybe a massage to help you relax. Sending lots of :hugs::hugs::hugs: xx

[Candy6]

Thank you Annie, you are so kind and your story really does help. I have just come back from my GP and he says maybe I am asking too much of myself but I just want to be there for him. Maybe I need to try and just take a small step back and I don't know. I hope your son is ok and his scan goes well. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you need some support and I will help if I can. Who'd be a mum eh!

[Annie0904]

You are right it is so hard being a Mum sometimes especially when our kids are sick. My youngest now 22 has gone through 2 major cardio/thoracic surgeries so I know what it is like to get so anxious about them. It is even harder when they are having difficulty coping themselves. My sons last op, as he was going into theatre and knowing what an anxious mum he has! sat up on the trolley and said "Just off to the butchers Mum, won't be long" Pm me anytime Louise if you need support xx

[electrical_stormgirl]

Sending love and hugs. Louise you are being a brilliant mum but you're only human so not surprising if the pressure gets to you too- don't be hard on yourself. A friend of mine used to have Crohns so I know how debilitating it can be but several years on she's much better and leading a happy active life. :hugs:

[Candy6]

Thank you again Annie. You too have certainly been through a lot with your kids too. Its no wonder we're anxious! I feel a bit better tonight as I have been out with a good friend whose daughter also has health problems - it does help to talk I'm a big believer in talking treatments.
Thank you too electrical stormgirl for your positive response, it really helps that others who have this awful condition can lead normal lives.