Random need advice noisy neighbors, if you know what I mean??

[Col]

Hi all, I'm not prudish & have a BSc Biology to prove it.
Anyway, the land lady of the house next door has separated from her husband and since August, every time her boyfriend stays garanteed you hear them having loud sex! Not him, just her you can hear! Its woken me & my hubby up & I'm worried my kids might hear!
We live in terraces & I knw now & again you can expect noises but, the tenants that lived there before were a group of single men & in the 2 years we've lived hear, we never heard a thing! Such a stark contrast!
This women has 2 kids but she has them alternate weeks. When her kids are around, you dont hear a sound from the bedroom department ( wonder why ), once there gone - its like porn central! The neighbors on the opposite side have kids & also must have heard her? According to one of the neighbours - her ex-husband inherited a big house in grounds & now she's moved back here onto a main road maybe, she feels that she's come down in the world & doesn't give a crap about the neighbors! Just a thought ? She does swan about like lady muck!
Just now I got so mad, so I found a jiggy scene on you tube and thought sod it & turned it up really loud for about 30 seconds. They did go quiet but baring in mind the times 12-12:30am & then 5 mins after heard her giggling , loud??
Not fair on kids
Woken up middle of night
Compared to single guys that we've lived next to for over - Never heard a peep from them in terms of bedroom stuff nor any other neighbours I've ever lived beside for that matter! She's here 3 mths & can map her entire sexual activities.

Don't know how you would deal with this? No respect its really pissing me off & I hate getting wound up after ive come so far bu, something that really gets under my skin is piss takers & shes seriously taking piss!
:mad:mad::mad::mad:
Sorry 4 rant

[nomorepanic]

I had noisy neighbours many years ago so I wrote them a very polite letter and put it through the door and they came and apologised and were very good about it.

Maybe you could do that?

[Tyke]

Hi Col

This would annoy me too. I have heard of this a few times before and it is not uncommon! I think Nicolas advice is good. She may be really embarrassed if she realised how bad it was (most normal people would be horrified). If you could get your other neighbour to help by doing a letter too it might shock her even more and prevent her claiming it is just your problem. If she really couldn't care less and tells you where to go your only option left is complaining to the council. I doubt it will be the first complaint they will have had of this nature. If you do end up going down that route you will need to keep a diary of times and noise activity to demonstrate the scale of the problem!

Sadly many people are truly awful to live next door to. I have had my fair share in the past, but am lucky with the ones I've got at the moment.

Tyke :)

[Col]

Thank you so much for your good advice:winks:

My husband is soo quiet and despite him being really fed up with this as well, (he's even got a code name for her) BUT he gets really worried over confrontation & sometimes catches the same bus as her in the morning and would rather put up and shut up! So I thought maybe I'm over reacting!
Having said that, I know I'm not because the frequency and the loud explicit noises she makes is horrid! In addition compared to the single men & the other neighbors I've lived besides, I've never experienced this!

I don't mind noise, I've got kids myself so I am very tolerant as well, but this is a different type of noise & quite revolting to hear and I have lost count how many times I've heard her, in only 3 months! Having kids & the fact that when there around you hear nothing from the bedroom department indicates that ~ she obviously doesn't want her kids to hear this SO, why should anyone elses?
I know people have a right to do what they want in there own home but, I would be mortified! What worries me is that unfortunately, I think she must be aware that we can hear her because I can hear her kids sometimes and therefore she must hear me and my kids??? So she must be aware the walls are thin and noises travel easy! That's worrying and leads me to think that, when she's under the influence of that guy, she doesn't give a monkies! Her kids still go to a school outside the area so, she doesn't have to mix much with locals and she drives! What annoys me also is that, where ever she thinks she's come from, she's come into a lovely area average price index is £204,000 and rent over £700 per mth, which tells anyone this is a good area, we've bust our balls to live round here, don't know who she thinks she is???. Despite that, it doesn't matter where you live, no one should have to put up with this behaviour! I worry her point might be , my house up to me what I do, my point - yep but decent people wouldn't invade other peoples space or cause problems for others with no regard!

Thanks again it's really helped me that advice, I'll keep you posted.

[little scientist]

I'd say speak to them, or write a polite note if it feels too embarrassing to talk about face to face :)

If that fails, then you can probably complain to the council's noise team (usually a noise abatement team or similar)

[mikewales]

Drop a note round giving her marks out of 10 and a critique like on strictly come dancing, it may embaress her into keeping quiet

[Edie]

That's an awkward situation.

She might think she's posh, but she isn't exactly behaving like a classy lady. That said, you may just have misinterpreted her on this. I know I've been accused of snobbery on many occasions, when the real issue is actually shyness.

If you feel you can carry it off, it might work to make some kind of joke about her active sex life, ask her for some tips or something that would embarrass her.

[Col]

That's an awkward situation.

She might think she's posh, but she isn't exactly behaving like a classy lady. That said, you may just have misinterpreted her on this. I know I've been accused of snobbery on many occasions, when the real issue is actually shyness.

If you feel you can carry it off, it might work to make some kind of joke about her active sex life, ask her for some tips or something that would embarrass her.

Yes thanks for that, I do hate judging someone when I don't really know them but, she does swan about a lot, with her nose sort of glued to the sky????
I really like the suggestion by mikewales ~ hilarious! But just found out she said hello to my hubby at the bus stop this morning, which gives me the feeling that there is a sound person some where in there. Maybe I have got her wrong on the attitude but, I know Im right in saying that what she's been doing so explicitly ~ is wrong! Hopefully with her acknowledging my hubby, she might have realised her inappropriate behaviour! I feel like such a fuddyduddy but seriously it's been shocking, I wish NMP had audio links because you'd all be horrified or highly amused :roflmao:

[Edie]

Oh, I definitely agree the noise is a totally unreasonable way to behave. You're quite right to be offended by it and I do hope you can find a solution. And you may be right about her attitude too, I just wanted to offer an alternative possibility.

[traciec39]

We had exactly the same problem a few years back.
A well known tv presenter lived next door to us and he was
Bringing "ladies" back all the time.
He started seeing a regular girl( also on tv an actress)
Omg. They were at it like rabbits.
Even banging off the walls etc etc.
my teenagers found it hilarious. She was so loud and
Vocal. Made me feel like a prude ha ha!!!
Anyway, husband wanted to contact the news of world
And shame them.
In the end we just popped a polite note in the door,
When we bumped into them it was tense but fine.
Needless to say we never heard another thing!!!!

Good luck but remember you ALSO pay to live there,
And your entitled to peace n quiet. Xx

[Col]

Ahh traciec39, that's shocking- come on spill, who was it???:winks
On a serious note though, it's really stressed me out & I really didn't want to have to give a sex education lesson to my kids, I have one at 3 &1/2 & given another few months I'd know he'd ask and my daughters 10. I know although most parents don't like to admit it but, kids around this age know a lot more than you think! But still, day in day out having to put up with this has really annoyed me. I sit and think ~ I'm sure she must hear my kids so.....doesn't she have any thoughts that whatever she gets up to, we could hear her???? Another thing is that, she's got kids but seems to have them on alternate weeks because, you see them with there back packs and mini suitcases coming back from school on a Friday, you can hear them playing and then the following Friday the kids are no where to be seen and then guaranteed that evening her boyfriend will return and then you hear her whaling and whailing!! They've woken us up & it can be morning as late as 9am on a week day when she knows there's a greater chance she could be heard because most of us are up! Shes either so self absorbed that she doesn't realise and has no common decency OR she's the type of person who doesn't care if you can hear her ( forgotten the word) ? To carry on the way she does??? I thought it was me, thanks for your advice because it's really stressed me out this! My husbands no help, someone could randomly smack him in the face and he'd proberbly stand there, he hates conflict and confrontation & I'm quite firey and he makes out like I kick off too easy! That's why I put this thread on because I knew I had to take action and wonderd what others would do? My husband thinks the same as me but is the type to put up & shut up and I've put up with this for 3 months now! Ive bided my time, enough is enough! As I said above - before she moved back , we had single men living next door and we didn't hear a peep!
Hopefully she'll have realised and it will stop, fingers crossed :unsure: X

[Col]

Help, just heard loud laughter , there gonna be at it!
Oh no, how should I begin this letter,I'm furious , thought shed got the message:mad:

[Col]

Ohhhhh noooooo I posted a letter simply explaining in brief that we can hear them, we could never hear the other naiegbours whom were all single males and about the consideration with children!

I await the argument not sure when she gets in how she'll respond! I made it clear how flabbergasted I am at having to resort to posting a note?????

Thing is this morning at 6:53am heard her moaning and groaning again!:shrug:

[Edie]

Well done. I hope everything turns out OK and this noise can stop!

[CherryRed]

Hi Col

I have neighbours just like you (not as bad) we only ever hear them (at it) at weekends when their oldest sons out, One night it was so loud they didn't hear their son returning home (we did, they have a squeaky gate) god knows what he must of thought, because i bet he could hear them even before he got into the house, I'm surprised no one walking past the house hasn't called the police to report someone being murdered, we live in an enclosed area so everything echo's, They also have a 4 yr old son, He must go into a coma when he goes to sleep, because i never hear him (only his mother) The first time it happened was one summer, and having the windows open made it 10 times worse, I couldn't believe what i was hearing, so i got up slammed the window shut, stomp across the bedroom, so they knew i heard them, and when they do it now, the next day i get up really early and hoover up, its always at weekends so, if they wake me up i'll wake them up, i think they've got the hint now, because its been really quite just lately

[anxiety70]

I have had this problem for years and I used to write letters to the people who were bothering me. However, it seemed to make things worse. I would suggest plucking up your courage and talking to her about her vocal acrobatics. Whether it will make any difference I don't know, but you will feel better I think. It is always better to speak face to face if you have the nerve. Sorry if I haven't helped.....