View Full Version : unwanted feelings and thoughts can someone reply please
i have suffered with anxiety for a number of years i take medication, but everyday i am questioning everything the main thing that worrying me for awhile now is unwanted gay feelings and thoughts, whenever i see a male on telly or something straight away i get nervous etc because i know i am going to get an unwanted feeling or thought about liking this male etc, but everyday not once but loads of times i say to myself i am not gay i want females i like females, i say things in my head would i kiss a man no would i have sex with a man no would i feel a man no would i let a man feel me no, but all this doesnt seem good enough feels like i am lying to myself but i am not but its hard because it feels like i am lying to myself, when i think of girls now because of all this CRAP ( putting it lightly ) this anxiety is making me feel like i dont want girls now its a complete joke i am phoning up for CBT which my doctor said i should go for, anxiety or even OCD which i think i may have does in the end try to make you believe these unwanted feelings and thoughts you battle with day by day 24/7 because it is most of the day seem true, i am 24 years of age over 5 years ago a very long time ago i have had gay experiences i dunno why i did it i just did and i do regret it yes i liked it at the time but i regret it so just because i did this my anxiety tells me well i must be gay because i did gay things in the past, i am just going around in circles and its ruining my life i do think i would be better off dead but dont have the bottle to do it plus i do know its stupid to think that way, even with all this crap kinda shows i am not gay but even so its still not enough all this worry and not wanting these thoughts or feelings to make me believe i am not gay, has anyone ever been through this? i dont even have to think things just come in my head straight away when its a male, if they have nice bodys i would want that body i wouldnt wanna have sex with that male but even when i say this its like i am lying its a complete joke and so hard, i get a feeling when i think to myself with a girl and my girlfriend in the future that i want dont want that? and i dont know why, but i certinaly dont want a male ? dont have a clue what is going on,
so main things bothering me are
unwanted gay thoughts/feelings of being gay
every day 24/7 questioning myself putting my mind in situations that worry me tryin got battle them
things i want feeling untrue
feeling stressed nervous etc when i see a male whethers its on tv knowing i am going to get unwanted gay feelings thoughts to that male
also i go on dating sites i always message girls and look for girls but yet this still isnt good enough to get rid of these horrible sick gay thoughts/feelings
:mad:
The harder you try and get rid of these thoughts, the more they become matter of fact because you are affirming them over and over in your mind. You need to accept these thoughts for them to go away, it may take time as you have been going over and over the same subject for so long. The experience you had with a male in the past is part of growing up, challenging your sexuality, it is not wrong. You will be able to get a true perspective of your feelings once you have stopped worrying about your obsession with men.
Accept.
it comes across as your saying i am more or less gay but i am not, and i feel if i just accept the feelings it will turn me gay because it will be like i aint bothered about the feelings i dont wanna just accept a feeling and think ok he looks nice i want him etc, i also feel when i get a new girlfriend or even wife with years to come i will have the thoughts trying to ruin the relationship and make me think i am gay because thats what happened in the last relationship i had feelings as if i didnt love my ex and had the gay feeling/thoughts, i masturbate over women few months back i looked at 2 gay porn clips to challenge myself and i didnt touch myself when watching it but i felt very nervous etc and because i was horny after looking at straight porn before challenging myself with the 2 gay porn clips it felt like i wanted to touch myself but i never no reason for life to be punishing me like this, i feel my mind is gonna make me act on these feelings but i wont let it happen but at the other time it feels like my minds gonna act on these unwanted feelings, its like when we were young you do something knowing its wrong like someone telling you dont do this but you do it, its like my unwanted feelings i want girls but my mind making me feel i want males, i have been single for 10 months now after splitting up with my ex girlfriend so i feel i am gonna be nervous towards girls when i meet new ones and i know these unwanted feelings and thoughts are gonna make me feel uncomfortable with the girl
Hello lovely! I assume your 'scouse' means you're an actual scouser, I'm from the Wirral, so around the neck of your woods. I can completely empathize with every single thing you're dealing with at the moment. I have had it within my relationship, my gender, my sexuality. I even had myself questioning whether I was a pedophile!? These thoughts were on a loop, I honestly mean every single second of every single day. I suffer from rocd, to this day, but I'm trying to get through it. Step by step, i'm getting better. With blips every now and again!
I'll give you some tips and advice to get rid of them. There is hope honestly. I can assure you. It never feels like there is, but there is! I'm off out now, but I seen your post and felt like I couldn't wait. I needed to tell you that you are not alone! Drop me a private message (I can't reply properly to forums on my iphone for some reason) and I'll be happy to help you :) x
also i am a big everton fan season ticket holder tattoo on my arm i get unwanted feelings like i wanna support liverpool? lol cant stand them
it comes across as your saying i am more or less gay but i am not, and i feel if i just accept the feelings it will turn me gay because it will be like i aint bothered about the feelings i dont wanna just accept a feeling and think ok he looks nice i want him etc, i also feel when i get a new girlfriend or even wife with years to come i will have the thoughts trying to ruin the relationship and make me think i am gay because thats what happened in the last relationship i had feelings as if i didnt love my ex and had the gay feeling/thoughts, i masturbate over women few months back i looked at 2 gay porn clips to challenge myself and i didnt touch myself when watching it but i felt very nervous etc and because i was horny after looking at straight porn before challenging myself with the 2 gay porn clips it felt like i wanted to touch myself but i never no reason for life to be punishing me like this, i feel my mind is gonna make me act on these feelings but i wont let it happen but at the other time it feels like my minds gonna act on these unwanted feelings, its like when we were young you do something knowing its wrong like someone telling you dont do this but you do it, its like my unwanted feelings i want girls but my mind making me feel i want males, i have been single for 10 months now after splitting up with my ex girlfriend so i feel i am gonna be nervous towards girls when i meet new ones and i know these unwanted feelings and thoughts are gonna make me feel uncomfortable with the girl
Sorry if that's how it came across, I didn't mean that you were gay.
dont worry too much about it, iam straight and married...i sometimes fancy girls and am curious about lesbianism...but when crunch comes to the crunch i could'nt touch another woman sexually...theres nothing wrong with a bit of curiousity ...u know your limits and im sure deep down you know ur limits too...
hi all sorry for not responding i decided not to go to CBT but i think i will ask my doctor to make me another appointment and go, when i look at a woman i get feelings and things in my head as if its wrong when its not because its what i want, and when its a man or a gay person its like the thought and feeling is making me feel towards that way i am worried that its gonna make me wanna like something i dont want to like will this ever stop? when you say accept the thoughts how can you do this? because its just gonna make you believe the thoughts are true and they will get stronger, i dont ever think my mind is ever gonna get better, when ever i masturbate too men try and come in my head when i think of women or look at women its like my mind is actually tryin to mess me around i am also worried if the CBT person will say i am gay i just couldnt handle him saying that with me knowing i am not then i wont know who to turn to for help, sigh
---------- Post added at 19:45 ---------- Previous post was at 19:13 ----------
also when a gay thought comes in my head and i say no to it this doesnt seem good enough and something is trying to make me wanna say yes to it, just right now i said to myself if a male wants to kiss me or touch me i would just say no but thats not good enough and with me saying no its still trying to make me believe i do want that to happen why wont this crap go away? will it ever go away?
get thoughts etc when you see a nice looking man its hard for me to type this which is good because its obvious i aint gay but i would never kiss or do anything with a man yet theres something in the back of my head that is sayin i would its a feeling as if i would but i wont then i would panic of the thought incase i did, the slightest little thing towards a man will get me thinking i like him i wanna do this and that and i am gay blah blah, is it worth going to CBT and seeing someone ? hopefully someone can make me not panic etc and not think of the what ifs etc
no replys? when theres a so called nice looking man or whatever its hard to get my mind off the fact do i like him not tha i like him but do i like him etc and its hard just to forget about
---------- Post added at 13:49 ---------- Previous post was at 13:05 ----------
why is it to hard just to get things out your head you dont want there? am going over and over in my head about this gay crap and i am not interested nor do i wanna be gay, its just affecting my life even thinking of a girl its making me think i wont be happy with a girl etc etc its a complete joke and i dunno why i am getting this stress and anxiety, i wouldnt touch another man kiss another man etc etc but this isnt good enough for the thoughts to go away i then get feelings as if i am lying but i know i wont but feel my mind will lead me on to believing these unwanted thoughts and acting on them, i say to myself would i want a man next to me in bed or a woman and its obviously a woman i would want but that then feels wrong but also the man next to me feels wrong but now i am sayin its wrong its feeling like its right but its not right because its wrong it just doesnt make sense this is why its so annoying why am i getting this? its not because i am thinking of turning gay or i am gay etc its just throughout my life i feel like i wanna do things that i know are wrong and i dont want to do
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