View Full Version : morning anxiety!!!
Hi I'm new to this.
I'm 29 male and got 2 kids 7 and 1. Steady job but not for me.
On 20mg cilatopram and seeing a therapist!
Despite this my morning anxiety has returned this week, I wake up before my alarm and turn it off, I then spend an hour or so paniccing and thinking of excuses not to goto work even though I know I have to go, I really fear losing my job but can't get up to go in!
Help!!!
nomorepanic
14-11-12, 07:44
Hi joseph83
We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.
Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.
Hey joseph83 a very warm :welcome: to you.
Thanks I will have. Good look this morning, I'm sire I can't be the only one with these problems
AnxiousBaker
14-11-12, 08:45
Welcome to NMP! You will find plenty of advice here. Do you think the citalopram is working for you? How long have you been taking it for?
Been taking it 6 weeks now, I have felt better recently but this week has felt like a real setback. I feel ashamed of myself for not being at work.
Joannecolliswest
14-11-12, 09:47
Hi don't know bout you but I've been so glad to find this site and find out I am not going mad and alone x
Yeah me too, great support! Also feels good to know not alone. I sometimes feel like I'm making it all up!
AnxiousBaker
14-11-12, 09:50
It could just be a blip or the medication hasnt quite reached its full effect yet. If it does continue i would suggest going back to see your GP and see what he says.
You will be fine im sure, we all have these same issues :)
I'm hoping its a blip, its annoying because I know if I'd got out of bed this morning I'd be fine now!
Richard1960
14-11-12, 10:25
Been taking it 6 weeks now, I have felt better recently but this week has felt like a real setback. I feel ashamed of myself for not being at work.
Hi and :welcome:
Citalopram will only just be kicking in properly now i know i have been on it for nearly 9 months now,try not to see everything as a setback beating yourself up because you have a genuine illness will only make your anxiety worse and that come from one on my Counsellors and its true.
Perhaps you need to take a bit of time out from work if thats possible to calm down and re-asses things,i have done a CBT(cognitive behavioral therapy)course via mind with books and video presentations which have helped.
With two young children life can be tough but being ill is not a failure if it was doctors would be out of buisiness!!
As i have already said DO NOT beat yourself up over it you will meet plenty on here myself included who know what you are going through.:)
Kind regards.
Richard.
Thanks Richard, taking more time off isn't really an option. I think I went back too soon, going to see if I can do some light duties or something just to take some pressure off myself.
I can't help but beat myself up because it feels as though I'm doing something wrong.
Richard1960
14-11-12, 10:38
Thanks Richard, taking more time off isn't really an option. I think I went back too soon, going to see if I can do some light duties or something just to take some pressure off myself.
I can't help but beat myself up because it feels as though I'm doing something wrong.
Hi joseph83
I can identify with that myself for a long while i used to beat myself up until i found out it was only making things worse.!
Maybe light duties would be a good ideal if you can get them at work,but do not run away with the idea you are doing something wrong,just as with a broken leg which needs fixing,your body in this case a different part is going wrong now to fix it you have medication and you can always go back to your GP for a chat if you are not happy,for other types of therapy my illness was made worse in itself as i used to self medicate with alcohol, had a few blips but have pulled myself back again as i am sure you will too.:)
By the way one of the few side effects i do notice with Citalopram is it makes me feel very tired in the mornings and it takes me a while to get going.
Richard.
little scientist
14-11-12, 10:40
Thanks Richard, taking more time off isn't really an option. I think I went back too soon, going to see if I can do some light duties or something just to take some pressure off myself.
I can't help but beat myself up because it feels as though I'm doing something wrong.
I too at first felt bad for taking time off work, but then came round to the fact I needed the time to look after myself, and that I was the important one, not the job :) I am due to return to work soon but have more time available to me if needed which is good, I too am going back in quite lightly at just 3 days a week so as to try and minimise my stress.
Don't beat yourself up, there is nothing wrong in being ill.
I just think that at least a broken leg is something you can't make up, I know there is something wrong but stupidly get very embarrassed about it.
Richard, my gp hasn't been great but I'm seeing a counsellor which has been a help.
Scientist, I hope you find going back to work ok, I would advice u not to rush back like I did!
Richard1960
14-11-12, 10:59
I just think that at least a broken leg is something you can't make up, I know there is something wrong but stupidly get very embarrassed about it.
Richard, my gp hasn't been great but I'm seeing a counsellor which has been a help.
Scientist, I hope you find going back to work ok, I would advice u not to rush back like I did!
Well something going wrong with other parts of your body cannot be made up either in my view i have and am there myself.
I have done this course.
http://www.llttf.com/index.php?section=page&page_seq=20&
Which comes with audio via your computer and 9 little books to help you deal with stress,you can buy them but i got them provided at no cost to me via mind who also have supported me on the course with a phone call a week,perhaps a course like this would be useful for you.?
I would not rush back to work either and even my occupational advice dr recommends that as well i have been off 4 months,but the problems have mostly been caused by work which are due to be hopefully sorted out next week with the help of my union.
Richard.
dottielottie
14-11-12, 11:08
Hi I am on 40mg of cit, i takes me an hour to calm down in the mornings x
Sounds like it could help Richard. I'm not sure if I'll have to go back to the doctor for some light duties or not but think that's the way forward!
How long you been on cit lottie?
little scientist
14-11-12, 14:28
Scientist, I hope you find going back to work ok, I would advice u not to rush back like I did!
I had a patch off work in September, and went back too soon. This time i have been off 3 weeks and am having a phased return to work. My boss has been wonderful to put it simply :) And she is keen to make sure I am not stressed!
---------- Post added at 14:28 ---------- Previous post was at 14:26 ----------
Sounds like it could help Richard. I'm not sure if I'll have to go back to the doctor for some light duties or not but think that's the way forward!
Just to add Joseph, you can ask the GP to sign a sick note with phased return or something, or light duties, there is an option on the note for it, if your employer is willing to cooperate
Similar to me, I thought I was ok last week so I'm pretty down about this.
Im currently setting myself goals, hoping this helps me get out of bed!
little scientist
14-11-12, 15:01
Goal setting is good, and be positive with yourself for meeting the goals :) Just set little goals though, as my CBT book says, "How would you eat an elephant? well you can't in one go, you have to break it up into small pieces!"
I felt great last week and back on track to return to work, then had a bit of a hiccup and have been feeling down this week. Its taking a lot of work to try and keep me "up"
I feel for ya, its horrible!
I love the elephant quote, quality
little scientist
14-11-12, 17:00
and its from a CBT book too lol, but makes you think about it doesn't it? :)
Yeah it makes you realize that beating anxiety is hard work!
Dont feel ashamed, this has happened to lots of people, including me. Twice I have tried to return to work this year (after an absence of over 8 years raising my children) The first time I had a massive panic attack during the training, and had to leave work and was unable to return. I spent weeks crying, rocking back and forth, and not knowing what the hell had happened. Gp put me on antideppressants and after a few months I felt better. I then tried to do a part time position but within weeks I was like you, dreading going into work, feeling shaky and anxious. I went back to the gp and he put me on propanolol, increased my anti deppressants, and reffered me to a therepist.
The therepist was able to diagnose I had ptsd, (from childhood abuse) and gad, and going back to work after such a long time away had caused a "trauma event", effectively opening pandoras box on my past, which I had repressed. I have been seeing him for a few weeks, and am on the waiting list to see an abuse counsellor. I am also starting at a support group next week.
I am still shaky in the mornings, but the propanolol has helped with the trembling and palpatations. The most important lesson I have learnt is to accept all the help you can, and to give it time. I tried to rush things and just made them worse.
I really hope you find your answer and start to feel better soon :)
Thanks, I think giving it time is the key to dealing with this otherwise the pressure just makes things a lot worse! Iv felt absolutely awful today because I was off work
Sparkle1984
14-11-12, 18:32
Welcome to the forums Joseph. Try not to put yourself under too much pressure about work. You are ill so it's fine to be off work until you're better.
It's hard though as iv already had an oral warning, can't really take more time off. I can't relax at home if I'm off but can't get up for work, catch 22!
Joesph I have found it alot easier having people to talk to. I have made a lovely friend on here, and we chat on facebbok and email one another most days. Theres no shame in how you are feeling, I know its all easier said than done, and I know that "guilt" feeling when you dont go into work. Like I mentioned before, I had to leave. I will return eventually, but not until I have dealt with all my issues. Is there something causing your dread of work, or has it just come from nowhere? If you find the root of it all it will be easier to tackle it headon.
I know you must be feeling tired, confused, guilty, anxious, and probably more besides, but there are some wonderful people out there and can help you x
little scientist
15-11-12, 10:05
It's hard though as iv already had an oral warning, can't really take more time off. I can't relax at home if I'm off but can't get up for work, catch 22!
It is worth reminding your employer of the disability and equality act (not sure of its exact name!)
It's come out of nowhere, I'm seeing a therapist so hopefully we find the root of it, in the meantime, like everyone else on here it will be a struggle I guess.
People are so kind on here, its been a real help!
little scientist
15-11-12, 10:42
hopefully the therapist will help :) I too am seeing a therapist, and each week we have had some kind of realisation about how I see myself, or how I treat myself!
I had my second session this week and also realised some things about how I see myself, I'm hoping 6 sessions will be enough!
Richard1960
15-11-12, 12:02
I had my second session this week and also realised some things about how I see myself, I'm hoping 6 sessions will be enough!
joseph83.
Has your work not got an occupational health department they can refer you too they do have a duty of care towards you as employers with a genuine disability.
The talking therapy sounds as though its going pretty well though which is a good sign.:)
Richard.
---------- Post added at 12:02 ---------- Previous post was at 11:56 ----------
It is worth reminding your employer of the disability and equality act (not sure of its exact name!)
http://www.equalityhumanrights.com/advice-and-guidance/before-the-equality-act/guidance-for-service-providers-pre-october-2010/good-medical-practice-and-disability-equality/1-the-disability-discrimination-act-1995-dda-a-brief-explanation/
This is probably what you mean little scientist the disability discrmination act
People with mental health problems are on the list at num 12.
Richard.
camperlady
15-11-12, 12:21
i have this exact same problem joseph, i find it so hard to get up, i snooze so long sometimes the snoozes run out n then i can sleep for ages, when i finally drag myself out of bed my second mistake is to sit down, turn the tv on n sit, i say to myself i,ll get up in a minute and do something, ie, get dressed, clean up but i end up staring into space, and then the guilt sets in n i feel lazy, hopeless and guilty, and at the end of the day i,m even lower because i havn,t made the effort, whereas on a good day, i will make myself get up n get going n by the afternoon i,m a lot better, out n about and feel proud that i,ve had a productive day, i can really connect with you on this one and people dont understand why u can,t "just do it" so you then feel useless and a fraud, it,s just a vicious circle, but your not alone, your not lazy n useless, your ill, just like me n we will get better, got to hold on to that xxx:hugs:
We gotta stay positive, iv had a setback but will be back on my bike soon!
Hi I'm new to this.
I'm 29 male and got 2 kids 7 and 1. Steady job but not for me.
On 20mg cilatopram and seeing a therapist!
Despite this my morning anxiety has returned this week, I wake up before my alarm and turn it off, I then spend an hour or so paniccing and thinking of excuses not to goto work even though I know I have to go, I really fear losing my job but can't get up to go in!
Help!!!
Hiya, I know how you feel, this morning I was sooo tempted to call in sick but have had so much time off I couldn't do it, I don't know which is worse the fear of going in or the fear of judgement from fellow workers who don't understand, hope things get better for you soon and know you are not alone
tessasuzanne
15-11-12, 13:56
Hi Joseph83,
I'm sorry your morning anxiety is so bad at the moment, I often find that my anxiety is far worse in the mornings too, and like you I try and think of all the reasons under the sun to not go in! However, I usually find that the anxiety wears off almost as soon as I get in and start getting busy. You say that your job isn't for you? Are you looking for new work? Also, do your current employers know about your anxiety? I'm sure they would be very understanding and flexible if they knew.
I hope your anxiety starts to get better soon!
Tess
Lorandian, I totally sympathise about the fear of others judgement, its a major issue for me, never know what to say.
Tess, I kind of keep my eye open for other jobs and looking to get qualified, there isn't much around though! My employers do know and people are supportive but always feel I'm being judged
tessasuzanne
15-11-12, 15:22
Well I'm glad your employers know, I think that is really important. I told my new employer for the first time yesterday because I was feeling really bad. He was very supportive and seemed to understand. But like you I am convinced people are judging me. Which, in a way, I guess some are. It so, so, SO hard to understand what it is like to suffer from a mental illness if you have never suffered yourself. But that is why it is so good to be open and honest with people and try to explain as much as you can what it is like.
Keep looking for a new job! Something will come up! And you never know, it might make all the difference!
I have definitely found telling people the truth about what's going on has helped although embarrassed to start with iv found it amazing how many people understand!
I actually found before this blip that a cloud was lifting and what I want out of life becoming much clearer, even wanting to learn the piano! I'm wondering how long this anxiety/depression has been holding me back!
hi joseph, i have same problem, never wanting to get out of bed and face the day or i sit here typing this contemplating getting ready for my night shift. its annoying as i know i will go to work and get through the night but i will always get anxious as the time nears. my advice to you is when you wake (if at a reasonable time) get out of bed make a hot drink and do not get back into bed until nightfall. by getting out of bed i am telling my body/mind that i am going to face the day ahead.
hope this helps
Hi mark thanks, getting out of bed is sometimes so hard, the hardest part of the day and if I let it beat me that's it for a few days. It's hard to break the cycle!
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