Still worrying

[ladymillion]

I have a training course coming up at work on the 27th of this month. I am terrified!!! a few years ago i wouldnt have been bothered by it and would be looking forward to it but anxiety has taken over.

I went to one a few months ago that lasted an hour and it felt like a lifetime, i couldnt concentrate or sit still. I felt everyone was noticing my anxiety. I felt like i was in a dream and the worst of all was the fear that i was going to lose control of my bladder!! ( this has never happend but it is mainly what my anxiety is centred around.

I dont know how this fear began but it is such a horrible fear. It feels so real! The course i have to go to is from 9 until 4 i am dreading it so much and i am in serious need of support!

Is there anyone who has some helpful tips which could get me through the day.

Also does anyone else have this fear. I am always at the toilet and because of that i now fear i have weakend my bladder! I am only 22 and havent had children yet so i should have a strong healthy bladder.

Please help x

[Paul H]

Hello there

I'm sorry to read that you're having this anxiety and this fear of wetting yourself.

Something you might try is a technique which therapists sometimes use with blushers.

When you're next in a situation when you experience this fear, tell yourself to wet yourself. It sounds odd but give it a try. Repeat to yourself over and over: "go on, I dare you, wet yourself. Do it, now. I give you permission to wet yourself."

Don't push your bladder physically, of course, but just taunt this irrational fear with the permission to let itself go if it chooses.

It won't.

The point is that you've spent so long willing yourself, pleading with yourself, not to wet yourself, despite the fact that it was never (as you say) going to happen, that you now believe this to be the reason why you don't wet yourself. You know this is nonsense even if you don't yet believe it in your heart of hearts.

Try, therefore, the opposite. Command yourself to urinate through fear.

Did you know that rats have no bladder? Rats emit a constant trickle of urine throughout their lives.

We have bladders and we train our minds to exert willpower over when and where they relax their sphincter muscles. Unless we have a physical reason to lose control over urination there is nothing to worry about.

So, when you're next stressed and in fear of wetting yourself, take a few nice relaxing breaths (breathe in for three seconds, hold for three and exhale for six) and dare your mind to let the bladder empty. It won't and you'll learn from the experience.

Best wishes

Paul

[ladymillion]

Paul, Thank you for your reply. I know in my mind that it wont happen but when i am really anxious i convince myself that it will and obviously due to anxiety the bladder muscles feel as if i need to go right away. My therapist has said that tensing makes the feeling worse.

It is so hard to get over. It is holding me back in life and makeing me miserable. I am beginning to wonder if i will EVER overcome it.

I will certainly take on your advice and try this out. I appreciate your help.

Thank you.

[RichieSwansea]

Very similar position, had a nine hour training course last week with 25 people around a table, i have GAD and social phobia and i always go red it terrifies me,

Got through it OK like, when i can feel my mind racing, i tend to dedicate like a minute to concentrate on my breathing, or some times stretching my legs out and trying to do muscle relaxation under the desk (try not to kick your boss sitting opposite)

Hope that's of some help, any problems let me know,

Kind regards

Richie

ps. I pretty much have to dehydrate myself to a prune as i will go red if i have to get up and leave to go the toilet

[ladymillion]

Thanks for your reply also Richie, I am really scared about it and i think the build up of worry will lead to disaster!! I just want to overcome this. Typing this is making me anxious because i am thinking of the situation.

[RichieSwansea]

Hi LadyMillion,

I'm exactly the same as you lol, perhaps even worse, i dread training courses for days/weeks before and haaaaaaate being put on the spot.... i try to tell myself these days that no matter what happens the day after (well sometimes the day after that) that it wont really mean that much anymore.

Unfortunately being this way makes it a little hard to actually learn on a training course lol, apart from teaching myself how to be anxious....

I have the constant worry of people noticing that something is bothering me or that im freaking out, going red does not really help disguise it lmao....

I know this is not a very good answer and makes the problem persist and i cant say that i know your bladder very well, but i try and understand how much i drink in a day and what the likelihood of needing the toilet will be over a set period of time ( I would have thought the chance of your actually wetting yourself would be very very low for 22) perhaps try searching this on Google and you may be surprised how unlikely it is to happen....

If you ever want to chat etc. let me know dudette...

This probably wont help lol, but rest assured your not alone :)

Kind regards

Richie

[ladymillion]

Hi Richie,

I have been so stressed and anxious lately all because i know i have this course coming up and more on the way. It is really depressing me. I hate it because i am too embarrased to tell people. To other people i am just a normal happy go lucky girl, they dont know how anxious and panicky i am.

It is good advice to think that no matter how bad the course may be, i will be ok the next day. I really appreciate your advice and if i can help you with anything then i would be happy to do so.

Take care :)