Hi I'm new

[Stands mum]

Hello I'm new here. I am 36 yrs old with two little boys.

I am currently experiencing health anxiety (currently convinced I have MND/ALS) and it's really starting to get me down. It all started with a numb heel and numb patch on my thumb, but over the last 3 or 4 months it has developed (I have developed it?!) into tingling in my legs (so I thought I had MS) and then muscle twitching, so now I am on to MND and constantly checking for signs of weakness - this week I am convinced it's my left arm which is aching after minor exertion (or carrying the baby around etc). I am plagued by thoughts that I won't see my boys grow up.

I have decided to pay for a private neurology consultation in the hope of getting some peace of mind. However, there is a big part of me aware that so many of my symptoms could be linked to anxiety, and even if they aren't that my response to them is out of proportion.

So I have a couple of questions, firstly, I had my second baby about six months ago and am wondering if this is a type of post natal depression/anxiety - has anyone experienced this?

And secondly, presuming that that neuro tells me this is all begnin and fuelled by anxiety, what experiences do you have of going to see your GP about health anxiety itself? Particularly GPs who are a bit fed up of seeing your face?! I did the health anxiety questionnaire and scored about 28/30.

Thanks for reading.

[LindsayD]

Hi, my name is Lindsay and I have only been on here a few days. I two have two young children, age 6 and 5. My first experience with anxiety was four years ago following the death of a close family member. I started to experience headaches, muscle twitches, numbness and tingling in my finger and feet. I also became really sensitive to noise, for example the phone ringing would vibrate through my whole body! I convinced myself that I had MS and things slowly went downhill from there. I had tests and scans which all came back negative and was sent home from hospital and told to rest and it was probably a virus. My health anxieties returned with a vengeance within days of returning home from hospital and it was at this stage that my GP presecribed diazapam (on a short term basis) and beta-blockers. These gave my nervous system the much needed rest it needed and over the next three/four months I finally started to get my life back. There is a book by Dr Claire Weekes which I found on Amazon that changed my life and showed me that all of the symptoms I had been experiencing were anxiety based and even though it was incredibly difficult at first, my brain began to believe it too. I have been almost anxiety free since this time until a couple of weeks ago when a bout of acute toncilitis has brought all the old fears of illness/dying flooding back. I have now discovered this site and there are so many lovely people offering support.
In answer to your first question, in my case I feel that my anxieties surrounding health have been magnified intensely after becoming a mum. I fear leaving my little ones without a mum and find myself dwelling on what life would be like for them and how they would cope growing up. I'm sure all mums feel this way but I guess some of us have brains that tend to dwell on the worst possible scenarios.
Secondly, last week I visited the GP 4 times in 5 days so yes, I'm certain my GP was fed up of seeing me but he was very supportive. he has always been honest though and said that other than putting me on the waiting llist for counselling, the only thing he can offer me is medication. I am now on beta-blockers again and these (as before) stop my panic and therefore stop some of the physical symptoms. Im sure they do not work for everyone but I find they allow my nervous system a rest which in turn allows me to relax, do things to take my mind off my anxieties and basically be the attentive mum that my two little ones need.
Sometimes I think I'm a failure and that my two children do not deserve this, why can't they have a mum who functions properly?!?!
Please don't despair, there is light at the end of the tunnel even if it does seem bleak now. Please PM me if you need to chat :hugs:

[justina]

I recognize so much of what you both write. I have three children and lately I am convinced I Will die from them within a year or two. I constantly worry about this. My fear is cancer and I feel like I am doomed. I just wish I'll live until they are bigger and don't need me so much.
I am having CBT but I am convinced that I am seriously ill so I can't focus.

[LindsayD]

Hi Justina, I know just how you feel. I feel like I should be enjoying every minute of their childhood but I find myself consumed by thoughts of being taken away from them and what sort of like they would have without a mum. I have never tried CBT. I did have counselling for grief four years ago though. Do you think the CBT is helping/has it helped in the past?
Big hugs :hugs:

[justina]

Hi Justina, I know just how you feel. I feel like I should be enjoying every minute of their childhood but I find myself consumed by thoughts of being taken away from them and what sort of like they would have without a mum. I have never tried CBT. I did have counselling for grief four years ago though. Do you think the CBT is helping/has it helped in the past?
Big hugs :hugs:

CBT is not really helping me because I am too convinced I am seriously ill, I think CBT works better when you manage to look at your fears without "living" them, if only for a short while.
What kind of counselling did you have for grief? My HA started with a grief (my father died of cancer). In the end it's all about fear of dying, isn't it? I am not afraid of death as such. I fear leaving my children alone :(
:bighug1:

[Stands mum]

Thanks for your replies - I am so up and down with this at the moment, but I hate the way it's negatively impacting on our family life. I feel like I can't enjoy anything properly.