How should I cope? Being in a family that doesn't understand my my emetophobia.

[Rls1994]

Hiya guys,

I'm feeling down at the moment (as usual) because I just got shouted at by parents as I refused to take my anti-depressents due to possible side effects like nausea and vomiting which I told them about. They say 'So? No one likes being sick, but they get on with it. Why can't you?' or something along those lines. :weep:

I'm apparently annoying them so much because of my obsessive thoughts about vomiting, and I don't blame them. Thing is, I didn't CHOOSE to be like this... I want to be normal and be able to do things I wouldn't do now. I am super anxious at the moment because the Norovirus goes around this time of the year and I'm scared to death of catching it, or seeing anyone in my family go down with it. And everyone thinks I'm just weak or pathetic because of that, because to them, vomiting is something extremely trivial.

I SO wish I had another phobia like of heights or spiders, because least they can be avoided. But once you have the Norovirus, vomiting is usually unevitable... If Norovirus did not exist, my emetophobia would be SO much better. In fact, I think I wouldn't have it at all anymore.

I can't deal with this anymore. The last straw was 2 months ago when I was feeling nauseous non stop for a week and I just wanted to end my life. I can't see a psychiatrist until the 17th December, so I don't know what I can do until then... I'm sick of living everyday in anxiety and worried I may vomit or go down with the horrible Norovirus, or seeing someone else in my family catch it.

Does anyone have some advice for me to take? I've tried playing games and stuff, but it's still there in my mind.

Thanks.

edit: If a mod could remove the extra 'my' in the topic title, I would appreciate it haha.

[Starmist]

Hi there,
I also have emetophobia, but not quite as bad as yourself.
I also have agoraphobia so although I am worried about the norovirus I'm not as worried
as I could be as I have limited contacted with other people. My partner never gets ill I've been with him 4 years and he's had a cold once. My family only visit once a week so I know they wouldn't come round if they were ill.

I feel like my family feel the same about my thoughts on vomiting.. everyone says to me, no one likes being sick, but it just happens sometimes. They can't understand my complete fear of it. Since I've moved out it's got worse. I don't drink alcohol, go on rollercoasters and throw out any food that's been in my fridge and the expiry date is gone even on things like jams etc. Raw chicken is my worst fear ever, we have a wooden chopping board and my partner has now learnt not to cut chicken on it as the germs get into the wood and you can't get them out.. so I cut the chicken with a knife and fork on a plate and end up washing my hands at least 3 times after I've put it in the pan..

My agoraphobia stems from my fear of vomiting so I've trapped by it really..

Are you are sickly person? I thought I was, but I can't remember the last time I vomited and one time I felt sick I chewed gum and it stopped me feeling sick, so everytime I feel it I chew gum...
Sorry if I haven't helped, but it's nice to speak to someone who I can relate to :)

[Rls1994]

Hiya Starmist! Thank you for the reply, it's lovely to speak to others who actually do understand what I'm going through, and to know I'm not alone out there.

I'm the exact same as you. I'm always checking expiry dates on foods and even if it's something like bread which is a day out of date, I'll still throw it away. I feel as if I'm being too cautious, but it's better to be safe than sorry. :)

But yeah, I am definitely a sicky person lol. I haven't thrown up in several years but some days I'm feeling sick constantly. The nauseous feeling can be terrible though, and it frustrates me. :weep: You are right though, chewing gum or mints seem to help me quite a lot when I'm feeling sick.

[Starmist]

It's the worst part about the phobias. Having someone to talk to who understands. I am trying to see a councillor, but she herself is 'off sick' so I'm no where further forward.
I totally agree with you on the food thing, I have to do it when my partner is at work else I'm sure he'll make me eat it! He eats stuff past the sell by date and he NEVER gets ill. I know if I were to eat it I would be ill.. sods law!

It's been hard for me, because it's caused me to become agoraphobic so I'm slowly going insane being stuck indoors :(

[Rls1994]

Oh, I can totally relate to you on that!

I rarely go out these days, as I'm worried about being sick outside or catching that horrible Norovirus. I'm going to sound pathetic but I'd rather die than ever be sick again, my phobia of it is that bad.

I hope you get to see your councillor very soon, I have to wait and try coping until the 17th December to see mine. :weep:

[Starmist]

I got an appointment date for the 26th so before you, but I'm sure what with December coming it'll zoom right to there for you :)

I'm not too worried about catching the virus as I know my partner only works with one other person and if he were ill he wouldn't come in and my partner wouldn't catch it etc.

Some days I think like that, but other days I think sometimes I wish I could be sick so I can realise it's not that bad... even though it is to me :S

[Tessar]

Rls1994; I know exactly what you mean. If people dont have the phobia they just wont understand.
It took 2 yrs for me to pluck up courage to mention this phobia to my therapist. i only said it because i was going to get on a plane (i was scared of flying because of it, i didnt want to do this hideous thing - let alone in front of other people who weould then think i'd a horrible, horrible person who cant control themselves). she was shocked that i'd withheld feelings from her for that length of time but i did explain i didnt want to "contaminte" my sessions talking about it. she made me face it, not very nice, but necessary. The made me use the v word.
in the end, distracting myself has been the key for me. i used to get very intrusive thoughts non stop; particularly around bedtime. now, if the thoughts start i just shout (in my mind) STOP!!!! I do stop them because i know i'll just end up in a state if i dont. that probaby doesnt sound like much of a technique but it's helped. also sometimes just facing facts. being practical about it rather than allowing my thought to escalate out of control. thing is, i am masses better than i used to be because of the hlep i had but when i am under alot of stress (like at the moment) the fear returns (not as bad as before). The amount of stress it gives me does fluctuate depending on if i get exposed to something/someone i see as a threat. Sounds so dramatic i know but that's how it is sometimes.
i dont like admitting the phobia to anyone. my partner knows becasue i needed to explain some of my odd behaviour. they sometimes point out that i go to great lengths to 'prevent it' & then I do something else that amazes them because whatever I touched might be dirty (or i put something that could be dirty on a work surface in the kitchen....etc). Really there's no rhyme or reason to it & I am aware of that. I still find I'm always using hand gel as well & make my partner use it too. We have shared handtowels in work & i wont use them. One reason i never wanted children is because they get sick. oh and there'd be morning sickness too. The list goes on!
i also do the whole checking expiry dates on foods... & yes i'm always better safe than sorry. i went veggie partly because meat carries germs. i refused to visit my partners mother in hospital becasue noro virus was on the ward. I got really angry with her because she tried to make my partner go when they'd closed the ward. I actually dont get on with their mother that well but absolutely put my foot down about it. There was no way she was going to put me at risk, no way. I thought she was soooooooo selfish making people visit.
I feel I'm being very brave talking about this because I get quite supersticious/paranoid but you see, I have realised that talking about it will not bring it on. That is actually irrational. I wont read posts that are yukky; to me this sort of post is different. We're just talking about the fear & measures we go to, to avoid it. That's different. The more you focus on other things, the more it will help. I know you've tried some distractions but maybe you really need to lose youreself in something that will use your whole mind up. I'm terrible for being able to sit working but also think about other things. Luckily I can put my headphones in & listen to music when working; this stops the extra thoughts in their tracks, i wouldnt be able to think about 3 things at once!
Hope I havent gone on too much but thought maybe this might make you feel better!

[Rls1994]

@ Starmist. Same! I never thought I would say this but, sometimes I just wish whenever I felt nauseous I would just throw up, so I'd feel much better afterwards and realise the whole act was nothing to worry about. In fact, I think feeling nauseous is a lot worse than being sick itself. Lol, I don't remember how it feels as I have not been sick in many years now. :P

@Tessar. Wow! You just wrote it how I would do! I also did not tell anyone about this phobia for a long time as I was worried I would be labelled as a freak, weak and pathetic. I remember telling some friends before about it. they said "Oh. But no one likes being sick". There's a difference between not liking something and having an intense fear over it! I also remember when one of my friends threw up in college, I told them the nicest way possible to keep away from me as whatever they had might be contagious, that's when I got called 'weird' and it upsetted me. :weep: Turns out later that their stomach lining was weak, which was causing their pains and vomiting. So I had worried about them having the Norovirus and me catching it for nothing!

Before I left college, I also used to take hand wipes and all the rest to keep my hands clean from the virus. I later found out that wipes and gel don't kill the virus. :unsure: Thankfully, that dreaded Norovirus wasn't going around at the time, so I was lucky!

I just wished that I didn't have this stupid, frustrating and depressing phobia. It's always on my mind now and I'm always worried I'm going to throw up eventually, although I never do. I've even had 2 nightmares about it in a row now! I woke up relieved it was only a bad nightmare.

But yes, you are definitely right. No one in my family has this phobia, or any phobia for that matter. So they wouldn't know what I'm going through or anything, which is kinda upsetting as I always go to them first if anything is wrong.