Anxious lu
17-11-12, 19:05
So today has been strange.
At work I started to concentrate on my speaking and it made me really anxious. In this I started to concentrate on my breathing which to me felt hollow.. I dont really now how to describe it.. all of a sudden came the rush of adrenaline the thumping heart beat.. I took myself away and calmed myself down told myself to sort it out and get back down to work. I couldnt stop shaking my hands were going like crazy..
Settled down and felt fine. Then when on the bus home I had this sudden and immediate urge to text my dad and tell him that he must look after himself and watch his cholesterol or he will have a stroke or a heart attack.. I was panicking so much that something might happen to him that I felt another attack coming. I managed to get that under control.
It seems like my severe health anxiety to myself has settled down a bit (not gone) and I am now worrying about everyone around me. My sister has a bad back.. does she have cancer which has spread, that 47 year old had a stroke my dad will probably have a stroke, My stepmum's mum had breast cancer and her mum before her so that means my stepmum and sister will both get it?? I got off the bus to walk home wanting to just cry!
Background info.. I lost my mum ten year ago abruptly when I was ten years old.. I wonder if this has had more of an effect on me that I realise as my biggest fear is losing the people I love..
At work I started to concentrate on my speaking and it made me really anxious. In this I started to concentrate on my breathing which to me felt hollow.. I dont really now how to describe it.. all of a sudden came the rush of adrenaline the thumping heart beat.. I took myself away and calmed myself down told myself to sort it out and get back down to work. I couldnt stop shaking my hands were going like crazy..
Settled down and felt fine. Then when on the bus home I had this sudden and immediate urge to text my dad and tell him that he must look after himself and watch his cholesterol or he will have a stroke or a heart attack.. I was panicking so much that something might happen to him that I felt another attack coming. I managed to get that under control.
It seems like my severe health anxiety to myself has settled down a bit (not gone) and I am now worrying about everyone around me. My sister has a bad back.. does she have cancer which has spread, that 47 year old had a stroke my dad will probably have a stroke, My stepmum's mum had breast cancer and her mum before her so that means my stepmum and sister will both get it?? I got off the bus to walk home wanting to just cry!
Background info.. I lost my mum ten year ago abruptly when I was ten years old.. I wonder if this has had more of an effect on me that I realise as my biggest fear is losing the people I love..