View Full Version : Ambushed...
Hi everyone,
Not sure if I should really be posting in this section, but I feel the need to vent a little bit...
My Mum text me last night and said she would be coming round to visit me with my Aunt tomorrow. I looked forward to this visit as I rarely get to see them with me being housebound at present!
However, they walked in the door this morning and said 'Right, we're here to take you out, come on put your shoes on'.
BOOM! Broke down, tears, shaking etc... I know they want to help me, but that really didn't help! Just expecting me to be able to leave today, when I haven't been able to for the last 8 months. I feel like I'm pretty selfish right now as I know they meant well, but I can't help feel like they planned it behind my back :(
My Mum even said she'd been to the Doctor (she's having physio on her leg) and mentioned me and how my CBT councillor hasn't been round as she was off sick and whatever should be do if she cancels again.
I love my family, but I can't help feel like they're butting in!!! I'm not a child anymore and I know it's been hard for everyone (so they keep saying) but they don't know how it's been for me!
Baaah! I'm done now ! I hope you guys are having good days, despite this awful weather we have right now... feel like I need to take a nap!
Hannah xxx
It's just their way of showing that they love and care for you.:)
I know what you mean, my mum kept phoning last week asking me to go shopping and then for a meal and I was saying "No, I don't want to" The more she asked the more I didn't want to go!! I know she was just trying to help me but it did make it harder for me xx
It reduced my Aunt to tears as she feels like I am a prisoner. I had issues when I was a child about not going to school, I could go everywhere, but school and it made my Mum so ill with worry about me. I don't want to make her ill again, I know she has trouble sleeping thinking about me!
When I've thought about it since then I felt like I should have just said yes and at least try, the fact that I just no I don't want to and then used the weather as an excuse has kind of made me embarrassed :S
Monday can't come quick enough. It's been over 3 weeks since my last appointment with my councillor and like i've said in a previous post it's only been 'introduction' sessions.
I'm going to ask her whether we can have weekly appointments as opposed to fortnightly so I can get more sessions in before Xmas and hopefully manage to at least get to my Aunts on xmas day with the rest of the family...
Does anyone have any recommendations for online CBT courses? I'd like to do as much as possible and hope that I haven't left it too late!
Thanks for you replies :) x
http://cognitivetherapyonline.com/cbt4panic/?hop=nmpanic
Hi Hannah, poor u , now you'll feel guilty that you made them feel bad!!!! For goodness sake, maybe it's from my own head banging experience BUT anxiety when it's severe, is such a delicate process to deal with!?! I really get from your post that they seriously just wanted to help and bless them BUT I relate to you & what an awful and awkward situation!:wall:
Maybe if this ever happens again in future, just tell them you'll try next wk , I'll let u know how I'm feeling, so that this gives U the time to think things through.
Otherwise families have to understand that this is a process that ONLY the person suffering with it , can call all the shots on things like, going out etc. It's so hard and I really can tell they were just doing what they thought was best BUT really, if you'd have gone out and panicked , this could have set you back massively. For another 8 months. So on that note & for there own sake next time they should discuss it with you!
:hugs:
Hi Col!
Yes that is exactly how I felt. I really wish they could've told me, I don't like surprises as it is! Unless it's wrapped in pretty paper with ribbons round it! Lol. They're tired of seeing me inside so I guess they want to help. Like you say though I really wish they could've discussed it with me!
I'm seeing my councillor on Monday so i'm really hoping to make a step in the right direction!
My Mum & my Nan are coming round this afternoon, but I know they will just come round for a cuppa and leave!
Hannah x
Hi Hannah dont feel disheartened that u didnt go out today u go when ur ready.You cant be forced.I never used to go out up until about 3 months ago i was housebound for 6 months i was even frightened to open my front door let alone face anybody so ur doing really well for seeing ur family thats something to be proud of an achievement.When u do start going out maybe keep an success diary write down all the things u can do despite how u feel.When i first started going out i used to just go the end of my drive then back in the house again,then out to my back gate,then to the road infront of my house,then a little further down the road til eventually i can go in a local shop its took time and i have my dad with me but he says we can go home when u want no pressure this helps me as it gives me more determination to stay out.Ive still got a long way to go but u will overcome this.Wish i could guide u along i know how scary it feels.You will be ok nothing bad will happen to u just need to take baby steps.I still have home therapy.Im here if u need me
claire x
Thank you Claire,
I'm so very grateful for everyones response! I really like the idea of keeping a success diary, I quite like writing things down so I think this would really help me! It's good to hear you story, I feel like i've only been inside for a few weeks, but next Saturday it will be 10 months... It's scary as I cannot believe how quickly time has flown by! Looking forward to Monday and the next counselling session! Hopefully will finally get some tips on here to what I should be doing next! Felt let down by the NHS so far, but fingers crossed I can progress from now!
I had a good day today as I walked out the front of my house and fetched my dustbins in. They leave them right on the street and there were people walking past as it was school run time. Felt quite proud of my little achievement! To celebrate we had a dominos for tea! Yum yum!
Hello well done for going out to ur dust bin good for u what an achievement thats one for ur success diary already.You can do it.It will get easier as time goes on and u will get more confident as u practice.No pressure on yourself one day at a time.Counselling will help aswell and cbt hopefully now u will have the professional help to support u along the way.You will get there
claire x
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