chrisalexander1985
25-11-12, 12:28
Hey
To cut a long story short, I suffered from a severe anxiety attack in 2008 because I thought I had some kind of incurable disease. Anyway about 1 month later I found out it was all fine and then I started crying uncontrollably. I constantly thought about death and the death of my parents or family and kept basically asking '' well whats the point in this if all that hapens is you die '' etc etc. Anyway, I went to my families in England for a few weeks to just relax. I spent 4 days in bed and eventually I decided that enough was enough and forced myself to get up and sort myself out. Gradually I returned to normal... Even to this day however I cannot listen to certain songs that I remember hearing from then... I cannot watch certain things on TV from then either. During this time the doc gave me anti-depressants and they made me go completely mad. They made me feel 10 times worse so after taking two I stopped them.
After this, I would get a little down for the occasional day but I was pretty much completely back to normal after this episode. I dealt with the suicide of my cousin '' normally '' and various other things. I didnt regress back to being a wreck.
So fast forward to June 2012. Things have been terrible with my ex who I have a dog with. Things have been bad since about December 2011. Up untill June, I dealt with everything pretty normally... feeling a bit down int he dumps but nothing in comparison to feeling depressed. I went to Newcastle in the April and drank for three days with my mates and had a really good time. I went out drinking again on Friday June 1st..... when I awoke on the Saturday...I was in full fight or flight mode and all the trimmings. I walked around a park for about 4 hours with my dog because, even after I told me ex what was happening and asked if she could take him, she said '' sorry, But im going away on holiday ''... she didnt care. So I had to put up with that nastyness too. I just walked and walked and cried and cried.... severely down and seriously thinking I was about to die and it was the end of the world. It was basically just a repeat of 2008.
Let me just say.... I started to feel anxious even being around my dog...or even hearing my ex name being mentioned in any shape or form. It set me off completely in the same way if I listen to certain songs from back in 2008 etc.
Anyway.. I went to the doctor who said, and I quote '' I can tell your not depressed just by talking to you. Its the anxiety that is bringing on these symptoms of feeling hopeless ''...
And like last time... It took about a month and going to stay with family....and it gradually faded away.
When I got back, I met somoene new because I forced myself to move on because my ex wanted nothing to do with me and was just nasty. As soon as she heard she was back saying how she would do anything and all this stuff. I gace it a try but the things were still there...She would ignore me when she was out... she would tell me that at half 9 it was too late to see me, yet go out with her mates till mid night etc. And I managed it fine... and then about a week ago... I felt pretty full from eating and was watching a bid on Ebay..and BOOM, from nowhere with no stimulus, I was in full flight or flight mode again.
The difference? It was one attack... and then after about 3 days it started to fade... and then BOOM again... I had another attack... but this time as opposed to feeling down about my ex... I started to have all the feelings about death and stuff from back in 2008. Its a really confusing thing for me to deal with.
I have thse attacks... then after wards its like having a hang over..I feel sharp pains in my temples and a low mode... mixed in with a few hours here and there of feeling completely fine and my interests return.
Symptoms
Feeling of sheer dread...
Feeling of not wanting to be alone....
Feeling guilty about things in the past....
Wanting to be near my family....
But then... when this is not happening.. im just chilled :/ then after a while the feelings return.
Has anyone got any expereince of this stuff? Does it sound familiar to anyone at all? I just want to know what the hell is wrong with me and how to fix it :( Im sorry for the long post....
Chris
To cut a long story short, I suffered from a severe anxiety attack in 2008 because I thought I had some kind of incurable disease. Anyway about 1 month later I found out it was all fine and then I started crying uncontrollably. I constantly thought about death and the death of my parents or family and kept basically asking '' well whats the point in this if all that hapens is you die '' etc etc. Anyway, I went to my families in England for a few weeks to just relax. I spent 4 days in bed and eventually I decided that enough was enough and forced myself to get up and sort myself out. Gradually I returned to normal... Even to this day however I cannot listen to certain songs that I remember hearing from then... I cannot watch certain things on TV from then either. During this time the doc gave me anti-depressants and they made me go completely mad. They made me feel 10 times worse so after taking two I stopped them.
After this, I would get a little down for the occasional day but I was pretty much completely back to normal after this episode. I dealt with the suicide of my cousin '' normally '' and various other things. I didnt regress back to being a wreck.
So fast forward to June 2012. Things have been terrible with my ex who I have a dog with. Things have been bad since about December 2011. Up untill June, I dealt with everything pretty normally... feeling a bit down int he dumps but nothing in comparison to feeling depressed. I went to Newcastle in the April and drank for three days with my mates and had a really good time. I went out drinking again on Friday June 1st..... when I awoke on the Saturday...I was in full fight or flight mode and all the trimmings. I walked around a park for about 4 hours with my dog because, even after I told me ex what was happening and asked if she could take him, she said '' sorry, But im going away on holiday ''... she didnt care. So I had to put up with that nastyness too. I just walked and walked and cried and cried.... severely down and seriously thinking I was about to die and it was the end of the world. It was basically just a repeat of 2008.
Let me just say.... I started to feel anxious even being around my dog...or even hearing my ex name being mentioned in any shape or form. It set me off completely in the same way if I listen to certain songs from back in 2008 etc.
Anyway.. I went to the doctor who said, and I quote '' I can tell your not depressed just by talking to you. Its the anxiety that is bringing on these symptoms of feeling hopeless ''...
And like last time... It took about a month and going to stay with family....and it gradually faded away.
When I got back, I met somoene new because I forced myself to move on because my ex wanted nothing to do with me and was just nasty. As soon as she heard she was back saying how she would do anything and all this stuff. I gace it a try but the things were still there...She would ignore me when she was out... she would tell me that at half 9 it was too late to see me, yet go out with her mates till mid night etc. And I managed it fine... and then about a week ago... I felt pretty full from eating and was watching a bid on Ebay..and BOOM, from nowhere with no stimulus, I was in full flight or flight mode again.
The difference? It was one attack... and then after about 3 days it started to fade... and then BOOM again... I had another attack... but this time as opposed to feeling down about my ex... I started to have all the feelings about death and stuff from back in 2008. Its a really confusing thing for me to deal with.
I have thse attacks... then after wards its like having a hang over..I feel sharp pains in my temples and a low mode... mixed in with a few hours here and there of feeling completely fine and my interests return.
Symptoms
Feeling of sheer dread...
Feeling of not wanting to be alone....
Feeling guilty about things in the past....
Wanting to be near my family....
But then... when this is not happening.. im just chilled :/ then after a while the feelings return.
Has anyone got any expereince of this stuff? Does it sound familiar to anyone at all? I just want to know what the hell is wrong with me and how to fix it :( Im sorry for the long post....
Chris