thoughts

[maximus1975]

felt pretty good today played snooker today with my brother at lunchtime then of for a 40 min power walk followed by a cuppa and cgat at my grans , still getting negative thoughts i keep comparing myself to everyone including family.
my auntie turned up at grans and said they have just had a great time away up country instead of me thinking thats great!! the first thought that comes into my head id i couldnt do that i dont even get a choice the thought has hit me and done its damage before i get chance to rid it.
where were these thoughts a few years ago when i was skiing , sailing ,or chillin on the beach .
did booze change my brain chemistry? are these negative thoughts always gunna pop into my head?
i guess playing snooker this morning was better than wakeing up and having some cider to get over my hangover.
my gran actually said to me i remember you going of to france and doing ski seasons on your own , but now you cant go fishing 20 miles away with your friends!!! i dont have an answer to that other than i let my first panic attack 12 years ago affect me way further than it should of.
i flicked onto robbie williams interview then concert here is a guy thats had depression and attacks , how an earth is he able to perform in front of 70,0000 people without the thought of i may have to leave the stage if he has a panic attack.
im afraid thats the way my thinking is at the moment always thinking about the what if's with my negative crystal ball .
i will be discussing this when a cpn nurse visits me at home tomorrow .what i would give to have my thought process of old when i could do whatever i wanted whenever i wanted

[BobbyDog]

I have had a lot of similar life experiences to yourself. I spent 3 months on a desert island, ran with the bulls in Pamplona etc etc.
Like you, the booze was my best friend for a long time. I now take pleasure in the small things that happen in my life, my values have changed, it has taken me a long time to get to this point. When I go out in the autumn I am overwhelmed by the colours of fallen leaves from the trees, I stop and watch the birds, I love to see my dogs wagging tails as they run around the fields, I could go on but it would get very boring.

Perhaps you need to be more mindful and be thankful for what you have had in the past and what the world around you now has to offer.

Also, be very proud of yourself for being able to conquer the demon booze, most people try and try and still fail.

[maximus1975]

must admit im very proud that i have totally given up drinking , i just hate the way i seem to be quite agrophobic at the moment i seem to have a lot of mental blocks saying you cant do that !!! i guess its been 5 weeks since my last binge so i have to give it time i didnt drink for 12 weeks before that . so my old confidence boosting friend booze is no more .
before i got band for drink driving this year ( got pulled over the nxt morning )i was driving for years and never drank and drove so i have had long spells of being panic free guess i need to find that person again my mum says to me im no where near as anxious as i used to be but says she's rarely seen me so low,
i think thats the main problem im feeling very lonely and very sorry for myself everything that could have gone wrong has. a lot of my friends are good drinkers so ive had distance myself from them for the time being , im jelous of just about everyone i no

[BobbyDog]

must admit im very proud that i have totally given up drinking , i just hate the way i seem to be quite agrophobic at the moment i seem to have a lot of mental blocks saying you cant do that !!! i guess its been 5 weeks since my last binge so i have to give it time i didnt drink for 12 weeks before that . so my old confidence boosting friend booze is no more .
before i got band for drink driving this year ( got pulled over the nxt morning )i was driving for years and never drank and drove so i have had long spells of being panic free guess i need to find that person again my mum says to me im no where near as anxious as i used to be but says she's rarely seen me so low,
i think thats the main problem im feeling very lonely and very sorry for myself everything that could have gone wrong has. a lot of my friends are good drinkers so ive had distance myself from them for the time being , im jelous of just about everyone i no
I experienced all the same feelings as you, why me? why can everybody else have a drink and stop and I can't? I was jealous of everybody. I had to rethink my whole life, all my friends and family were drinkers. It is not going to be easy, but if you give in at any time, don't go on a guilt trip, you are only human.
All the best.:yesyes: