I thought I would feel better after seeing a dermatologist - I was wrong!

[lo89]

Hi,
I finally had a dermatology appointment last week after waiting for over two months. She told me that my mole doesn't show any signs of melanoma but it is very large, and the speckles which I see on it are just bits of hair dye or something as I am so scared to damage it I barely rinse that area when I do dye my hair. I even let her rub it with a sterilising wipe and she got some of the particles off - that is a miracle for me as I hate people even looking at it nevermind touching it!
She said that I have developed a real phobia of this mole and I would benefit from a psychologist who can help me develop coping strategies to let people touch it and look at it. I think this will be really helpful!
She is saying that her plan is to get the mole cleared up completely and then give me a set of pictures away so I can monitor it myself as it has grown quite a bit in the last 10 years (then again, so have I!)
There is also a small 'warty' part which she wants to remove - apparently not because it is suspicious tho. This is really making me panic though! Also I want the whole mole removed but she said it will not be possible without getting a balloon inflated under my skin or a skin graft due to the size, and this is major surgery, which carries more of a risk than the mole itself.
I am now worrying about the following-
Why I need to go back in 4 months
Why I need some of my mole removed
Why my mole has grown so much
What will happen if it does become melanoma, since it is too large to remove

Can someone please help me relax =[

[Elle-Kay]

If it became a melanoma (which it won't - she is the expert, and says it isn't a problem, so you need to trust her) then they would definitely remove it, regardless of size.

[Annie0904]

It will be the type of mole that will not develop into a melanoma...most moles don't so don't worry about that. I guess you don't have to have part of the mole removed but it will look better if it is. My husband had a warty bit on his on his face and had it removed at the cryo clinic. Certain moles do grow a bit. I have one on my back that grew as I did (had it since birth) She will want to see you in 4 months I guess to see about the removal of the warty bit I guess. They have told you it is nothing to worry about so believe that. xx

[lo89]

Well if she is confident it won't become a melanoma then why do I need to go back in 4 months?
I guess you are right about the removal though. Thing is, I would still go through with removing it now. If I had the breast cancer gene I would get my breasts removed, so I don't see why they won't remove a mole when I have lots of large/irregular moles?
Thanks Annie - it is on my scalp so no one sees it so I don't see why they would want to make it look better. She did say something about the type of mole and it not being the melanoma kind, but can they tell that without a biopsy?

[Elle-Kay]

If you requested specifically to have it removed, they probably would. I have had 4 moles removed now, at my own request, for cosmetic/safety reasons (2 were getting caught/rubbed, and I felt that the other 2 were unsightly and affecting my confidence).

As Annie said, the appointment in 4 months time will be to see about the partial removal, and also to see if your mental attitude towards the mole has improved any since you discussed that with her too.

[lo89]

I might just get it removed - worrying about it had impacted on me doing a lot of things (I haven't dyed my hair in two and a half months as I am convinced the chemicals are giving me melanoma, I haven't even had my hair cut in this time as I am convinced they are going to damage my mole, I can't sleep on my left side as I can't bear the pillow touching it, I can't tie my hair up because I can't bear the 'pulling' feeling on my mole, I can't even brush, dry, or even wash my hair properly as I am so worried about it!) I think removal is the best option cor me - even if I am left with a huge bald patch (don't like the idea of the balloon thing either!)
Partial removal terrifies me too because they might damage the rest of the mole when they are dealing with it.

[almamatters]

I know it is hard but try not to worry, like the previous posts said if they we worried about your mole then they would have told you there and then, I would be reacting just the same as you , but trust the professionals, they know what they are looking at. :hugs:

[lo89]

Thanks Alma I know what everyone is saying is right but I just can't stop. My collar bone has started to ache again which makes it all the worse!

[Frankie123]

I think if this mole is having such a dramatic effect on your life then you should either tell your GP or your consultant. Under those circumstances I believe they would agree to remove it even though it is benign. I think you need to be totally honest and open with them and tell them exactly what you have told us.
I think going back in four months is just standard procedure as with a lot of things. I don't think if there was any chance that it could be malignant would they leave it for four months. They would be taking if off straight away.

[lo89]

I explained this to my doctor who referred me to the dermatologist, he knows about my health anxiety and has been really good about it.
The dermatologist seemed to think I had body dysmorphia and I hate my mole because of the way it looks so I think that is why she is reluctant to remove it. The psychologist might help me cope with people touching it etc mind you!

[southernbelle]

My husband actually had melanoma about five years ago. They thought that it was suspicious at first look & took a biopsy right away. That was on a Thursday. The next day, Friday, they called to tell us that it was melanoma. They then scheduled a removal on the following Tuesday. They didn't waste any time....so yes, if they were concerned, they'd move quickly.

I hope that this helps!

---------- Post added at 23:19 ---------- Previous post was at 23:18 ----------

PS. When we go back for rechecks, they don't biopsy, even on him with his history, unless they deem it a suspicious mole....

And, he's doing very well & we haven't had a recurrence to date!