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BiPolarBear
19-08-06, 20:22
Hi its my first poll, so soz if i have done it wrong

My question is Do All Women Want TO Get Married?

BiPolarBear
19-08-06, 20:27
It is mainly for women but men are welcome to answer as well

I am asking because at the minute i dont want to get married and it seems that everyone around me wants to get married. It seems a little fake to me people who never go to church get married and take all these vows in front of god. Making a vow to someone that you might not keep seems a little strange
Is it a sign of committment? Would you dump a guy if he did not want to get married, have any people here been married and got divorced? What do you think of guys who dont want to get married. If a guy does not want to get married does that mean he does not love you as much as he did

And opinion on this topic are welcome

Cheers for reading
BiPolarBear

nomorepanic
19-08-06, 21:53
Is this in relation to panic and anxiety in anyway or just in general?

Nicola

BiPolarBear
20-08-06, 19:08
A little to do with panic and anxiety but more to do with just a general wondering

Why

diane07
23-10-08, 14:10
Well i'm getting married in may and i am scared.
Firstly because i know i'm gonna have a panic attack whilst saying my vows, then i start thinking do i really want to get married again, but i actually think because i know i'm going to panic, i'm looking for excuses as to not go through with it.

What a wimp i am lol.

Smiley?
23-10-08, 14:21
i want to get married (no plans yet) but not in church because i don't go. I'm more for the commitment thing

The Fool
23-10-08, 15:10
hmmmm well.......i dont think ALL women do becuase you no everyone is different.i no i want to get married but one of my sisters doesnt so yeh i guess it just depends on the person really.

Wolfie
23-10-08, 15:31
I don't want to get married, it's just all conformity and hugely commercialised nowadays. In my opinion, in today's society, marriage isn't what it used to mean. One day you're married, the next it's all over. What's the point of it anymore??

The Fool
23-10-08, 15:34
there is point wolfie people just get married to fast for the glory of the day and with divorce as an option they see no trouble if a marriage goes wrong.

Wolfie
23-10-08, 15:57
Even so, I think it doesn't mean as much as it traditionally did. How's it going to increase commitment? Or strength a relationship? What's the point? To have a certificate saying you're married to so and so? Why????

The Fool
23-10-08, 16:09
well its not so much the certificate thast matters thats just to say you are married by law,if you are serious about marriage (you always should be) then its really about promising to love and stay with each other forever before the eyes of god really.

Oceanblue
23-10-08, 16:12
I think both my bf and I have a great relationship, soul mates too:) .

We've been together for 9 1/2 years and do literally everything together. We have two children. We share the same mates too, which is a bonus as we're all into the same hobbies.

Marriage isn't something I've really thought about to be honest, it's just a piece of paper to me. We show eachother enough love and care to know that we want to stay together, hopefully forever. (Where's the sick bucket ?)...Lol.

Some people can't understand why we've never got married and it seems their concern :shrug: but not ours,.. so long as we're happy together, what's the problem?

Also, another thing. All that money spent on one very stressful day, I find insane !:ohmy: I'd much rather use our cash to holiday with the kids and have some fun.
Each to their own though.

Take it easy.:flowers:

sheena
23-10-08, 16:44
I have been married twice and that was enough for me. Both times I went out to work and still had to do all the housework and looking after the children. Now the children are grown up and I love just being on my own.

Marriage is an institution to me.


Sheena

pinkpiglet
23-10-08, 17:21
I selected 'no' because i never wanted to get married. It has never been a desire of mine to skip down the aisle and i think it is a massive waste of money. However, my partner and i now have a little boy & I do think that it would probably seal our family unit if we were to get married. Still not 100% sure so we will not be rushing into anything but we do say 'maybe one day'.

pooh
23-10-08, 19:03
Human beings are natural serial monogomists so....getting marriage and taking a life time vow is a HUGE commitment however there are certain legal advantages to being a Mr or Mrs in terms of rights if your partner should die.


Pooh x

lennons_mammy
23-10-08, 21:20
Me and my bf have been together for over 4 years and are engaged but have decided we are happy as we are. Why do we need a piece of paper to tell us how we feel about eachother? We know we love each other and we know we want to be together for the rest of our lives.

diane07
24-10-08, 10:23
Wow tetley,

29 years.

That is so lovely to hear.

di xx

Jaco45er
25-10-08, 09:00
Sorry, I think all of you that are not married and living together are SINNERS WHO WILL GO STRAIGHT TO HELL.

Naa only joking ;)

I think marriage is an institution, when you have been married for 19 years like me, you feel like its a mental institution.

IrishPrincess
03-11-08, 16:33
I defo want to get married,partly for the commitment partly for the dress:D lol joking.Just think it's a beautiful thing and much more than a piece of paper,its commiting yourself to someone for the rest of your life and promising to look after and love each other no matter what,im hoping to get married in 2010,we're together nearly 10 years and it prob wont make a diff to our relationship but its something we both want

Cherbear
03-11-08, 19:15
Yes I do and I can't wait till that day in the future when I will :)

eeyorelover
14-11-08, 06:28
I do. Wait I'm not a women, oh knows! And then... who would wanna marry me :P I'm hated by all females ;)


So there for voted no because im male and dont... wanna


You big fibber!!!
You aren't hated by all females cuz last time I checked I was a female and I think you're tops!!!!
;)

Rous
12-02-09, 06:49
I was married for 6 years and i can honestly & truthfully say on my Ex-Wife's behalf No. :D

Mind you she did re-marry. :roflmao:


Rousel, The Quiet Man. (Formerly known as 'Long Talker')

keith113
12-02-09, 13:24
Men marry because they are tired;
women because they are curious:
both are disappointed.

sunshine-lady
12-02-09, 22:55
I got married after living with my now husband for several years. My hubby aske me many times before I agreed. We had a very low key wedding with only 10 people there including us two. I love my husband and the vows and commitment we made are very important to both of us.

Little Miss Anxious
19-03-09, 14:32
I was never particularly bothered about getting married until the guy I am now wed to asked me, we had been together 2 years.....it just instantly felt right to say yes.

I must admit I do love being married now that I am but I certainly would never have preasured him into getting wed if he hadn't proposed. We will have been married one year in April.....& hey I haven't scared him off, yet......................Yaaaaaaaaaay :yahoo:

***leanne***
04-04-09, 03:06
I have been married once and that completely put me off marriage again lol

cheekycharlie
04-04-09, 10:28
I voted no as I don't think all women want to get married at all but I did. I think its a wonderful commitment to make & more than 'just a piece of paper' its about celebrating your love for one & other & not just a party. I do think though a lot of people see weddings as one big party now & not the seriousness its meant to be & I found I had to justify why I wanted to get married in church & not in a hotel as many do now. It was just important to me to be married in the eyes of god but I think wherever you get married its a real wedding & completly up to you. I think with being able to get a divorce now so easily people don't take marriage seriously & thats why people just tend to live together now cos they know they are going to be together forever with or without marriage. x

goingmadder
23-04-09, 14:31
Ok... interesting question and interesting responses...

Heres mine...

In my mind i was always set on the following 2 rules

Never getting married

Never having Kids

I have 2 daughters so rule number 2 flew out of the window... I was in a ver very bad place at the time and in a relationship that reflected this.

I still always maintained I would never get married. I could never understand why anyone in their right mind would want to.. Always called people who were getting married crazy idiots... I've never dreamed of marriage, never envisioned the day in my head or the dress i would wear... You could say i was totally ANTI Marriage...

My reasons.. well

1) I wasn't big on romance, didnt beleive in it much, thought it was all fairytale stuff

2) So many marriages end in Divorce whats the point of bothering at all

3) its just a peice of paper how is that going to make any comittment real?

To name but a few...

Recent events in my life one of which was finding this website have led me to look deep inside and question why i had those thougths and beleifes..

1) I hated romance because i feared it. I feared being loved because i feared losing it, feared not being worthy. This stemed from trauma as a child aswell as terrible Relationship OCD

2) So many people get divorced.. I saw the end before i'd even begun in every relationship i'v ever had. Negative views convinced i would fail in everything i did...

3) Its just a peice of paper.. I feared comittment because i feared the thoughts that came to my mind, feared being trapped in unhappieness. feared that the reality wouldnt live up to the dream..

Again this is just a couple of points... there are many many more...

I met someone who has completely changed my mind. Not just about marriage but about possibly having another baby... I'v been adamant for 7 years I would never have another child or get married... Now Im realising my fears have held me back. I am in love and although i don't go to church, I would like to recite vows of comittment be it in a registry or wherever... Its not about being a hypocrite... I beleive that the action of making these promises to your love infront of those gathered to witness is a massive comittment, and one i am looking forward to making..

For the first time in my life i have dropped all my barrieres I am risking my heart and putting myself out on a limb.

It may well all end in tears... but what if it doesn't what if we can grow old together... what if we can be eachothers better half, make the journey of life together... learn from eachother and help eachother be who we want to be... will the risk not be worth it?

I think so...

I never thought I'd say this BUT... I am ready for marriage.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!!

Peace and hugs

X

patmac
30-04-09, 17:56
hi,
iv been with my partner 7 years, got a morgage 2 kids and a car, but no wedding,
he asks me all the time to get married but whats the point i will love him just the same with my sir name rather than his.
i know people all have diffrent views on weddings.
but i would rather have the money please. :yesyes:

meesh
01-05-09, 12:19
Hi,
I was married now divorced. to scared to go though it again!! I feel it depends on the individual really..

shoegal
01-05-09, 20:04
I am a woman and I would love to get married one day. Unfortunately most of the men I have had relationships with have been anti-marriage and that has caused a great deal of unhappiness for me. I have had a few boyfriends with whom sadly things did not work out... yet at the time they all said they loved me. But where are they now? I think making the commitment to be married to someone means more than just deciding to live with them because it shows that you 'intend' to be with them forever. I would like a 'husband' rather than a 'boyfriend' because it would show that this was the one person I had chosen because he was better than all the rest. There are many reasons why I think marriage is a good thing... for a start the family members will all share the same name which creates a secure family unit (I know you can also feel secure if you're not married, but for some people this adds to that feeling). If you are not married you don't have the same rights as married people... for example if your partner has an accident and needs life saving treatment (or whatever), you will have no say in the decision - only married couples have that right. People who choose NOT to marry may lose their home/posessions/finances if their partner dies, even if they have lived together as a couple for 20 years or more! I personally think it is lovely to wear a wedding ring which tells the world you have chosen to be with one person forever, and it is nice to know that your partner wears their ring with pride because they feel the same way as you do. I also believe that marriage shows a person that you love them and it's a lovely romantic gesture. A marriage is not just a piece of paper, it represents many things for different people. If it is 'just a piece of paper' in your eyes then perhaps you are not someone who should get married? It should mean something to you otherwise it is pointless.
I personally feel let down when partners tell me they don't believe in marriage because it feels as if they are rejecting my values. It makes the relationship seem pointless to me because it isn't going to lead to marriage (which for me means more than just a relationship). I know many people who choose not to get married are very happy, but for me personally it is very important.
Whatever happened to good old fashioned ROMANCE anyway?