fran43
19-08-06, 23:35
Hi to all.
It took 22hrs to get home, numerous flights (and a few alcoholic drinks). Security was endless (especially in Paris). Had to be frisked/ thence a metal detector put on us each. I was absolutely in a unreal world, but my goal was getting home. I thought at home would be the peace I could seek. That is far from the truth, my daughter had altered iobjects etc at home and I did not know/where to how to find them.
When I said I was in recovery from anorexia that was true. Having said that "anyone" can eat, it is the putting on weight and finding clothes that do not fit anymore a mind blowing event. I need professional support (to alter my beliefs etc. I dont know how long that will take.
I am far from recovery from anorexia, tranquilliser addiction, my self-esteem, confidence has been hit big time.
My husband does not understand this, it is like "well we will buy bigger clothes/jumpers etc". It is not that simple.
I fail to understand the NHS and NICE guidelines. A person can be bulimic. Anorexia has a different stance, if you are serously under the BMI scale they think you are OK and doing well. As far as I am concerned it ought not matter about number nor size. It is what is going on inside your head thast counts.
A minute does not go by when I think I am far too fat, ugly, useless etc.
I am going to (finally, say to my doctor, I cant live like this any more). He is a GP (and he is nice) but he is not well informed about anorexia, panic attacks etc.
I will take my next husband with me next week as I clam up at the surgery and fail to emphasise my needs. My husband will certainly tell my GP that what he has recommended is not working.
I wiah at this moment in timw I did not have the responsibility of an 188yr old pregnant daugher nor a 10yr old son. I hate them seeing me like this.
Any suggestions on my posts would be truly received.
Take care of yourself and each other.
FranXX
I try my best to act "normal" with our young son. However, I cannot go on this way anymore. I would rather not be in this world than be responsible for an 18yr pregnant daughter, a 10yr old son and last, but not least, a husband who wont stand me long term in this way. (
I will carry on with posts, members have given me what I needed in the USA. Finally I am back at my home and that is where I want to build up my confidence/self-esteem/confidence etc.
I feel like I am going mad and that family do not need me this way. I have to believe there is a better life out there but it seems a million mles away.
It took 22hrs to get home, numerous flights (and a few alcoholic drinks). Security was endless (especially in Paris). Had to be frisked/ thence a metal detector put on us each. I was absolutely in a unreal world, but my goal was getting home. I thought at home would be the peace I could seek. That is far from the truth, my daughter had altered iobjects etc at home and I did not know/where to how to find them.
When I said I was in recovery from anorexia that was true. Having said that "anyone" can eat, it is the putting on weight and finding clothes that do not fit anymore a mind blowing event. I need professional support (to alter my beliefs etc. I dont know how long that will take.
I am far from recovery from anorexia, tranquilliser addiction, my self-esteem, confidence has been hit big time.
My husband does not understand this, it is like "well we will buy bigger clothes/jumpers etc". It is not that simple.
I fail to understand the NHS and NICE guidelines. A person can be bulimic. Anorexia has a different stance, if you are serously under the BMI scale they think you are OK and doing well. As far as I am concerned it ought not matter about number nor size. It is what is going on inside your head thast counts.
A minute does not go by when I think I am far too fat, ugly, useless etc.
I am going to (finally, say to my doctor, I cant live like this any more). He is a GP (and he is nice) but he is not well informed about anorexia, panic attacks etc.
I will take my next husband with me next week as I clam up at the surgery and fail to emphasise my needs. My husband will certainly tell my GP that what he has recommended is not working.
I wiah at this moment in timw I did not have the responsibility of an 188yr old pregnant daugher nor a 10yr old son. I hate them seeing me like this.
Any suggestions on my posts would be truly received.
Take care of yourself and each other.
FranXX
I try my best to act "normal" with our young son. However, I cannot go on this way anymore. I would rather not be in this world than be responsible for an 18yr pregnant daughter, a 10yr old son and last, but not least, a husband who wont stand me long term in this way. (
I will carry on with posts, members have given me what I needed in the USA. Finally I am back at my home and that is where I want to build up my confidence/self-esteem/confidence etc.
I feel like I am going mad and that family do not need me this way. I have to believe there is a better life out there but it seems a million mles away.