Opinions Please?

[jayjoe18]

Hi all, I just wanted real opinions as all I can find on the internet just seems to conflict and I'm just totally feeling lost at the moment.

Basically, I started with anxiety at about 13-14, I'm now 19 and have gone through the usual - anxiety, panic attacks, hypochondria, OCD, phobias including fear of needing the toilet when out, social phobia, social avoidance etc and now I'm practically housebound and have been for the past few years. I had trouble attending school and eventually dropped out and self-taught, I went to college but only lasted 1 term. I have lost all my child hood friends and have become a shadow of the person I used to be. I'm so unbelievably miserable and feel I'm riddled with anxiety, going round in a constant cycle that I just don't know how to break. I just can't put into words how fed up I am and how hard I find it to sit back and watch everyone get on with their lives whilst I'm unable to do the things I want to (uni, drive etc etc)

Right now, if I didn't have anxiety I would be at Uni, have friends, be able to have a relationship, work, drive, just enjoy life. This is what I want but on the other hand I'm so scared to have it. I'm scared to go back out into the world to the point it makes me feel ill but on the other hand I'm desperate to live again.

I've done therapy in the past and have been back and forth to the doctors for years now, I feel like there's nothing left. My mum has been so supportive but as it's been so long now I feel like I can't talk to her about it all now and ask for her opinion on what I should do as she's heard it all before and nothing has helped. I don't have anyone else to talk to.

I've had CBT in the past but that was soley focused on my health anxiety (it did help and I no longer worry about my health though I do have the understandble little wobbles now and again but it's very rare now).

Last week my doctor prescribed me with Fluoxetine and I've been on the CBT waiting list for a few months now. I'm so afraid to take the medication because of the side effects, I feel like I can't physically swallow them and if I did, I'd have a panic attack.

I know this is long winded but I have so much to get off my chest, I just need some advice on where to go from here, having suffered for maybe more than 5 years now I'm so afraid I'll be like this forever...

[dread]

I know it sounds terrifying, but you have to weigh up the pros and cons. How many panic attacks have you had and how many have been detrimental to your health? None - they can't harm you. So whilst going on to meds is a terrifying thing (believe me I understand) and may increase anxiety to begin with, it's worth the risk...you may find once you've been on them a couple of months that you don't have panic attacks as often at all, and can get back to rebuilding your outside life.

I was on Citalopram for 4 years and over time, I began to stop thinking about anxiety altogether. I could live a normal life (if you can call me normal, hehe) go to work, go shopping, even go to a pub and a get drunk - something I can't do now I am not on meds. Yes it is entirely possible you can have anxiety for life, but with the right medication it is just as treatable as diabetes or other illness where something doesn't work properly. What's the difference?

I know it's scary and it is a big decision - only you can make that decision- but if there's a possibility of it making things better..then it may be worth taking the plunge :)

[lizzie29]

I agree. Going on meds made my anxiety a lot more manageable. I'm not cured and have had to put a lot of hard work in to get where I am, but the meds made me feel able to tackle it. The way I think of it - if I had a physical illness, I wouldn't think twice about taking meds, so why should mental illness be any different?

[jayjoe18]

I know it sounds terrifying, but you have to weigh up the pros and cons. How many panic attacks have you had and how many have been detrimental to your health? None - they can't harm you. So whilst going on to meds is a terrifying thing (believe me I understand) and may increase anxiety to begin with, it's worth the risk...you may find once you've been on them a couple of months that you don't have panic attacks as often at all, and can get back to rebuilding your outside life.

I was on Citalopram for 4 years and over time, I began to stop thinking about anxiety altogether. I could live a normal life (if you can call me normal, hehe) go to work, go shopping, even go to a pub and a get drunk - something I can't do now I am not on meds. Yes it is entirely possible you can have anxiety for life, but with the right medication it is just as treatable as diabetes or other illness where something doesn't work properly. What's the difference?

I know it's scary and it is a big decision - only you can make that decision- but if there's a possibility of it making things better..then it may be worth taking the plunge :)

Thanks very much for your response, that does all make sense it's just so scary for me as I've never ever taken any drug in my life! I was prescribed Prozac but I'm leaning more to the idea of Citalopram as there seems to be more people on this medication than Prozac which makes me feel better about it - If you don't mind me asking (as you have experience with Citalopram) how was you at the start of this drug and what side effects did you get?


I agree. Going on meds made my anxiety a lot more manageable. I'm not cured and have had to put a lot of hard work in to get where I am, but the meds made me feel able to tackle it. The way I think of it - if I had a physical illness, I wouldn't think twice about taking meds, so why should mental illness be any different?

I agree, I've had this said to me before too, if it was a physical illness then I probably wouldn't think twice about getting medical treatment!

[Thumbelina]

I totally support the idea that anxiety, panic depression is just like any other illness. It needs combination of treatments. Would you take medicine for any other illness? So why not to consider medications for anx, panic and depress?
Agree with your doc on a comfortable dose and start gradually.

[jayjoe18]

Thanks Thumbalina, this is a really tough decision for me but your words to make sense

---------- Post added at 13:35 ---------- Previous post was at 13:34 ----------

*do! :)

[dread]

The first time I took citalopram I went in on 20mg. I wont lie, it sent me barking ...BUT I was knew to aanxiety, had NO control over it, and I suffer with derealisation anyway. They lasted about 3 days intense and a few more weeks just mildly. I got leg twitches always but that's just me.
I started cit again two days ago, this time at 10mg and the side effects are barely noticeable.

If youre worried I would start with 5 or 10mg, to ease into it. I would also advise you to read the sticky ' citalopram survival guide' on here.