jayjoe18
01-12-12, 18:01
Hi all, I just wanted real opinions as all I can find on the internet just seems to conflict and I'm just totally feeling lost at the moment.
Basically, I started with anxiety at about 13-14, I'm now 19 and have gone through the usual - anxiety, panic attacks, hypochondria, OCD, phobias including fear of needing the toilet when out, social phobia, social avoidance etc and now I'm practically housebound and have been for the past few years. I had trouble attending school and eventually dropped out and self-taught, I went to college but only lasted 1 term. I have lost all my child hood friends and have become a shadow of the person I used to be. I'm so unbelievably miserable and feel I'm riddled with anxiety, going round in a constant cycle that I just don't know how to break. I just can't put into words how fed up I am and how hard I find it to sit back and watch everyone get on with their lives whilst I'm unable to do the things I want to (uni, drive etc etc)
Right now, if I didn't have anxiety I would be at Uni, have friends, be able to have a relationship, work, drive, just enjoy life. This is what I want but on the other hand I'm so scared to have it. I'm scared to go back out into the world to the point it makes me feel ill but on the other hand I'm desperate to live again.
I've done therapy in the past and have been back and forth to the doctors for years now, I feel like there's nothing left. My mum has been so supportive but as it's been so long now I feel like I can't talk to her about it all now and ask for her opinion on what I should do as she's heard it all before and nothing has helped. I don't have anyone else to talk to.
I've had CBT in the past but that was soley focused on my health anxiety (it did help and I no longer worry about my health though I do have the understandble little wobbles now and again but it's very rare now).
Last week my doctor prescribed me with Fluoxetine and I've been on the CBT waiting list for a few months now. I'm so afraid to take the medication because of the side effects, I feel like I can't physically swallow them and if I did, I'd have a panic attack.
I know this is long winded but I have so much to get off my chest, I just need some advice on where to go from here, having suffered for maybe more than 5 years now I'm so afraid I'll be like this forever...
Basically, I started with anxiety at about 13-14, I'm now 19 and have gone through the usual - anxiety, panic attacks, hypochondria, OCD, phobias including fear of needing the toilet when out, social phobia, social avoidance etc and now I'm practically housebound and have been for the past few years. I had trouble attending school and eventually dropped out and self-taught, I went to college but only lasted 1 term. I have lost all my child hood friends and have become a shadow of the person I used to be. I'm so unbelievably miserable and feel I'm riddled with anxiety, going round in a constant cycle that I just don't know how to break. I just can't put into words how fed up I am and how hard I find it to sit back and watch everyone get on with their lives whilst I'm unable to do the things I want to (uni, drive etc etc)
Right now, if I didn't have anxiety I would be at Uni, have friends, be able to have a relationship, work, drive, just enjoy life. This is what I want but on the other hand I'm so scared to have it. I'm scared to go back out into the world to the point it makes me feel ill but on the other hand I'm desperate to live again.
I've done therapy in the past and have been back and forth to the doctors for years now, I feel like there's nothing left. My mum has been so supportive but as it's been so long now I feel like I can't talk to her about it all now and ask for her opinion on what I should do as she's heard it all before and nothing has helped. I don't have anyone else to talk to.
I've had CBT in the past but that was soley focused on my health anxiety (it did help and I no longer worry about my health though I do have the understandble little wobbles now and again but it's very rare now).
Last week my doctor prescribed me with Fluoxetine and I've been on the CBT waiting list for a few months now. I'm so afraid to take the medication because of the side effects, I feel like I can't physically swallow them and if I did, I'd have a panic attack.
I know this is long winded but I have so much to get off my chest, I just need some advice on where to go from here, having suffered for maybe more than 5 years now I'm so afraid I'll be like this forever...