Anxiety and relationships

[jayjoe18]

I hope I don't sound rude here but I just don't understand how people with anxiety are able to have a relationship?

I know there are different forms of anxiety and people experience it at different levels etc but the thought of having a boyfriend scares me so much even though it's something I would like. I'm so shy when it comes to boys and always have been, I just feel that it would be impossible for me to have a boyfriend with my overwhelming anxiety. How does anxiety effect your relationships and what can be done to make it easier?

[panickyme]

If you could meet someone who is very understanding of your anxieties, you could have a very successful relationship. I'm lucky my husband is very understanding and I have been with him for 30 yrs.(high school sweetheart) It can be done, and you will do it someday, you just need the right person, someone you feel comfortable with. :)

[dread]

It is completely possible to have a relationship whilst suffering with anxiety/ocd/depression etc... it's just the right person. If you're with someone that doesn't understand, and isn't willing to understand, then they aren't the right person. But I know plenty of people with far more impacting mental health conditions that have married and even had kids. Not only that, but I'd rather be with someone that has anxiety than a sever case of being a w****r, pardon my french :P So have hope!

[hellybelly1982]

Having a relationship with someone is completly possible and WILL happen for you. You have just got to wait for the right person. My husband who I have been with 9 years is the kindest, most thoughtful person who is my rock. I met him when I had problems and he understands me and treats me no different and supports me in every way. He is the complete opposite to me and very laid back so he completly balences me out and helps me gain presepective. I have checking OCD as well as anxiety and he never gets annoyed with me when it takes me ages to leave the house. When I ask him if he ever wishes I was just ' normal', he says he has never known me any other way. Remember relationships should never feel like work, they should just be, as easy as breathing. Am I right in thinking you are 19? Plenty of time yet hunny, dont stress. x

[Emma86]

I have just come out of a relationship and one of the reasons it ended was because he found my 'problems' hard to deal with.
We was together a year and towards the end my anxiety went downhill again, just out of nowhere. I couldnt leave the house, I was down alot, crying and he found it very difficult. We had alot of other issues aswell, I think he would have stayed with me, it wasnt my anxiety that ended us but it didnt help.
With my issues and problems I want to be with someone who will be there for me 100%. There is someone out there, plenty of time yet :D

[Tero]

I'm sure it has some effect, but I have been married 30 years. I have a rather limited situation as far as what causes anxiety.

[Thumbelina]

I have just come out of a relationship and one of the reasons it ended was because he found my 'problems' hard to deal with.
We was together a year and towards the end my anxiety went downhill again, just out of nowhere. I couldnt leave the house, I was down alot, crying and he found it very difficult. We had alot of other issues aswell, I think he would have stayed with me, it wasnt my anxiety that ended us but it didnt help.
With my issues and problems I want to be with someone who will be there for me 100%. There is someone out there, plenty of time yet :D

I know how you feel dear Emma. When you anxious and low everything seems to be falling apart. And if the partner is not understanding its not helping. My usband for the past 7 years of my GAD has not been as understanding as sould like him him to be.
It gets me
Down allot as we have two kids and i am not a selfish person, therefore i feel trapped allot.
He knows that he is no help in this department to me and it upsets him as well.
He is just a guy from the north east - he has been brought up tough, so he doesnt know different.

But Emma, there are many other people that understand how we feel, and on here too.
Take care

[PanchoGoz]

I sort of know how you feel Jay, I don't get relationships and I wouldn't know what to do if I had one. I think I'd get bored of the person! I've had two very unsuccessful relationships in the past and that's all. But I'm sure things will happen in their own time.

[ricardo]

This is a good thread .
Even if you are married or not but in a relationship it is still very hard for one's partner to realise the things we go through.
I have also been married for 30 years and my wife has accepted my condition and has an outlet by going for long walks with our dogs., all she can see are the physical side effects I get but would never really understand them only be there for me.

I often feel guilty that through no fault of my own I have restricted our and our children's life as living like a normal family.
My wife oftens says to me if the situation was reversed would I have stayed, and I honestly don't know.

[Thumbelina]

When anxious i always see the relationship in a strange angel. I often don't see good bits and see the small difficulties. My makkam husband is not very understanding with my GAD and every time when I have episode I sort of blame him as well for it. Just because he says sometimes I am attention seeker.

[ricardo]

When anxious i always see the relationship in a strange angel. I often don't see good bits and see the small difficulties. My makkam husband is not very understanding with my GAD and every time when I have episode I sort of blame him as well for it. Just because he says sometimes I am attention seeker.

maybe seeking more attention :)

[Thumbelina]

Orh no doubt about that - thats his major complaint ever - that I don't give him enough time and attention.
Sometimes he is right