View Full Version : really can't cope
I am feeling so much worse, I just don't know what to do with myself. I am going to be on my own until Thursday. I tried to phone NO Panic helpline but it is engaged all the time.
Thumbelina
03-12-12, 13:41
Annie, but you have the best helpline on here - you are not alone. Are you having anxiety or panic coming?
:hugs:Sorry you are not feeling this way Annie, I agree that there is so much help here. I have only just joined and I wish I had known about this site years ago. I am sure you will get the support and encouragement you need to see you through to Thursday and beyond.
You can cope. I know you can. Identify what you're feeling...
Heart racing?
Frantic thoughts?
Trembling?
Nausea?
Rapid breathing?
All panic symptoms. You're not in any danger. Breathe. Relax your stomach. Breathe naturally. Don't stir your thoughts. If you notice a negative thought, catch it, screw it up & throw it away. Breathe. Start at the top of your head and work down, relaxing muscles as you go with each outward breath. Give it time to pass. It will pass. Be aware of what's around you. Wiggle your toes. Feel yourself IN your surroundings. Stomach tensed up again? Relax it. Breathe slowly, naturally, calmly. Smile - it helps :) You are strong and you CAN get through this. It WILL pass. Every breath you take is one closer to it all being over. You can only walk forwards, not back. Keep breathing, and you will get there x
Annie, is there anyway you can call the doctors? I don't know how helpful yours are, but they may be able to suggest something to calm you down. I know you have dizapam.
This is something I do when I feel panic surging - have you got a ticking clock in the house? What I do, is I stand in front of the clock, put my hand on my heart and listen to the ticks. Our hearts race when we are panicking, and sometimes it is very hard to steady it. By listening to the ticking of the clock, I find my heart beat slows as if it's beating with the rhythm of the clock till it settles.
Is there a friend or relative you can ring to talk to or come round?
Annie - you can do this. You don't feel strong and you don't feel like you can cope but you CAN.
Nothing is going to happen. We feel like the world is ending when it gets bad but it doesn't and won't. Elle-Kay has posted some really good techniques above.
Log onto the CBT4Panic customer site Annie & listen to some of Robin's mp3's - there is one for if you're panicking. It will help.
If you need to speak to someone and No Panic is engaged don't be afraid to ring the Samaritans. I did once. They really helped dig me out of my dark hole. They're not only there for people contemplating taking their life. They're there for anyone in emotional crisis.
My chest really hurts and I know it is just the anxiety but I am so frightened by it all today I can't stop crying
Your body is screaming at you that it needs something, that's "all". It needs you to relax. Take a deep breath through your nose - really fill up your lungs - then let it out slowly, put your mind in each muscle as you exhale and really relax every single one, right down to your pinky toe!
I feel like I am going to faint
You're not going to faint. It's just a mistake. Breathe - in to 9, out to 11.
I am on phone to local mental health team. A phycologist is talking to me
Ok, well done Annie. You'll be fine x
I have taken another diazepam
---------- Post added at 14:13 ---------- Previous post was at 14:07 ----------
Thank you everyone for your support. I feel so nauseous. the psychologist talked me out of the panic attack. I am going to try again to sleep.
Hope you're ok Annie. Sleep sounds a good idea if you can x
Sorry I suddenly disappeared - my Dad needed my help with something straight away. Hope you're sleeping now Annie x
Thumbelina
03-12-12, 15:21
Hope you are ok Annie, and not going to be scared ever again of panic and anxiety.
Hugs hugs hugs
I feel like I am never going to be well again, i just want to sleep but cant
---------- Post added at 15:33 ---------- Previous post was at 15:22 ----------
I am worse again, waiting for the doctor to call me
Thumbelina
03-12-12, 15:42
Annie, why dont you try be very brave this time and to sit on the sofa and when fear comes over you - say - "common, do it , take me, or do whatever you can and want to do with me...right now and right here" .. And see what will happen - n o t h i n g !!!! There is nothing to loose. In both cases the result the same. Only when we are brave fear doesnt stay.
THe hardest thing is actually to mean when you think or say it.
I have done it few times - worked amaisingly.
I dont have guts to do it every time though...
I feel so weak I have just had to crawl to the bathroom
Annie, why dont you try be very brave this time and to sit on the sofa and when fear comes over you - say - "common, do it , take me, or do whatever you can and want to do with me...right now and right here" .. And see what will happen - n o t h i n g !!!! There is nothing to loose. In both cases the result the same. Only when we are brave fear doesnt stay.
THe hardest thing is actually to mean when you think or say it.
I have done it few times - worked amaisingly.
I dont have guts to do it every time though...
This has also worked for me once or twice (when I've had the energy to do it). I got so totally fed up of feeling afraid that I literally said (out loud) "NO!!", and in that instant all the fear and anxiety went away, just as if I'd clicked my fingers. It felt amazing.
Annie, could you call someone to sit with you while you wait to hear from the Dr? How about your neighbour? Or the understanding friend you've mentioned in the past?
The doctor phoned but not my usual one, she just said to do something to distract me. One of my neighbours has been over twice today and my friend is working.
Hmm, I'm not sure it needed all the expensive training GPs have to advise that lol It really will go away though if you can just relax towards it enough, for long enough. Do you like crosswords? When I was bad a few months ago I used to do the Guardian crossword online to distract me (http://www.guardian.co.uk/crosswords).
Annie oh Annie
I just saw this thread can I do anything for you from afar xx
do you want to talk cause I do:hugs:
Hi Annie
have sent you a PM :-)
Robin
Awww Annie, I hope you are feeling better. I am sending you a big hug, :bighug1:you are such a strong person. I know you can get through this! I am only home for lunch, but I will check back with you after work.. You will be alright, you just have yourself all worked up. Yesterday was a lot for, and now you are alone. Did your daughter come to pick up the kitty yet:hugs: Debbi
Annie remember not to trust your feelings, but go with the logical voice behind it all instead. The bit that is telling you, you have been through this before, you can get through it again, see it out and don't make it any harder than it is. You can do it :hugs:
Thumbelina
04-12-12, 01:58
Annie,
Really hope you have got some sleep and feeling better today.
Another day, better day today.
Take care
AuntieMoosie
04-12-12, 03:56
Annie I'm so sorry that you're having a real rough time right now hun.
You are such a kind, caring and supportive person to lots of people on here and I wanted to offer you my support and understanding.
You can do this Annie, I know you can. You're just feeling terribly frightened, it's just that word hun...."FEAR"....I'll bet you're just like me in that you get yourself in a vicious circle of horrible frightening thoughts, one after the other and before you know it, you're into panic, then it becomes hard to break out of it.
Annie all the symptoms you're getting are a normal reaction to fear, they can, in no way, hurt you. I know, even as I'm saying this, that you're thinking that's very easy to say, because all you know right now is that you're being consumed with horrible physical symptoms which are just soooo scary, I know hun, I've been there so many times myself.
I'm doing the CBT4PANIC as I know a few of us are at the moment.
As Elle said, pop over to the CBT4PANIC site and have a listen to Robin's videos, especially the one for if you're in panic now, I have found it very helpful myself.
I wish I was there to hug you hun, I so feel for you as I do anyone with panic.
Come on Annie hun, you can do this, you will be fine:yesyes:
I will come back and check this thread tomorrow to see how you're doing hun.
Sending you big hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Oh I have woke up this morning just the same, I really can't cope with any more of this, I am just useless to everyone...I don't know what to do any more
Thumbelina
04-12-12, 07:37
Annie, have you read Panic Away by Joe Barry?
I can't read anything at the moment, I am even stuggling on here, I am crying and shaking so much
---------- Post added at 07:41 ---------- Previous post was at 07:39 ----------
I feel like I am going crazy, I don't know if I should ask them to take me in hospital but I am scared to go in
Thumbelina
04-12-12, 08:25
I know Annie how you feel, i wanted to be admitted so many times myself, i actually stayed in few times for dehydration due to sickness and vomiting.
Maybe you can ask someone of your friends or family to come and stay with you? I took kids and went to my friends house for few days... Do you have anybody like that?
I don't want to stay with any family, they have offered but my bedroom is my 'safe place' I don't like any one to see me in this state either. I have managed to eat some cereal this morning.
Supersal1984
04-12-12, 08:30
Hi Annie, are you on any medication at the moment? I have been here and it does go promise x
You are all being so kind and supporting me
---------- Post added at 08:34 ---------- Previous post was at 08:32 ----------
I am on Dosulipin, 100mg, Chlordiazipxide 5mg and yesterday I took 3 x 2mg diazipam. I have been on medication for 8 years now
Supersal1984
04-12-12, 08:51
I have not heard of dosulipin and chlordiazipixide, what do you take these for? Are you feeling any better? Xxxxx
dosulipin is a tricylic antidepressant. chlordiazipoxide is a benzodiazepine
Supersal1984
04-12-12, 09:00
And they have worked well up until now? X
Yes they have, it is just since I fractured my foot that it has got worse. My foot is getting better but my anxiety is getting worse.
Supersal1984
04-12-12, 09:08
Are you frustrated about not being able to walk as much and your work situation? That may be causing the anxiety now. Are you worried aiut money and Christmas etc?
I really struggled to do relaxation when I was feeling really anxious, but I found that if I told myself that they feels are not going to hurt me and bit by bit I did things without letting it stop me, I carried on despite it. I found the symptoms page on here really helpful too! I know what it is like when you just don't want to do anything though.you just want to curl into a ball, but at the same time escape your own body xxxx
Thumbelina
04-12-12, 09:09
A bowl of cereal is a very good breakfast!
Annie, my mum was saying always - if people offering help think teice before saying no.
Maybe hats all you need now just a change for few days.
The doctor is coming to see me this afternoon
Thumbelina
04-12-12, 09:20
Thats good, maybe he will be a food help to you ro decide whether you should stay by yourself.
Just let it wash over you. You will be all yourself in no time, and will forget how to be scared.
Have you put your christmas tree up yet?
No I haven't planning to do it at the weekend. I am even struggling to swallow without food, I have never had that feeling before
Thumbelina
04-12-12, 09:37
I had this. I came to the hospital with the terrible panick attack and was so bad, i was shaking and hyperventilating badly. The ER doctor was one of those - i have seen it all. Was very calm and then i told him - i cant swallow. He said show me how you cant swallow... Then he told me to take my a 1,5 litre drinking water bottle and told me i want to see you drink it now. I was shaking but started drinking and drunk nearly the full bottle.
It was awesome the way he handled it.
I remember it, it was 7 years ago.
---------- Post added at 14:37 ---------- Previous post was at 14:34 ----------
I you go to the hospital who is going to decorate the house?
I really don't want to go to hospital, I think it would make me worse, I hope they don't say I have to...oh no I am worrying about that now :weep:
Thumbelina
04-12-12, 10:00
You are strong person and its just your leg that is causing it all now.
Just blame the leg.
You are doing great, i would be sitting and crying non stop if i had something like that...
My foot is so much better so I should be getting less anxious not more anxious. I think, because I felt a lot better last week, I have tried to do to much and knocked myself down again.
It's very unlikely your Dr will send you to the hospital Annie, not when you are managing to function (though I appreciate it's very, very hard). Try to think of the good things - you've had a meal for one thing. That is definitely an improvement on yesterday from what you said. I bet you've seen to Chai, right? That's another good thing - so many people can't even manage to do the simple tasks when they feel so bad, so you're doing really well to carry on going, even when you feel as bad as you do.
Your whole house is safe for you. Your fear symptoms are very unpleasant, but they can't and won't hurt you. You have everything you need to be safe inside yourself :)
I have fed Chai and I have managed to wash my hair and have an Epsom salt bath. Chai is more relaxed today now that my daughter has taken the kitten away. Chai is snuggled up beside me on the bed. I just felt like I was going crazy this morning and was so annoyed with myself...I even started hitting myself and I have never ever done anything like that before so I thought I was going mad (I now have a big bruise :( ). I feel so bad about doing that I was just so frustrated. At least I have stopped crying but still feel like I could start again soon.
Annie, I think you are very brave and courageous. Just reading how you are feeling and coping with it is amazing and has given me courage. I know you probably do not feel either of those things right now, but you are. You got through yesterday and you will get through today, tomorrow will be easier and so on. I hope you can see the improvement on yesterday and that has given you a glimmer of hope. Dont give up, you are stronger than you know :)
I am feeling a little calmer, I know I have totally exhausted myself
Supersal1984
04-12-12, 11:23
good, the adrenaline runs out in the end. You will look back and think I got through this, and hold your head up high x
I have calmed down quite a bit (Thank you Robin Hall, CBT4Panic) I called my doctor to say I have calmed down a bit and told the receptionist that I am worried the doctor will think I am wasting their time. The receptionist was lovely and said I really sounded in a state this morning and thinks the doctor should still see me. She assured me that i am not wasting the doctors time.
Hi Annie, it can only get better from here, right? I find my kitty always knows when I am having an anxiety attack and comes and snuggles up with me. It makes me feel less lonely.
You are doing so well because you are talking through this with all of us. If anxiety could kill you, it would have already. You are still here, making the effort to get through it. You are so strong, I wish I was a fraction of how strong you are!
What time is the doctor coming around today?
Sending a million hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:
I'm glad you're starting to feel better :) Robin is a star isn't he? He must be so busy but has taken the time on several occasions to write me long emails with personal advice.
Hi Annie, it can only get better from here, right? I find my kitty always knows when I am having an anxiety attack and comes and snuggles up with me. It makes me feel less lonely.
You are doing so well because you are talking through this with all of us. If anxiety could kill you, it would have already. You are still here, making the effort to get through it. You are so strong, I wish I was a fraction of how strong you are!
What time is the doctor coming around today?
Sending a million hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Thank you, I don't feel so strong at the moment though but I have managed to eat a piece of melon and a ginger biscuit so there is a positive!
---------- Post added at 13:03 ---------- Previous post was at 13:02 ----------
I'm glad you're starting to feel better :) Robin is a star isn't he? He must be so busy but has taken the time on several occasions to write me long emails with personal advice.
Robin really is a star, I am so appreciative of the fact that he took time out to speak to me :) Hey..I smiled like he told me to!
It does help, doesn't it? I didn't believe it when I saw it in the workbooks - I thought "I don't feel like smiling!" - but I did anyway, and I did feel better for it :)
I like that suggestion about smiling .. it's funny because my fiance always tells me when I am in a crap mood and not feeling well to get up and dance around like crazy ... and I yell at him that I do NOT want to do it ... and when I finally do, I do end up laughing and feeling a little better.
I told Robin that is what my dad always says to me when I am feeling so low. The doctor has been and after I finished apologising to him for wasting his time again and him ressuring me I wasn't He said he was wondering about changing my meds because he doesn't really like the ones I am taking (A now retired doctor prescribed them 8 years ago) He wants to change them to mirtazipine? He is going to call me today to see what I think.
Supersal1984
04-12-12, 14:19
It does sound as if the current meds are not working anymore. Trying a new one will be hard at first if you get side effects, but it will be worth it in the long run and we are all here to support you.
Best wishes,
Sally x
I just started a new thread..I feel worse again now
Thumbelina
04-12-12, 14:30
That might be making some sense - 8 years ago the medications were different and maybe slowly that one came out of use, as not many people on here have even heard of your medication (i have not).
Its something to think about, but it does not necessarily mean that it is not good for anybody, maybe its just stopped working for you the right way.
I took mortazipine before for 6 months, it was not working right way for me so later doctor changed to cipralex.
But i know people who take them.
Glad you feeling more calm.
Annie, my heart goes out to you. :hugs: You have been through so much recently. Try to do things that reduce physical tension in your body Physical tension triggers anxiety so if you can reduce it it will go a long way to help.
Having a long soak in a warm bath or practising relaxation techniques including progressive muscle relaxation or passive relaxation are very helpful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPcJ7W3ntSk
I have also found these Claire Weekes audios extremely helpful. They may be worth a try
http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/Relax.html#HowToRecover
You are not alone. This will pass. In the meantime, you have a lot of people on here who genuinely care about you and are here to support you. As always, I will light a candle for you. You are in my thoughts :hugs:
Annie, my heart goes out to you. :hugs: You have been through so much recently. Try to do things that reduce physical tension in your body Physical tension triggers anxiety so if you can reduce it it will go a long way to help.
Having a long soak in a warm bath or practising relaxation techniques including progressive muscle relaxation or passive relaxation are very helpful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPcJ7W3ntSk
I have also found these Claire Weekes audios extremely helpful. They may be worth a try
http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/Relax.html#HowToRecover
You are not alone. This will pass. In the meantime, you have a lot of people on here who genuinely care about you and are here to support you. As always, I will light a candle for you. You are in my thoughts :hugs:
Thank you for your help and support and I really appreciate the candle :hugs:
You are more than welcome, Annie. I have just lit your candle. You are not alone and this will pass. Remember these two things in your darkest moments to get you through :hugs:
You are highly respected on here Annie and an intelligent person as well. We all have our problems and this thread alone shows how supportive others can be.
Maybe a change of medication might be the answer,but we all know ourselves best.
ricardo xx
You are highly respected on here Annie and an intelligent person as well. We all have our problems and this thread alone shows how supportive others can be.
Maybe a change of medication might be the answer,but we all know ourselves best.
ricardo xx
Thank you, it is kind of you to be so supportive when I know you are going through so much yourself at the moment. I hope things will start to improve for you.
Thank you, it is kind of you to be so supportive when I know you are going through so much yourself at the moment. I hope things will start to improve for you.
Thank you Annie :hugs:
Serenitie, That is a lovely thing you do lighting candles for people. Would you light one for Ricardo please because he is really having a tough time at the moment :hugs::hugs:
Serenitie, That is a lovely thing you do lighting candles for people. Would you light one for Ricardo please because he is really having a tough time at the moment :hugs::hugs:
Of course I will! Consider it done, Annie & Ricardo :hugs::hugs:
Wanted to send my love to you Annie and that you are in my thoughts x
Wanted to send my love to you Annie and that you are in my thoughts x
Thank you, I really appreciate all the messages of support
Hi Annie, I didn't realise until I read all of this thread How down you really are, I know there's having a bad day and then there's having a bad time, so sorry you feel like this, right now X
As you can see, we're all here to support you, there's some lovely comments on here, it's nice to know there's still some genuinely nice people in this world. Thank god for NMP!
Sending you :bighug:
Hi Annie, I didn't realise until I read all of this thread how down you really are!
As you can see we're all here to support you, there's some lovely comments on here, it's nice to know there's still some genuinely nice people in this world. Thank god for NMP!
Sending you :bighug:
Thank you so much Col
I have just read through my posts the last 2 days and sorry I didn't take everything in the first time as I was so distressed. I really want to Thank everyone for being here for me, you are all fantastic xx
annie your not alone with this im exactly the same at mo. Had chest pain for weeks my breathing dosent feel right everyday is a living hell, hopefully for both of us things will get easier did u say your on diazpam? I am and it does help abit. U can pm anytime hun:hugs:
annie your not alone with this im exactly the same at mo. Had chest pain for weeks my breathing dosent feel right everyday is a living hell, hopefully for both of us things will get easier did u say your on diazpam? I am and it does help abit. U can pm anytime hun:hugs:
I am really sorry you are feeling the same. I have diazepam but try not to take it too often. I ended up taking a total of 6mg yesterday and so far none today, I take chlordiaxipoxide as well so with a combination of those and my AD's I am feeling quite drowsy now. I hope I sleep tonight.
Annie how are you doing over there? Any better tonight? :hugs:
belindalorraine
04-12-12, 21:55
just remember you can and will get through this xx
I am feeling calmer now...I think I have just worn myself out so much with all the panicking, I am just numb now. Hopefully I will be able to sleep tonight and feel a bit better tomorrow.
Awww Annie you did wear yourself out. Those feeling, are physically, and mentally exhausting. :weep: I hope you get a really good night sleep tonight. Is your hubby home yet. (I forget how long he was gone) I know when he comes back you will sleep like a baby. I am sending you some flowers, and a big hug. :flowers: :hugs:
Thank you Debbi. He is not home until Thursday night. I cried all day yesterday and most of today so I am just aching and so tired. x
Awww Annie don't cry, you will be alright. Think about all you did in the last couple weeks. I can't even keep up with you, that's how much you did. You are amazing!!!!! Don't let these couple of bad days beat you down. (I know it's hard) but you of all people can do it. I am proud just how calm you have yourself right now. That's the Annie I know, the fighter. Don't think down upon yourself, look up, and forward, you have been doing such a fine job, and you will continue to do so. You need to get rest and slow down, little bit at a time. You can do it. Thursday is almost here. Home stretch, now kid!!!!:hugs:and things will be back to normal. Wishing you the best.
Well like my daughter said if I could cope with her when she was a teenager I can cope with anything! She wasn't that bad really :) I am going to try to get to sleep now and will report back tomorrow. Thanks everyone....you are the best! I don't know how I would have got through the last few days without you all :)
Even not feeling good, you still have a great sense of humor, and always make everyone smile!!!!! Good Night my friend. :D
Night night everyone, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite :D x
Hi Annie
Hope you are able to sleep tonight. I think you are very brave being on your own going though this bad time - I can't even bear to be on my own while my husband takes the dogs for a walk when I am anxious. You are so brave and you will get through this I know. Good night and take care xx
AuntieMoosie
05-12-12, 00:39
Hi Annie,
I think you are doing brilliantly hun, I know it doesn't feel that way to you, but you are, you are coping even though you feel like you're not, you are being really brave, it's really not at all nice when you are face on with your fear, but just look at how well you're coping, it's a positive thing Annie, you're facing it and you're doing it:yesyes:
You sound very much like me with having your bedroom as your "safe" room, I love my bedroom too:)
I'm so glad that you're posting your experience here, most importantly so that you can get support and understanding, but also so that others can follow how you're doing and how brave you're being, I think you'll find hun, that your thread has helped an awful lot of people:)
I hope you really have a good, restful nights sleep Annie, tomorrow you will feel refreshed and, hopefully much more comfortable:)
I agree that Robin is a diamond, he's so helpful and supportive:)
You're not on your own Annie, we're all here and we all know that you can do this hun:hugs::hugs:
Thank you Louise and Auntie Moosie. I am not sleeping to well had about 2 hours but at least I am not crying or panicking. Will try again to get back to sleep x
Thumbelina
05-12-12, 02:44
Hi Annie,
I am also up since 2 hours ago. Slepp is bery messed up.
Last night at 6pm collapsed on a sofa and kids woke me up at 9 and i got into panic mode straight away.
I think it was the deepest sleep i had in over 2 weeks during this few hours. My eyes were like rabbits eyes, and i was scared of the sudden deep sleep i felt into.
I guess the body takes over when it needs.
Though after that i have not slept properly at night maybe 1,5 hrs, and then 15 mins sleeps...and i took my cipralex only at 1:30 am cause was scared to take before.
I am 3 hrs ahead of the uk though.
Hope your day today will be better than yeaterday,thinking of you and going through the same emotions and sensations as you are.
Take care
Thank you Thumbalina, I have woke up feeling just the same :(
---------- Post added at 09:22 ---------- Previous post was at 08:36 ----------
I am just trying to tell my self that after having such high anxiety for a few days it will take a few more days to recover.
That's exactly it Annie. Sleep is a good thing, but it doesn't erase the day before entirely. You just need to keep that attitude with you as your shield today - that "I know it's only anxiety. I know it can't hurt me. I'm going to just be patient and ride it out" attitude.
I just got in the bath and suddenly thought "How long would it take me to drown if I put my head under?" I have never, ever thought anything like that before and I know I wouldn't act on it but it just made me jump out of the bath in tears! It really scared me. We may end up here with a stinky Annie because I may not dare get in the bath again!
Well that's ok, I don't think broadband is so advanced yet that it has smellyvision :winks:
Seriously though; try not to make the bath a thing/place to avoid. You know that what you thought was only a thought (as scary as it was), and that you wouldn't ever test it out, so the bath is still a perfectly safe place for you to be.
Incidentally, from what I understand it's nearly impossible to drown yourself on purpose - that lovely fight or flight response of ours (the one that causes us all these problems!) kicks in, and at the moment of panic we instinctively choose to preserve our life, and fight out of the water. In this instance, your fight or flight just kicked in a bit early, and you fought out of the water before you were in any real danger :)
I know I wouldn't do it but it has just scared me that I would even have that thought...I just wish I could drag myself up from this...I just felt amazing last week and told people I was pleased to have 'me' back and now I have gone again.
You're still in there Annie. If anything, these episodes bring out the very best of our core personality - our strength, our tenacity, our willpower... x
Well...I have made myself get out of bed and dressed..I am going to try to make it into the living room. The doctor said yesterday I have to try to leave my bedroom (my safe place). I know the longer I stay in the bedroom the worse I will get so even if I only manage an hour downstairs I will have achieved something. I have 2 friends coming to visit this afternoon and both have gone through anxiety and depression. One of them lost her husband 2 years ago at the age of 47 and they had been together since they were 15. We try to get together when we can to pick each other up and usually end up having a laugh. A few weeks ago they took me out for a meal (I cried all the way there) ended up enjoying it because they distracted me by talking about (can I say this on here :unsure:) things you can buy in Ann Summers! There was a man on the next table and had finished his meal but stayed there ages on his phone (pretending I think)...I am sure he was highly amused by the conversation :D
maximus1975
05-12-12, 11:05
annie i no your a tough cookie thats why your hanging in there and fighting this illness , ive had thoughts like that before many a time change it to a positive one like i thought about it but no i would never go through with it it's just my mind playing tricks on me.
im starting to get to grips with the fact im always gunna have dodgy thoughts from time to time i think ive killed so many brain cells through drink in the past that ive done perminant damage , that scares me as these weird thoughts stop me doing so many things in life . we are both gunna have to push ourselves through some fearful times to rid the fear if that makes sense. we need to flood ourselves with the things we dread it maybe a bus journey or a long walk the more we do it the easier it will get.
last week at my stressbuster course i had to dampen down a panic attack i was a couple of mins away from having to leave the room my mum was sat beside me as i gripped my seat so hard , i was grinding my teeth but somehow managed to pull out of it ,when i got home i was very upset .
i guess im just telling you that your not alone im right there with u xxx
Thank you Maximus, I am sorry you are going through such a bad patch too, but we will beat this won't we? I am so pleased to have NMP so that we can encourage each along. :hugs:
maximus1975
05-12-12, 11:26
yeh im hear for u , im getting worked up on wether to take this job or not , i really dont no if im ready its giving me a headache and i have to phone him in a min ,its door knocking sales and you can make good money out of it , i just dont no if my nerves can handle it:hugs:
It doesn't sound like you are ready at the moment but then again it may be something positive to work on? Have you spoken to your doctor to get his opinion? My doctor says I am not ready for work yet.
maximus1975
05-12-12, 11:38
one dr said im not ready and the other thinks it will help break the cycle of anxiety/depression/panic , i cant make my mind up on what to say to this bloke my head says i need more time my heart says go for it , its self employed so if i was having a bad day i can go home , but if im door knocking in say a village miles away from where i live and have an anxiety attack im screwed , i would be working alongside a stranger from a near by town has he has a car but i no thats gunna raise my anxiety levels big time
I am now up and dressed, put some perfume and a little bit of make up on..not going anywhere but if I don't make some effort I will never get out of this...going to tidy my bedroom. have made the bed to stop me getting back in it! :)
---------- Post added at 11:42 ---------- Previous post was at 11:38 ----------
Only you can really know your anxiety state at the moment maximus..if you feel you need more time and the chance to do more exposure activities before this then I would advise you to wait. If you think you can get through it then do it. The worst that can happen is a panic attack and it will pass but I can understand that will be difficult for you doing door to door without your own transport.
Annie, I'm sorry you still don't feel well, but if it's any kind of reassurance, you sound so much better. (it's that cute little annie, with all the good advice, and awesome personality) I think you are doing a fine job. (and as for that bath, you get right back in there, and show that bath who's boss) you can do it! Just one more day, and hubby will be home.:yesyes: I feel really edgy this morning/afternoon, but I have to try and move along for work. I will check on you later, have a really good day. :hugs:
Don't be afraid of crying, Annie, it often relieves a lot of tension. I have done my share, believe me! I cannot add to what others have said except to say that however you feel at the moment you CAN recover and you WILL. Bless you. joe
Annie, I'm sorry you still don't feel well, but if it's any kind of reassurance, you sound so much better. (it's that cute little annie, with all the good advice, and awesome personality) I think you are doing a fine job. (and as for that bath, you get right back in there, and show that bath who's boss) you can do it! Just one more day, and hubby will be home.:yesyes: I feel really edgy this morning/afternoon, but I have to try and move along for work. I will check on you later, have a really good day. :hugs:
I hope you have a good day Debbi and i will get in that bath again but I will wear a life jacket :roflmao:
---------- Post added at 12:39 ---------- Previous post was at 12:37 ----------
Don't be afraid of crying, Annie, it often relieves a lot of tension. I have done my share, believe me! I cannot add to what others have said except to say that however you feel at the moment you CAN recover and you WILL. Bless you. joe
I have done so much crying the past few days...it is a good job I live on a hill or my street would be flooded! I have managed to get myself downstairs and hoovered the living room. That has tired me out so no more house work today or I will make myself worse again.
I'm glad you have some friends coming over who know what it is like ... I think something that has helped me personally when I am in moments of anxiety and panic is just accepting it, being present to it, and letting it happen ... somebody may have already mentioned it on this thread. If I don't fight it and let it wash over me instead it helps the really panicky moments to pass a little quicker.
Good for you for getting up, getting dressed, and setting some goals for yourself today. That is a great way to work on this. Have you started the new medication?
I haven't got the new meds yet, my doctor said he would phone today to discuss it with me.
MissHDynamite
05-12-12, 12:55
Oh Annie.. so sorry I have not been on to help you. What a couple of tough days you've had!.. Pleased to hear you have got yourself up, dressed and lippy on.. well done you! :hugs:
Oh Annie.. so sorry I have not been on to help you. What a couple of tough days you've had!.. Pleased to hear you have got yourself up, dressed and lippy on.. well done you! :hugs:
Thank you Miss H. My friends came this afternoon and it was lovely to see them but after they had been awhile I started feeling so anxious again and it has exhausted me so much.
---------- Post added at 17:11 ---------- Previous post was at 16:55 ----------
My other friend called me this afternoon to see how I was and when I told him about this morning he said he will buy me a snorkle! He is visiting tomorrow but usually when he visits after night shift he just sits down and falls asleep :)
Annie I can relate to a lot of what you've said about your safe place, I used to say the same about my bedroom.
Hope you're feeling better very soon, The new meds ay work better, my GP wouldn't prescribe dusulepin to me, I was on it 8 years ago but he said he can't prescribe it now. Xx
I know they have stopped prescribing but letting people already on it stay on it. The doctor was supposed to call me today but hasn't unless I misunderstand..I was in such a state yesterday I could easily have got things wrong.
Annnnnnnie a life jacket. (you are truly the best) you make me laugh. Sounds like you had a really busy day. I am only half way through, and boy oh boy do I have a headache. I got a new little boy in my class who should clearly not be in there. (very special need) I got bit, hit, kicked at, and much much more. But everyone needs a chance at life, so I except it, and keep trying to work with him, but it is hard. (especially when you are an anxious person) Anyway, enough about me, are you getting excited hubby comes home tomorrow? I'm glad your friends stopped by to brighten your spirits today also. (you are quite the popular girl) and I know why. (just a truly nice person you are Annie) Keep up the good work. :bighug1:Just checking on you.
Annnnnnnie a life jacket. (you are truly the best) you make me laugh. Sounds like you had a really busy day. I am only half way through, and boy oh boy do I have a headache. I got a new little boy in my class who should clearly not be in there. (very special need) I got bit, hit, kicked at, and much much more. But everyone needs a chance at life, so I except it, and keep trying to work with him, but it is hard. (especially when you are an anxious person) Anyway, enough about me, are you getting excited hubby comes home tomorrow? I'm glad your friends stopped by to brighten your spirits today also. (you are quite the popular girl) and I know why. (just a truly nice person you are Annie) Keep up the good work. :bighug1:Just checking on you.
Oh Debbi you have had a tough day at work. It is hard trying to work with children with such difficulties. Do you have a support assistant to work with him? That is my job...to work with the special needs kids and support them, very hard sometimes! I work with 11-16 year olds. It will be good to have my hubby home again and I just hope I will be a bit better again tomorrow. Today has been much better than yesterday but still a bit shaky. hugs back :hugs::hugs:
I do have an assistant but we really have our hands full. (neither one of us is special education certified) He needs what we call a shadow, someone to be one, on one with him. (My boss will never have it though) I always get kinda walked on. (to nice) and I have such a big heart, my heart breaks for him, he is so angry, and he is so little. (where does that come from so early) That I will have a panic attack trying to help this poor child. I work with 5-6 yrs old. Soooooooo nervous to go back now. But I have to do it. You are going to feel like a new person tomm. when your buddy comes home. So proud of you, handling these couple days all by yourself. We will talk soon. :hugs:
I should come to help you, I am qualified for Special Needs :) We could both have a panic attack together :)
omg, panickyme, i so get what you are talking about. my internship is with 10-13 year olds who have all been traumatized and it is sooo sad, but also extremely draining emotionally. make sure you take care of yourself too!
Thumbelina
05-12-12, 18:17
You are just awesome ladies - snorkle, life jacket, lets have panic attack together... Some people are busy having panic attack for real on here if you dont mind....
Seriously, you just made my day today - Thats the attitude !!!! I just forgot about my terrible chest after reading this. You are just brilliant!!! There is not enough anxiety and panic about to break you's down!
Hugs hugs hugs
My husband just laughed when I told him how I felt in the bath this morning! I said why are you laughing it was frightening for me!! He said "because you have a phobia of water remember, you won't even put your face in the shower, you wouldn't last under water for 1 second " :roflmao: He is right!
Annie, Sooooooooooooooo funnny! Could you see us working together! :sign20: We would get fired. I can't believe the amount of things we have in common. I bet your husband misses you so much, you are such a lovely person. Yeahhhhhhhh he comes home tomorrow. :yahoo: I have to also tell you I am jealous you have all your Christmas shopping done, and I've barely started. (and wrapped) you are on the ball. :hugs: Debbi
Thank you swlgrl, we all have some much in common on here, especially (PANIC) haven't talked to you in a while, hope you are well. :hugs:
Well woke up again feeling like I have just ran a marathon but have done my breathing exercises and calmed down enough to eat a bowl of cereal. Going to be very brave now and run the bath with Epsom salts in...have my arm bands, life jacket and snorkle at the ready :). Will not let intrusive thoughts or this anxiety rule my life! My sister asked why I was feeling nauseous yesterday (I mentioned to her that I was). She asked if I was pregnant or just coming out in sympathy with Kate...hahahaha, I am 54 and going through the menopause and hubby is infertile after his prostate op so there will be trouble if I am! :roflmao: I just told her I am trying to train my flight or fight response to switch off :)
Debbi I think it would be fun us working together :D
Kayleigh100
06-12-12, 10:21
I'd like to just say how much I admire you working and giving your best to children in such need. I can't help wondering if it is partly them draining you - which the poor mites surely do - which makes the condition we all suffer from even worse for you.
My son is severely dyslexic (but bright) and that is all and I know just how much that has drained me in the past. That, I am sre is absolutely nothing on what you deal with. But, without you, those children would be so much worse off. I ust wanted to say, however remote I am to it, thank you for continuing to give of yourself.
Thank you Kayleigh, I am actually off work on the sick at the moment, have been since June but that is because I was painting my staircase and fell off the ladder onto the stairs with my poor left foot stuck through the rung of the ladder. I fractured 2 metatarsals, dislocated my little toe and damaged ligaments and what ever else is in my foot. I was in plaster cast for 3 months and the slow healing triggered my anxiety. I keep getting emails from my students saying they miss me. One says she is crying because she misses me so much. I am the only one who can read her writing :) I don't know how, maybe because I have spent so much time reading the writing of children with learning difficulties I have learnt to understand what they write :) Lots of students with dyslexia are very bright. I had a student with very severe dyslexia and in the end I taught him the basics and as he got older I taught him to recognise road signs etc. He wanted to be a gamekeeper so I got him work experience 1 day a week on an estate. I helped him get into a college and an apprenticeship on the estate. He is now a gamekeeper on another large estate and loving it. One of my success stories, lovely boy ( a man now).
Annie we would have the best time if we worked together, I would love it, we would make an excellent team. :hugs: Wish you were here today (usually I only work on mon, tues, and wed., do to anxiety) but my boss asked if I would come in this morning to work with him) So this is out of my comfort zone, and I am nervous, but I am going to do it. (and it's only until 12:00) Pregnant!!!!!! you are so funny! Oh that poor Kate, it is all over the news here.(everyone loves that couple here) I feel so sorry for her. I did see this morning she went home, so hopefully she is doing well. Yeah :yesyes:hubby comes home, you are going to be so relieved. Hope you have a great day, and we will talk soon. :hugs:
Debbi I hope your day gets better for you...I know you can do it! Do you get along well with your boss? Work is so much easier if you have a good boss. (mine isn't) xx
Sometimes, lol (I will pm you about that) It does help if you get along with them. I am very close with a co-worker, we talk all the time, so at least I can get my true feelings out, and not keep them bottled up. I never knew what you did to your foot, annie that must of been so scarey, and look at you go. Do you think you will go back to work? That is adorable how the children are missing you. (I know why, you are probably so good with them) :hugs:
Kayleigh100
06-12-12, 12:31
Thank you Kayleigh, I am actually off work on the sick at the moment, have been since June but that is because I was painting my staircase and fell off the ladder onto the stairs with my poor left foot stuck through the rung of the ladder. I fractured 2 metatarsals, dislocated my little toe and damaged ligaments and what ever else is in my foot. I was in plaster cast for 3 months and the slow healing triggered my anxiety. I keep getting emails from my students saying they miss me. One says she is crying because she misses me so much. I am the only one who can read her writing :) I don't know how, maybe because I have spent so much time reading the writing of children with learning difficulties I have learnt to understand what they write :) Lots of students with dyslexia are very bright. I had a student with very severe dyslexia and in the end I taught him the basics and as he got older I taught him to recognise road signs etc. He wanted to be a gamekeeper so I got him work experience 1 day a week on an estate. I helped him get into a college and an apprenticeship on the estate. He is now a gamekeeper on another large estate and loving it. One of my success stories, lovely boy ( a man now).
That is a lovely story (not the injuring yourself bit the past student story!)
My son has terrible writing and his spelling age is 7 still (he is 14). Reading he is now age 13, so getting there. He has just got a Grade A in his English GCSE speaking and listening but his work on poetry is coming in at E's :( Drives him nuts because it is so at odds with his capabilities and that causes him so much frustration. Having help in their education environment is so important to aid them at those times of frustration.
I want to get back to work but my hubby is making me listen to my doctor and I know he is right :). I have a sick note for another 6 weeks.
---------- Post added at 12:37 ---------- Previous post was at 12:31 ----------
That is a lovely story (not the injuring yourself bit the past student story!)
My son has terrible writing and his spelling age is 7 still (he is 14). Reading he is now age 13, so getting there. He has just got a Grade A in his English GCSE speaking and listening but his work on poetry is coming in at E's :( Drives him nuts because it is so at odds with his capabilities and that causes him so much frustration. Having help in their education environment is so important to aid them at those times of frustration.
Kayleigh they are excellent results for a dyslexic teenager, he has done very well with his reading. I find this programme very helpful for spelling with dyslexic students http://www.wordwasp.com/
I guess it is the poetry from other cultures he is doing?
Hi Annie, hope you are doing ok today! You sound much lighter and reading through the posts has me cracking up at home. Sending hugs :hugs:
Still quite anxious, my heart rate is down to 100 but I haven't cried today and have survived the bath :D My hubby is home now so it helps not to be on my own.
Kayleigh100
06-12-12, 13:55
I want to get back to work but my hubby is making me listen to my doctor and I know he is right :). I have a sick note for another 6 weeks.
---------- Post added at 12:37 ---------- Previous post was at 12:31 ----------
Kayleigh they are excellent results for a dyslexic teenager, he has done very well with his reading. I find this programme very helpful for spelling with dyslexic students http://www.wordwasp.com/
I guess it is the poetry from other cultures he is doing?
Not sure about what anthology it comes from. He was studying a poem about war and conflict. He isn't doing two English GCSEs (as my daughter did) but just the one because they say he will find a full poetry paper to stressful and be unlikely to gain a great grade anyway. So, he is concentrating on one English paper and it includes some controlled assessment in poetry.
He is a great musician and goes to a local theatre group (both help with his vocabulary, speaking and self-esteem) and he wears unusually coloured glasses to help the shakeing and doubling of letters to be slightly better controlled. His reading has improved in year 7-10 from age 7 to 13, so he has done well (and so have his teachers). Spelling has just not moved by much. Between you and me, without the disadvantage, he ought to be a high grade student (I have a ream of O Levels at high grades and he is far cleverer than I ever was) but the important thing with such a disaadvantage is enabling him to get through secondary with his self esteem intact and a handful of useful grades as I am hoping once he gets to further education or an apprenticeship (he is absolutely decided on where he wants to go and has nailed himself practical year 11 work experience is exactly the right area) then there will be opportunities for him which he will be able to use his confidence to take advantage of.
Thanks for the link. I will look at it with him tonight - being year 10 he takes control now with a bit of guidance.
Annie I wish I'd known you while my husband was still at University! He is bright but badly Dyslexic (spelling, reading speed & memoy) & we struggled between us so much during his written work. If I'd known you earlier I could have got some tips! :D
He was at school when there was little to no help for Dyslexic students, so didn't do well there & hated it. We got him screened when he decided to try college (age 36) though, so he got some support through college & Uni', and now he has a 2:1 honours degree (Web Technology - his spelling is awful, but he's a whizz with website code!!) - I couldn't be more proud of him :D
I am assuming he is allowed a scribe for his exams?
I thought I would make some banana bread to distract me from my anxieties..ok first thing, get the mixing bowl out of the cupboard (not a good idea with phone in one hand!) drop mixing bowl on poorly foot!!!!! OUCH! have given up on the banana bread, now resting aching foot.
---------- Post added at 14:12 ---------- Previous post was at 14:09 ----------
Annie I wish I'd known you while my husband was still at University! He is bright but badly Dyslexic (spelling, reading speed & memoy) & we struggled between us so much during his written work. If I'd known you earlier I could have got some tips! :D
He was at school when there was little to no help for Dyslexic students, so didn't do well there & hated it. We got him screened when he decided to try college (age 36) though, so he got some support through college & Uni', and now he has a 2:1 honours degree (Web Technology - his spelling is awful, but he's a whizz with website code!!) - I couldn't be more proud of him :D
He has done so well Elle-kay. 'specific learning difficulties' is my area of expertise in school and I love to see the students progress and so many of them have gone on to University.
Oww! Your poor foot :( I dropped a 4 pack of baked beans on my foot in the supermarket on Saturday, so feel your pain!
We are also out of flour :(
Kayleigh100
06-12-12, 15:20
No, he isn't given a scribe. He has had lots of special assessments over the years and for the exam years and then the school applied for special allowances. He tells me that he is allowed 25% extra time (he is an exceptionally slow writer and a slow reader even though his vocabulary reading age itself isn't too bad) and he is allowed to be in a smaller exam room rather than the full exam hall. This seems to happen with all of his main year progress tests and mocks, so I've been confident it will also happen with the real thing.
I was surprised by the lack of scribe myself (he did have one in year 6 primary for his SATS) but he currently has mock exams and I have assumed that if the teachers couldn't read those they would ask for the scribe allowance to be assessed for him. I've assumed just because I cannot read his work, that doesn't mean a professional can't.
I am very surprised at that..If his spelling age is only 7 he should be given a scribe plus 25% extra time.
---------- Post added at 15:47 ---------- Previous post was at 15:47 ----------
Hubby is home and bought some flour so I have achieved my goal today..banana bread is now in the oven :)
AIVILOESOR
06-12-12, 16:20
sounds good. I like making bread too...
Kayleigh100
06-12-12, 16:35
Yes, definitely 7. 7 and 3 months - I've just looked in his English book to check. Should I ask the school for an explanation why he doesn't get one - politely, of course.
Would it be because his spellings are wrong but phonetically work? (although his handwriting is terrible and the two together mean I struggle reading it).
They are usually given a test to see if they are allowed a scribe so yes I would ask. we usually give a scribe or allow them to use a laptop if they usually work mainly on a laptop.
---------- Post added at 16:43 ---------- Previous post was at 16:40 ----------
Finally achieved today's goal https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/16000_10151374112065087_1584437675_n.jpg
Kayleigh100
06-12-12, 17:38
I will ask. Then we will know why and can be sure it's not been overlooked. Ta.
That baking looks good!
I thought I would make some banana bread to distract me from my anxieties..ok first thing, get the mixing bowl out of the cupboard (not a good idea with phone in one hand!) drop mixing bowl on poorly foot!!!!! OUCH! have given up on the banana bread, now resting aching foot.
Afternoon Annie, i wondered how you were doing so I took a look at the posts here. It sounds like things are on a more even keel for you which is great. Good for you finding things to do as a distraction - but I cant believe you did that with the mixing bowl.... just typical it landed on the bad one.....
I have to say how kind you are responding to other people's posts (including mine) when you arent 100% yourself. I'm sure everyone appreciates it lots as during your "down time" you are there for others. It makes a huges difference, so thank you.
Thank you Tessar...I will get there, I am just making myself do little things but sit down as soon as I feel tired. I will be disappearing up to my bedroom soon, I am quite pleased that I have stayed downstairs so long today. I hope you are feeling better yourself now after your difficult day :hugs:
Thank you Tessar...I will get there, I am just making myself do little things but sit down as soon as I feel tired. I will be disappearing up to my bedroom soon, I am quite pleased that I have stayed downstairs so long today. I hope you are feeling better yourself now after your difficult day :hugs:
I am thank you.... not feeling as angry which is really good. off home from work now, been making up some time as I needed to be with my partner earlier in the week when she wasnt well. amazing how good my bosses are....we are treated like adults so we dont let them down. They know i'll always make the time up & as caring people they know sometimes we have to be there for our loved ones.
I am thank you.... not feeling as angry which is really good. off home from work now, been making up some time as I needed to be with my partner earlier in the week when she wasnt well. amazing how good my bosses are....we are treated like adults so we dont let them down. They know i'll always make the time up & as caring people they know sometimes we have to be there for our loved ones.
You are lucky to have such understanding bosses, mine aren't. last year my husband needed an operation in a hospital 6 hours drive away and they said I couldn't have time off to go but I said I would be with him whatever they said so in the end I was allowed 3 days and had to make the time up but I didn't mind doing that. I didn't like leaving him so far away for me to go back to work though.
almamatters
06-12-12, 18:58
Glad you achieved your goal Annie the banana bread looks yummy :hugs: :hugs:
Glad you achieved your goal Annie the banana bread looks yummy :hugs: :hugs:
Thank you :hugs:
Yum, looks gorgeous! Love homemade bread and cakes, can't eat them!
Hope u feel much better than the other day x
Yum, looks gorgeous! Love homemade bread and cakes, can't eat them!
Hope u feel much better than the other day x
I do feel much better than I did Monday and Tuesday Thank you although I keep getting that 'black cloud' coming over me still and have had a racing heart most of the day, but I managed to get downstairs and bake and tidy the kitchen, Exhausted now and back to my safe place (bed) again. :)
Annie that's a picture perfect bread you made. I wish you lived next to me. :) I am so glad you are feeling better today, I thought you might feel better when hubby got home. (not so alone) Good for you managing all by yourself. I told you, you are one tough cookie. Now I hope you get a good night sleep tonight. talk soon :hugs:
THAT BREAD LOOKS AMAZING! I just got home from internship for a quick dinner before I head out to class, and wish I had some of that!! Send it over seas!!!
You sound like you are getting a bit better each day! I know you probably still don't feel great, but small steps. You seem 100x better than a couple days ago.
Hope you are getting some sleep tonight! I am off to NYC for the weekend after my internship tomorrow ... my fiance is there for work, so I am taking the train in to visit. Hoping not to be too anxious with the insane crowds with NYC during the holidays ... eek.
I had a good nights sleep still feeling a bit shaky since I woke up but managed to eat some cereal for breakfast.
swgrl09 Enjoy your weekend in NYC
Morning Annie, you do sound so much better than at the beginning of the week. Glad you slept and have eaten. Is there any banana bread left? looks really good. You are such an inspiration. Hope you have a good day :)
Thanks Jen, Yes I am so much better than I was at the beginning of the week, I honestly felt like I just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again I felt so bad.
Plenty of banana bread left but my daughter is visiting this morning so I don't think it will last long :D
I understand what you mean, although I hope this shows you how strong you are so that if you have another blip, you know you can come out the other side as you have done this week. Do you have any plans for the weekend?
I understand what you mean, although I hope this shows you how strong you are so that if you have another blip, you know you can come out the other side as you have done this week. Do you have any plans for the weekend?
No I don't make plans at the moment, just see how I am day to day. :D
Annie, Sending you hugs, sorry I cannot be of more help.:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
Hugs help me a lot Magic, Thank you x
Thumbelina
07-12-12, 11:07
Haya Annie,
Glad your morning bulletin is getting more positive everyday!!!
Small steps...
Thank you Thumbalina, I have got myself downstairs an tidying up a bit, The show must go on! :)
---------- Post added at 13:57 ---------- Previous post was at 12:02 ----------
In a state again...I have just had a letter from work saying I HAVE to go in for a meeting about my sickness next Wednesday otherwise decisions will be made without me. I really can't cope with this..I am back to crying and panicking again. :weep: :weep:
Annie I know that you probably don't feel up to this (in which case, perhaps Allan would do it for you?), but I think you need to call ACAS (08457 47 47 47) and/or the MIND legal helpline (0300 466 6463). Perhaps the latter first as they specialise in mental health law etc.
Tell them that you think that you are being harrassed by your workplace during your sickness absence, and tell them everything that your work have done through your sick leave:
- asking you to do work while off
- ignoring your direct requests to only communicate with your through your husband or union rep
- allowing students to email you
- ignoring your request that they come out to you due to your state of health
- badgering you generally
- offering you no practical compromise to help you meet with them, or any acknowledgement at all that you are ILL
I genuinely, genuinely believe that you have a very strong complaint against them, but you need advice from a professional advisor about the specifics so that you (or Allan) can tackle them with the law behind you.
I know this will be hard to think about when you're so upset, but it may also be better done now so that people can see just how badly you're being affected by their abominable treatment of you.
:hugs: I'm so sorry that they're being so awful. We all know what a good & strong person you are, and you don't deserve this.
---------- Post added at 14:24 ---------- Previous post was at 14:16 ----------
Also, I just thought to add, don't be afraid to ring your Dr again. Mine was very supportive during the problems at my (ex)workplace, and was able to advise me a little about where I stood with work in terms of being on long term sick leave.
My doctor's are lovely, I just called them and the receptionist said to get work to call them and they will tell them how ill I really am. Allan has come home from work because I was so distressed. I will let him read what you have said. we are also waiting for the union to call me. Thank you so much Leah for your advise x
Oh what a pain! I am sorry you are being treated this way, but it seems like you have a lot of good help on your side with your husband and your doctor. I don't know how things work in the UK but it looks like some great info from elle-kay ... hang in there!
:hugs::hugs::hugs:
Well done Annie - positive action in a forwards direction always helps me feel a bit les afraid :) x
Now, would you like to share my KitKat Chunky, because chocolate is also an excellent tonic? :winks:
If you had asked me before I got this letter I would have said yes but this has put me off food again :(
I will let you know when I hear from the Union. Allan said he won't ring work because he would really lose his temper! xx
Yes, I can very well believe that he would - I would too! When my Dad had problems at work recently (while he was on sick leave, with stress) he arranged with his college that they were only to contact him through his union rep, and they agreed, so there is a precedent for your request, and they are being foolish - not to mention cruel - to ignore it. Someone (perhaps the union) needs to make clear to them that all you want is to recover your health, and return to work, but that their behaviour is being detrimental to your health and ultimately postponing your recovery.
---------- Post added at 15:23 ---------- Previous post was at 14:58 ----------
I need to finish the handles for my Mum's bag Annie, but I know you'll be fine now Allan is home, and I'll catch up with your news later x
Thank you so much for your help and advise Leah, I really appreciate it. xx
---------- Post added at 18:19 ---------- Previous post was at 15:41 ----------
have had to come back to my 'safe place' bed due to the stress work has caused me today :( Still waiting for the Union to get back to me but MIND were very helpful.
That's good that MIND were able to give you some help, and reassurance I hope :) The chap I spoke to on their helpline (about an issue over a job application form) was very friendly and helpful too; one of the few people I've ever spoken to where I've felt that I could admit to having anxiety without being judged as inferior or 'damaged' in some way.
Don't worry about going back to your safe place today - it's not your fault, your work are being very unreasonable and it was bound to knock you for six, especially as you had a rough start to the week which you'll still be tired and fragile from x
My neighbour came over this morning and commented on how much better I seemed then she called again this afternoon on her way to take her dogs out for a walk and I could hardly stand up I was sobbing so much. It is the first time I have begged Allan to come home from work. My sister in law is a HR manager so she is going through my works sickness policy while I hide in my bedroom. I feel worn out again :( x
How're you doing this morning Annie? x
I slept well last night. Feeling a bit shaky this morning but haven't cried yet so that is a good sign :). Allan wrote a letter to work last night and I signed it. Basically it says that they have not given me enough time to arrange for someone to represent me at the meeting as I cannot speak to my union until Monday and that the meeting should not going ahead without someone to represent me.
Yes, that's right. You're entitled to be accompanied, and they're obliged to reschedule the meeting for a mutually convenient date if you choose to use that right. I had to write the same letter to my ex-work when I raised a grievance with them in the Summer - they wrote telling me to come in the very next day, which wasn't convenient as my Dad (a union rep) was going to accompany me.
I'm pleased you slept well last night :) Try not to think about work & all this weekend - the weekends are your time, not theirs x
I know I must get work out of my head...I am beginning to think even if I never get back it will be better for my health. We will just have to be even more careful on our spending than we already are and maybe I could get a part time job somewhere, or supply work then I wouldn't have to be so committed.
My Dad used to do supply work when he was between jobs (he's an FE lecturer, with specialism in core skills). Could you also think about doing private tutoring? With your training in SEN I'm sure there must be lots of parents out there whose children could use extra input (or adults even, as I said the other day about my husband!)
Yes that is something I would really enjoy, will have to look into it. :D
paranoidtree
08-12-12, 10:57
Oh Annie, i've just read some of these posts and I am appalled by your work and their lack of empathy for your situation. I sincerely hope that with the support of your doctor, husband, union and us you are able to fight back. As Leah has pointed out they are being unreasonable and i'm sure you are in a position to be able to make a complaint about them!
Anyway rant over! I hope you have a lovely weekend filled with nice baths, kitties and hugs! xxx
Oh Annie, i've just read some of these posts and I am appalled by your work and their lack of empathy for your situation. I sincerely hope that with the support of your doctor, husband, union and us you are able to fight back. As Leah has pointed out they are being unreasonable and i'm sure you are in a position to be able to make a complaint about them!
Anyway rant over! I hope you have a lovely weekend filled with nice baths, kitties and hugs! xxx
Thank you. I am just going to let my union deal with it for me now as I really can't handle any more stress. My doctors and receptionists have been so supportive. My hubby took them a big tin of Roses chocolates last night to thank them. :hugs:
---------- Post added at 13:46 ---------- Previous post was at 11:09 ----------
My Dad used to do supply work when he was between jobs (he's an FE lecturer, with specialism in core skills). Could you also think about doing private tutoring? With your training in SEN I'm sure there must be lots of parents out there whose children could use extra input (or adults even, as I said the other day about my husband!)
I have also just remembered (How could I forget :doh: ) That I have TEFL qualification, should really make use of that :)
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