View Full Version : My Mum has made me more anxious!
I was just starting to feel calmer and my Mum just called and said "Do you know your kids are worried about you..so you are going to have to sort yourself out!" Now I feel worse again...maybe everyone would just be better of without me..she has made me feel so guilty!! I was feeling a bit better now I am just frantic...I am doing this to my kids, I am a rubbish Mum
Hi Annie
go on skype and I will chat with you on there - the text box not the phone because the quality was poor
Anyway - log onto skype and i will message u
Robin
You're not a rubbish Mum, and neither is your Mum. When we are concerned for people we love something often gets "lost in translation" when we talk to them as we are so frustrated on their behalf and worried for them. I think that is what has happened here. Your Mum loves you, and your children, and doesn't know how to help you help yourself, so she said something which she might have phrased more compassionately if she hadn't been so caught up with worry for you.
Don't let it knock you back - I'm sure your Mum wasn't intentionally criticising you or your parenting, and your children seem like very down-to-earth young people with their heads screwed on properly to me, so I'm also sure that if they are worried they won't blame you for it. Do you blame them when they make you worry, and think they're bad children because of it? No, I didn't think so :)
The thoughts you have posted here are just another negative thought spiral. You need to step out of the spiral, leave the thoughts alone, and let them settle. They're only thoughts - thinking them does not make them flesh & blood real x
Annie - you are a great mum - kind, considerate.... you look after your children. I posted on here not long ago how much I liked reading about your family because it's such a nice one, for example if you were not a good mum, then your son wouldnt feel ok about embarking on a trip abroad.
Sometimes for some unknown reason people just go ridiculously overboard in their statements when trying to help. I'd feel just the same as you - I'd be well angry actually. Its only natural your children would be worried but most definitely NO THEY WOULD NOT be better of without you - NO WAY.
Yes your mum's made you feel guilty but she had no right to. I do agree that something got lost in transalation. You arent doing anything to your children other than being a good mum. you do the best you can - no child could ask for better than that. you clearly love your children & that is what matters. i am certain they know that too. that's why they care too.
Please dont let her comments get you down, maybe instead if you're able to go back to focusing on the things that were
helping you feel calmer, perhaps you can begin the path to feeling better again...... I'm right behind you & sending positive, kind & caring vibes with peace, calm & tranquility!!!
Hope you're ok & chatting with Robin Annie. I'm doing some sewing on my mum's handbag this afternoon, but will keep checking back in on you x
I have spoken to Robin and put things into perspective. I called my dad and he said my mam is now crying because I got upset at what she said but I have explained why it upset me and apologised for my reaction to my Mam. My daughter has also called and said Yes she is worrying about me but not too much because she knows I am a strong person and in her words "I know you are strong because you put up with me when I was a teenager and I was a little s**t"! That's my daughter!
LOL at what your daughter said. It sounds like you have a loving and supportive family who just care about you.
LOL at what your daughter said. It sounds like you have a loving and supportive family who just care about you.
I know and I just worry that I am causing them worry :)
Your daughter sounds like a right character Annie :)
I think you were right to speak to your Mum again, and am glad things are smoothed over now.
My daughter is a right character with a mind of her own and as stubborn as a mule. She is calling on her way home from work tonight to make sure I eat!
My daughter is a right character with a mind of her own and as stubborn as a mule.
Sounds like someone I know....... :D :roflmao:
(though you wouldn't think so, with how weak I am over this anxiety!)
Oh we will overcome it Elle-Kay, I just hope sooner rather than later. The doctor said the main side effect of mirtazapine is putting on weight so maybe that will be a good side effect for me as I have lost so much the past few months.
Sounds like something I should have too :D I have my weigh-in this coming Monday. Last time I had lost 2lbs despite trying (as I thought) hard to eat more, so I'm dreading what the scales will say this time.
Have you had some tea? I'm just cooking up a (cheat's) chicken jambalaya.
My daughter is calling on her way home from work to make me something to eat...she said she will do me a boiled egg and soldiers :D
As a mum myself, I can understand the guilt element! And as a mum I can also understand that your mum is worried about you. It's soo hard but it's because you care about your family and they care about you! U will get through this Annie X glad you've spoken to the therapist :flowers:
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