want to hide from life for a bit

[swgrl09]

Anybody else feel like that?

Holidays are difficult ... especially difficult for me this year ... also stressing about planning my wedding, money, school, etc. I have not had a good break in a long time. I work, go to class at night, and go to my internship on the days that I don't work. Next year will be busier because my internship will increase to 30 hours or more a week instead of 15 right now. How will I fit in work and class? And then time for me?

I feel like that is a lot for a regular person without anxiety, depression, lingering PTSD to deal with ... but then throw those into the mix and I just am so tired. I am in school to become a marriage/family therapist and a lot of our classes have us do a lot of introspective, self-awareness work, which triggers me. Then I go to my actual therapist, my chiropracter for my back/neck, etc. When do I get to see my fiance? Argh. I want like a month to sit at home and do nothing.

I am just tired ... Sorry for the rant ... just kind of needed to vent. My problems could be a lot worse.

[Annie0904]

You really have got a lot to deal with at the moment, I really do't know how you are doing it all...you must be wonder woman!! Every little chance you get make sure you make time to rest. sending you :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[swgrl09]

Thanks, Annie. I have a vacation week off of work and internship the week of Christmas, so I am looking forward to that ... although just found out my fiance has to work and travel that week, which is frustrating ... But I cannot wait to wake up on my own and not to the sound of my alarm clock!!

:hugs::hugs:Hugs back to you as well!

[Annie0904]

That will be a lovely chance for you to just relax and have nothing to worry about except yourself. Make sure you are very kind to yourself that week xx

[panickyme]

Awwww you are doing to much. ( I know how you feel) I'm glad you are going to get some time off. MEEEEEEEEE TOOOOOOO (try to take time for yourself during that week) I am so excited just to do nothing. I am also so excited for you with the wedding, you have to give me all the details. I forget (not hard for me) did you get your dress yet? My daughter got married last March, ( I think I already told you that) and just last week my oldest son met with his girlfriend (who I love) parents, and asked for their blessing. :ohmy: So it looks like I will doing another wedding. (oh my nerves) na just kidding I love weddings I am ready, and it helps so much, that I adore her. (she is crazy like me) Keep in touch talk soon. If you need anything I will be here. :hugs:

[Serenitie]

Anybody else feel like that?

Holidays are difficult ... especially difficult for me this year ... also stressing about planning my wedding, money, school, etc. I have not had a good break in a long time. I work, go to class at night, and go to my internship on the days that I don't work. Next year will be busier because my internship will increase to 30 hours or more a week instead of 15 right now. How will I fit in work and class? And then time for me?

I feel like that is a lot for a regular person without anxiety, depression, lingering PTSD to deal with ... but then throw those into the mix and I just am so tired. I am in school to become a marriage/family therapist and a lot of our classes have us do a lot of introspective, self-awareness work, which triggers me. Then I go to my actual therapist, my chiropracter for my back/neck, etc. When do I get to see my fiance? Argh. I want like a month to sit at home and do nothing.

I am just tired ... Sorry for the rant ... just kind of needed to vent. My problems could be a lot worse.

I can totally relate to what you are going through! You are under an incredible amount of stress :hugs:

Your post brought such vivid memories back of when I was completing my social work degree. Juggling full time work-based placements (internship) with assessments, written work, exams and working and maintaining a home.

Try to make small regular slots of time that are just for you to do something nice for yourself. I actually did a timetable for myself to stick to to fit everything in! It was a great help and I would recommend this. It enabled me to manage my workload and allocate small regular intervals of me time and quality time to spend with my partner at the time who, like yours, worked a way a lot.

I lost a lot of weight during my first year as I found that there was so little time to eat a meal. I started bringing lots of snacks with me and found that grazing throughout the day on healthy snacks, protein based salads, fruit and cereal bars gave me the energy to see me through busy days. I also cut out caffeine and slept much better as a result.

I started practising yoga each evening to wind down. This was also invaluable to aid sleep, but also replenish energy and (emotional) balance that introspective, self-awareness work and a busy day can disturb.

Please continue to make time for your own needs including therapy and seeing your chiropractor. I found that learning to manage my time effectively was as important as any of the theoretical information you learn at uni or on placement. It is a skill that gets you through your training with your sanity in tact and prepares you for what to expect upon entering your chosen career :winks:

I hope that you spend your up and coming time off catching up on rest, nurturing yourself and doing things that you enjoy. I'd suggest lots of bubble baths, candles, listen to music you enjoy, walk in the fresh air, indulge in nice food, good films and the company of your fiance when you can see each other and recharge your batteries :yesyes:

Keep offloading when you need to. This is really important. Vocational careers are emotionally demanding as well as physically tiring. You need to offload as much as anyone else, especially during this stressful period to keep your own emotional balance.

I hope that your holiday period is restful and rejuvenating.:bighug1:

[swgrl09]

Thank you so much for your post, Serenitie. It is so thoughtful and I am glad that you can relate, going through similar schooling. It is so emotionally demanding, and I sometimes feel guilty because when I try to unload some of what I have seen at my internship the people I talk to (my sister, my fiance) just say ... "Oh wow, that is so sad. Don't talk about that, you are making me sad!" So I try to talk to people from school about it instead who understand a little better.

I really would like to get yoga back into my life ... I tried it way back when but lost the time to do it. I get home and I just want to crash, I have to make myself do it again. There are some courses but they don't fit in with my schedule so I will have to keep checking for new ones.

I like your idea about managing time. I need to sit down with my planner and schedule "me" time. It is a great idea.

Thank you! I hope you are feeling a little better youself :hugs:

[AIVILOESOR]

I go for walks when i feel like this, somewhere in the countryside. Getting tied in head stuff of anykind, work, emotional, gets balanced out by me being active.
So although I feel like I want to disappear, moving changes my mood more quickly than being static. especially now its wintery and you want to huddle up against the cold.

[swgrl09]

You are probably so right, it is just SO COLD out!! Hahaha. I am a wimp with the cold!! But the cold is a good shock to my system and might help a bit ... I don't have a gym membership, can't afford one .. I can walk laps at the mall and leave my credit cards at home so I don't buy anything!

[Serenitie]

Thank you so much for your post, Serenitie. It is so thoughtful and I am glad that you can relate, going through similar schooling. It is so emotionally demanding, and I sometimes feel guilty because when I try to unload some of what I have seen at my internship the people I talk to (my sister, my fiance) just say ... "Oh wow, that is so sad. Don't talk about that, you are making me sad!" So I try to talk to people from school about it instead who understand a little better.

I really would like to get yoga back into my life ... I tried it way back when but lost the time to do it. I get home and I just want to crash, I have to make myself do it again. There are some courses but they don't fit in with my schedule so I will have to keep checking for new ones.

I like your idea about managing time. I need to sit down with my planner and schedule "me" time. It is a great idea.

Thank you! I hope you are feeling a little better youself :hugs:

It's really important that you talk and get the chance to offload about work to people who understand :yesyes:

Why not fit a little yoga in at home before bed? Start off with just 10 minutes and increase when you have time :)

I hope you start scheduling your 'me time' very soon! We all deserve it!

I'm having a tough time, as you know, but managing well in spite of it, thank you.

Take care :hugs: