Tessar
06-12-12, 14:38
There's been so much going on the last 2 weeks that i just feel so angry today, much of it normal life stuff (on top of difficult things I'm dealing with in counselling).
I needed to do something to get rid of the anger, otherwise it was going to build & then I'd end up saying or doing something stupid. I work in the middle of nowhere so I took a walk down a footpath & found some fallen tree branches. I smashed them to bits putting all my might into it.
I had an image of my abusive brother in my head like it was him I was hitting. I wouldnt be able to hurt him in reality as he died & I would never hurt anyone but I know alot of my anger relates to him so it seemed appropriate. I'm sure this is a better way to go about it than what I have done previously which is turning the anger on myself.
I had thought that breaking something would make me feel calmer but I think the tension & effort required to do it has left me feeling a bit shaky, sort of like I'm still angry but also in a bit of a daze. I'm back at work now which feels rather surreal. I dont think it's helping that I'm due tomorrow and havnt had a period for 2 months (down to stress I think). Maybe it's just plain pmt & not anger from everything else. Crap whatever it is.
I needed to do something to get rid of the anger, otherwise it was going to build & then I'd end up saying or doing something stupid. I work in the middle of nowhere so I took a walk down a footpath & found some fallen tree branches. I smashed them to bits putting all my might into it.
I had an image of my abusive brother in my head like it was him I was hitting. I wouldnt be able to hurt him in reality as he died & I would never hurt anyone but I know alot of my anger relates to him so it seemed appropriate. I'm sure this is a better way to go about it than what I have done previously which is turning the anger on myself.
I had thought that breaking something would make me feel calmer but I think the tension & effort required to do it has left me feeling a bit shaky, sort of like I'm still angry but also in a bit of a daze. I'm back at work now which feels rather surreal. I dont think it's helping that I'm due tomorrow and havnt had a period for 2 months (down to stress I think). Maybe it's just plain pmt & not anger from everything else. Crap whatever it is.