Cant do it!

[helenclaire]

I feel so stupid, 3 times this morning i have tried to get petrol, i cant even get to the end of the road without the panic taking over and having to rush back home. My needle is now so low i dont even know if i have enough to get to the garage.

I have been doing so much better recently i even drove to town yesterday so why is this happening?

The last thing i want is to be agoraphobic again but thats the way its heading if i cant get past this:weep:

Helen
x

[Elle-Kay]

You can do it Helen, I promise!

You realise that what you're afraid of is the panic feelings, and not the actual petrol station, yes? That's a good place to start - we have to know what we're afraid of before we can overcome it :)

Ask yourself: what is it that I'm afraid will happen if I panic?
I'll have unpleasant symptoms, of course, but what is it about them that make me afraid? Is it that I'm afraid I'll embarrass myself? That I'll go mad? That I'll faint?

Once you've narrowed it down to the imagined scenario that you're actually afraid of, think rationally about that scary scenario, e.g:
Fainting - fainting is caused by low blood pressure, low pulse etc. but panic causes a spike in blood pressure, and a rapid pulse. You can't faint from a panic attack :)
Being embarrassed - if anyone even noticed you (unlikely, as the majority of people are very unobservant) they would most likely be concerned that you were unwell, and offer their help if they felt able, not their judgement.
Going mad - our brains work superbly well when we're anxious or panicked. We plot, plan, think, and give our brains a really good work-out. You can't go mad from panicking :)

This should help you to calm your racing thoughts, and to calm your racing pulse & breathing too, try to make a very conscious effort to relax. Don't fight your symptoms as that will make them worse. Instead, relax towards them, because as scary as they are I guarantee that they can't hurt you, and that you will feel better about yourself if you just go and get that petrol!

If you can't utterly relax towards your feelings, then distract yourself away from focussing on them. Try the awareness continuum:
"I'm aware that [A]... I'm aware that [B]..."
e.g. "I'm aware that the wind is blowing.... I'm aware that there is a cat in that garden... I'm aware that my hands are cold... I'm aware that the car in front is red... I'm aware that the driver is smoking..." and so on.

You CAN do it Helen. The only thing stopping you is fear, but if you stop believing in fear, it won't frighten you anymore :)

[vitabelle]

That was great advice Elle-Kay. I'm also having trouble with this. I constantly have derealisation and the thought of going somewhere on my own or at all scares me to no end as what if I don't recognise where I am or forget people or places. I could do it 2 months ago but I've spiralled to this :( xx

[helenclaire]

Thankyou,

I know what i need to do but am finding it so difficult, i am so upset that it as come to this again.
I feel like i will pass out at the wheel, rationally i know i wont because i have felt like this so many times and never passed out but the feelings are so awful i just want to get out of the situation which means being at home.
Everything you say Elle-kay makes so much sense but i cant focus on the positive my head is just full of negativity telling myself something bad is going to happen.
I need to get these horrible thoughts out of my head. but its really difficult.
Helen:weep:

[Elle-Kay]

Trust me Helen, I've been there (and still go there myself sometimes) so I know how scary and hard it is. I wish that just posting here would mean I could wave a magic wand and take it away for you, but as hard as it is to hear, the only way to get rid of those negative thoughts is to confront them, and prove to your exhausted, battered mind that the things it's imagining don't come true just by imagining them x

[helenclaire]

Thankyou for your reply,

I know its down to me to do something about it.
I think i have had too much on my mind recently and feel physically and mentally shattered which is probably why i am letting this get to me, i dont seem to have the energy to fight it.

Will attempt to go again soon and hopefully get over the panic.

Helen

[Elle-Kay]

Good luck :)