How do you come to accept GAD?

[dread]

Hi all...some of you might have seen posts or been on chat but basically I've had a blip...well, more of a relapse and I'm finding tihngs hard.

I was diagnosed with GAD 4 years ago aftermy first major PA, and was on 60mg citalopram for 4 years, weaned down gradually and dropped off them 2 months ago. The flu and a job change triggered my PA's a fortnight ago, although the anxiety had been building and I ignored it. I'm now back on 10mg Citalopram, signed off work, having to stay with my mum for a bit.

I'm having SUCH a hard time accepting that I have this 'thing' when I can still remember clear as day 4 years ago when I wasn't bothered by much. I've always been an anxious person but never this bad. I just don't understand how I'm supposed to accept that I am only 24 and I have GAD and will possibly be on meds forever and have blips and that this is it. It's making me miserable trying to imagine what my life is going to be like and I'm so full of people's opinions on whether it can be 'cured' or overcome etc.... I just don't know how people do it =[ Advice? Encouragement? Amnesia...?!!

[Thumbelina]

Hi dread,
Most of the people having Any emotional illness have trouble excepting it at times. As all i want to know - why me? and how can i feel normal again when i am sad.
I am also officially with GAD for over 6 years though had it longer before.
I am 35female with 2 kids. But had anx before pregna though bad panic attacks started only after first delivery.
I am also going through small ( yes i am deliberatly saying small as i want to show to myself that i can control it), setback. Though we are saying that it is out of nowhere - but it never is. I had prolonged stress for 8m while on no medications. It finally got me at the moment i expected the least and now its 20 days since my first panic attack in 1,5 years. I started cipralex 5mg. Physically i can describe feeling now like after a massive flu which wont go away, i definately felt and still feel like this one was the worst of all of them. I lost 5 kg within few days as i was so sick i had to go on drip. Was phisically shaking day and night. Had no sleep for a week in row, could t breathe.... You name it.
Its 6 am here now where i am - i woke up today only once at midnigt and at 5 fully, which is normal time anyway, compared to 3am and 4am 3 days before today....
I eat more and more every day, and i am pretty sure in few months i would totally forget how does it feel like when you have a panic attack. I actually was so free from extreme anx all this time during 1,5 years.
As soon as it happened i saw the doctors, went to psychologyst, started meds, called friends to help and took time off work only few days, was forcing myself to eat processed food...
Its like literally grabbing myself by the neck and telling - hey just ignore this anxiety, panic attacks and whatever else comes wih it and get on with your life, you have so much to do... So much going on... Panic will not help to get things done.
I am saying it now cause i feel i had a bit more of sleep for the past few days, and feel a bot stronger, but the sheer terror and feeling of everything ending in front of your eyes that i still had for a moment even yesterday is something that does bring you down, but i goes away... Slowly
Its an illness, like any other one. How can you be angry at yourself or anybody for having pneumonia? How can yoi prevent it? You cant... So just take it as a challenge. We are able to accept it as an illness and to go through recovery as with any other illness.
So many people and their posts on this site help massively to me! They make you look at things from a different perspective.
Keep reading on here and combine it with the trusted medical help, it will help you to feel safe.
Take care

[joebloggs]

Hi. dread. Your post is full of your fear of the feelings you have. And who wouldn't be? When you are thrashing yourself with all these negative thoughts is it not surprising how you feel? Now let us look at some of your remarks, First of all you haven't got a 'thing'. You are suffering from acute anxiety which is so common. You will not be on meds for ever so get that out of your mind. At 24 you have a 100 percent chance of full recovery because you have had less time to accumulate bad memories of your illness. In nervous illness 4 years is not long when you have not been going about helping yourself in the right way. 'I am having such a hard time accepting'. Of course you are because you are not accepting but struggling to accept. Give up fighting and struggling. This uses much needed energy, which you can't spare. As Thumbalia says, this is an illness like any other, and it will take time and acceptance before you recover completely. Try not to be impatient with time! Very difficult, I know, but you can do it. If you had a broken leg would you be fretting about time.? You know it would take six weeks so you would accept that fact and get on as best you could. Yes, you will get a lot of opinions. But let me express facts. You are 24 years old and recovery is certain if you do the right thing. You say you are a 'nervous person' but that really means 'I am a sensitive person'. This will not stop you leading a normal life. You may be more sympathetic to others who suffer and more able to help when you recover, as you surely will. Keep going forward to full recovery. A pipe dream at the moment but it WILL become a reality. Best wishes. joe.