View Full Version : work related problems need advice
sparkle2012
08-12-12, 19:35
hi
been off work for 4 weeks and my manager wants me to go in for a long term sick meeting!! i feel i cant do this as im suffering from really bad anxiety attacks and the thought of going into work for a meeting makes me feel sick and brings all my symptoms on, i dont know what to do how can i tell them im not well and cannot face a meeting at the moment have the docs on monday so im hoping they will give me some further advice :((((((((((( also, i didn't tell them on my application of previous illness of depression which happened 3 yrs ago can they sack me for this!!!!!!??????
Sparkle I will pm you...I am going through the same thing at the moment with my work and it is such a pain...but I have sought advise.
sparkle2012
08-12-12, 19:50
aww thanks hun i appriciate it lots thanks xx
I'm not sure what the employment proceeders are there. But anxiety is concidered a mental illness and they cannot fire you because of this. It's not like you have a flu. Make sure to get another doctor's note requesting an extension of sick leave. If your company were to fire you it's discrimination. Huge lawsuit.
Jees,4 weeks?? Im really sorry to hear that. Ive been off for 10 weeks now and only emailed my work.They also asked for a GP report which he sent.My wife has spoken to them. I feel my career is over and i cant go back,i feel i am hopeless at my job and struggle to even leave the house at the moment. I would resign tomorrow and live off my wife's wage but that would virtually be career suicide and my PDoc has told me not to do it as im still being paid and am not thinking straight at the moment. As i said i can understand how you feel and am sorry to hear that :-(
Ghostd, 10 weeks is not long to recover from anxiety. Work doesn't hep because we feel guilty for being off and that in turn increases the anxiety. It also increases anxiety when we are asked to go in for sickness reviews. As I explained to Sparke, my anxiety got worse again when work contacted me about meetings. I have now contacted my Union and hopefully they will deal with it for me and represent me in meetings. If you read the last post that I made there is some good advise there from Elle-Kay (it is quite a long post and Elle-kay's advise is at the end.
Ghostd, 10 weeks is not long to recover from anxiety. Work doesn't hep because we feel guilty for being off and that in turn increases the anxiety. It also increases anxiety when we are asked to go in for sickness reviews. As I explained to Sparke, my anxiety got worse again when work contacted me about meetings. I have now contacted my Union and hopefully they will deal with it for me and represent me in meetings. If you read the last post that I made there is some good advise there from Elle-Kay (it is quite a long post and Elle-kay's advise is at the end.
Thanks Annie,i will read it. Ive confined myself to my "safe place" at the moment which is my flat and local area, outside that i struggle to cope. Its total avoidance behavior and dysfunctional but it keeping me calm until i get my psychology treatment. As i said i would resign tomorrow if my wife and PDoc hadn't told me not to.Work is such a horrible stressful thing and it ruins my life completely.I would just love to be a recluse.
hi
been off work for 4 weeks and my manager wants me to go in for a long term sick meeting!! i feel i cant do this as im suffering from really bad anxiety attacks and the thought of going into work for a meeting makes me feel sick and brings all my symptoms on
Wow, I could have written that myself, I'm in exactly the same boat. A 28 day review at work for sickness. I've told him (my line manager) I'm not up to it, and he's referred my to our occupational health advisors. Hope tthey don't push me into it, it's work stress that triggered my anxiety.
Is it the same for you? I'm in the Civil Service, but most employers have similar procedures I believe.
Mark
---------- Post added at 00:57 ---------- Previous post was at 00:51 ----------
...10 weeks is not long to recover from anxiety. Work doesn't hep because we feel guilty for being off and that in turn increases the anxiety. It also increases anxiety when we are asked to go in for sickness reviews. As I explained to Sparke, my anxiety got worse again when work contacted me about meetings. I have now contacted my Union and hopefully they will deal with it for me and represent me in meetings.
Well put, if I may say so, Annie, I feel exactly the same. This is the first time in 5 years I've been off with anxiety, it's triggered by work stress / not enough management support, and they want me to attend a meeting. I've told them - do you want me to break down and cry in front of you - it won't be pretty and will embarrass us both (I put it more politely). That's beasically what I'm afraid of, that I won't be able to discuss matters without blubbing, or that he'll give me info about my job that I don't want to hear and will just set me back.
Mark
Same with me Mark, I just get in such a state even thinking about work at the moment but I can't stop thinking about it because I keep getting letters/emails! I would suggest the same to you Mark..involve your union.
Same with me Mark, I just get in such a state even thinking about work at the moment but I can't stop thinking about it because I keep getting letters/emails! I would suggest the same to you Mark..involve your union.
Thanks Annie. Unfortunately I'm in a specialist union, not many members where I work and no Union rep in our building or city. Last time I asked for help (rep in London) they were rubbish. So I'm hoping our Occ Health advisers will back me up. To be fair they have been quite supportive so far and my boss is just doing things by the book I suppose. But I have warned him, if I get pushed into attending it may delay my recovery. I'm keeping everything in writing in case the worst happens (warnings, referral for dismissal).
Mark
I have been to Occupational Health who said that if work want to meet with me they have to come to my home! Work are refusing to visit me at home so a lot of good that did.
Ah I see. My work did mention "agreeing a venue" so no doubt that meant it could be work, home or neutral.
However it's the face-to-face and the discussing work I'm not happy about, but will do so if forced.
Mark
My doctor has written a letter to say that 'I am not fit to attend a meeting' and my Union rep has requested that the meeting be rescheduled to a date that suits him. he will visit me at home to get to know everything about me and then he will represent me at the sickness review meeting. I hope every one else in this thread has got things sorted?
I've been referred now for occupational health advice. I'll go to the meeting if I have to :winks:
Hoping they'll decide it should be postponed though.
Mark
I went to my Occupational Health meeting, from my experience of those they are very supportive. It is the sickness reviews with my manager that stress me out.
I went to my Occupational Health meeting, from my experience of those they are very supportive. It is the sickness reviews with my manager that stress me out.
We don't have meetings any more, it's not cost effective, I suppose. Our Occ Health provider carries out the consultation over the phone. I used to prefer the face-to-face meetings TBH.
Mark
Yesterday I emailed my work and asked them if I could be relocated from my London office to my Glasgow office. im originally from Glasgow and I believe part of my anxiety and depression was caused by having no friends and family around and the general London madness. My wife desperately wants to move home and her work are allowing her to move. We have already agreed to taking a flat next month in Glasgow and are committed to moving so if my work says no to a relocation then I'm going to resign due to ill health,my wife has agreed this is what we should do.
On the one hand I have a well paid job and I think I would be committing career suicide but on the other hand I despise my job and it makes me utterly miserable. I desperately need some counselling or psychology as I'm not sure what I'm doing in my life but for 10weeks now since I've been signed off,I've been passed from pillar to post on the NHS and the only thing that has been done has been increasing my meds which has had little effect. I spend most of the day in bed eating and avoiding the world and I've got no motivation to do anything.its like a bad nightmare.
P.S sorry for rambling,just need to vent.
Ghostd I hope your work will agree with the relocation. I know the other option may sound a little drastic but if I end up having to leave work due to ill health, my husband just said, "so what, I would rather have you well and less money".
Ghostd I hope your work will agree with the relocation. I know the other option may sound a little drastic but if I end up having to leave work due to ill health, my husband just said, "so what, I would rather have you well and less money".
Thanks Annie, that's what my wife said too although my mind is doing overtime with worry and guilt that if it comes to that she will resent me.My mind is also doing overtime about what my work thanks of me,they must think I'm bad and lazy for being signed off for so long and theyre looking for a way to get rid of me etc etc. I read on a legal website that they can't sack you unless they've tried everything to help you get back to work so I hope by asking for relocation I'm putting something out for them to work with .
I'm sure a lot of the worries I have are in my mind and not real but it feels so real. It's awful what we put ourselves through.
My mind is also doing overtime about what my work thanks of me,they must think I'm bad and lazy for being signed off for so long and theyre looking for a way to get rid of me etc etc.
I have been thinking the exact same thing! My husband got some legal advise on it and they can't sack you as such but they can dismiss you with a lump sum payment or go through the unable to work due to illness were you can get your pension early. Hopefully it won't come to that for either of us.
I have been thinking the exact same thing! My husband got some legal advise on it and they can't sack you as such but they can dismiss you with a lump sum payment or go through the unable to work due to illness were you can get your pension early. Hopefully it won't come to that for either of us.
Oh Jees,I didn't know that.i would assume they would have to get Occ health involved etc first before they dismiss you? In the 10( I think it is now) weeks ive been off ,they've only asked for a docs report,no Occ health or meetings or anything.i find it all quite strange,I've essentially been left alone apart from the odd email every 2weeks.
There is a long process to go through before it gets to that stage so don't worry about that.
---------- Post added at 16:20 ---------- Previous post was at 16:19 ----------
You are lucky they are leaving you alone..that is how it should be! Mine are asking me to go for meetings and I have been to Occupational health already.
I can sympathise with all of you going through this with work at the moment.
I am currently on stage 2 Formal Hearing, appealed, lots gone on but to cut a long story short I went to CAB who referred me to an Employment Law Solicitor. Had a brief consultation with him by telephone and we are meeting in January to discuss a range of issues possibly constructive dismissal and discrimination.
It's a long hard slog and really not good for anxiety and depression, but hang in there if you are going through something similar. It appears you do not have to attend any such meetings if you are signed off sick by your GP.
Good luck to you all, Kitti :)
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