View Full Version : Work problems
Hi all,just need some advice really about work.i have a job I love doing and am good at get on with all my workmates,a few months ago we employed a new girl who has worked there previously it was my job as the supervisor to train her.all went well and I even praised her to my managers at how well she was doing jump forward a few weeks and after complaints from other people on my team about her I had to pull about certain parts of the job she wasn't doing.i did this in a helpful way and she went ballistic saying she had been busy and how dare I make her look stupid taken a back I apologized saying sorry I never meant it to come across that way she carried on going mad saying she was just defending herself(against what I don't know) I later found out she was bitching about metro other people at work saying she doesn't know who I thought I was talking too.she is a very social person going out on work does ect and as a lot of mutual friends at work as have I.i have since found out her attitude was the same when she worked here previously.my problem is she is bone idle all my team are complaining about her and I just don't feel comfortable pulling her again she has made great friends with my boss ,but because of pressure from work colleagues I have had to go to another manager to complain about her saying I wasn't prepared to confront her again ,the manager I spoke to agreed with me and said she understands why I don't want to tell this girl cause she remembers she was quite vindictive last time to anyone who criticized her.well now I am dreading going back in work because she will take this personally and it isn't other colleagues and me are just sick of doing her work,truth is she is capable of the work she just can't be arsed and has made friends with who she thinks are the right people management ect what should I do I am so stressed with this I feel like leaving a job I love I have even got an interview for Monday somewhere else but don't want to leave but can't face this girl again
Aww that's a tough position to be in. I am not real good at confronting people either, makes me nervous. Don't leave your job, you love it. (Don't let her scare you away, from a place you are comfortable.) Your colleagues are in on this with you, you are not alone maybe you could you have some kind of meeting with the boss that she is friends with (with all the colleagues with you) not the mean one. at least you would have them backing you up, and maybe then the boss would handle it. It is unfair that anyone of you should have to pick up her slack. If you can't do that, try again to bring it to her attention kindly, and if she gets upset, try not to take it to heart. (she sounds like a beep) don't let her bring you down, you are above her, do not let her think , or treat you like she is above you. Good luck :)
Thanks for your reply she has been approached by a manager yesterday just seen some nasty remarks of her on fb more or less saying watch your backs without using names obviously. So now I m dreading work tomorrow ,let me say I don't dislike this person just find her really unapproachable,with good reason it seems just hope I'm being paranoid about those comments .
I'm sorry Chrissi, it's horrible having to work with someone so horrible. Though it does sound like your colleagues and managers are well aware what she's like and won't think badly of you because of what she's been saying.
Don't leave your job. Bide your time. Her friends will work her out before long.
Thanks Edie I know it seems a bit extreme but I have decided to leave,with my anx and stress i have decided I can't face this situation .i can get another job easily enough but the thought of going in is making me feel sick,I know eventually she will leave but lives to short to feel this miserable she will get her come uppance when she turns on someone not as sensitive as me,that type of bully always does thanks for your support though hope I can return the favor sometime
Awwwww Chrissi, I feel so bad that this has upset you so much. Did you leave yet? I wish so bad you would not let her upset you so. Hon she can not hurt you in any way, shape, or form. You like your job, and your friends. What if the next job has someone really, really mean, and you don't like the people. We can not always run, sometimes we just have to face it. Maybe just try. ( I can't tell you what to do, I just feel so bad for you, you are so happy there) it's just that one person. If you disliked your job, and the people then I could see. I hope everything works out for you no matter what you decide. Good luck, let me know. :)
I do know how you feel Chrissi. It is hard when these kinds of people make friends with those higher up in order to make themselves untouchable. You need to have the support of your immediate boss if you are to deal with her effectively otherwise she will just undermine your authority. Are you really sure your boss is definitely on her side? Could you try to get this boss on your side? Certainly the other manager you spoke to has backed you up, as have most of your other colleagues. It seems a shame to leave when you do have the support of most people there. It would be sickening to let this bully win.
Tyke :)
Thanks for all your replies ,I went to see my dr and he has prescribed some ad sertraline and put me on the sick for four weeks whilst I decide weather to go back to work or just get another job.i know more or less I won't be going back though, I have been so unhappy there since all this started and don't think going back will be a good idea.it is a small place and even if I or the other person moves to another dept I will still have to deal with her everyday.i won't pretend I m happy to leave but feel I have no choice ,thanks to everyone for their feedback but I can't face this bully
If you do decide to stay, does your work have policies in place for dealing with bullying and harressment in the workplace, she sounds like right bully. People have got in trouble in the past for putting things on facebook, she should be careful.
She evidently know's she is in the wrong but is using agression as a way of getting away with it. Don't let this one person ruining for you. If your team are all complaining then you have a group to back you up. Could you get one of the team to mentor her? Perhaps someone with a strong personality, someone she can't bully? Or if she did who could file a complaint.
If she is not doing her job it shouldn't matter who she is friends with, if you have proof of her slacking a half decent manager won't ignore it (they don't want to be the one who ignored an issue that is costing the company money, especially if she's got form from her previous employment).
Acas have a leaflet on bullying and haressment at work: http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=797
As they say don't let the b*****d's grind you down.
I just don't feel able to make an official complaint,as I said before it is a small place and would still have to face this person every day.the manager she is friendly with is a really good manager who would go straight to her friend or not I just feel it will just make the situation worse for me ,I feel so embarrassed that one person could make me feel so intimidated just because I was trying to do my job which is making sure she did hers to the required standard.but every time I tried she takes it as a personal critism like I go in work and look for fault which I don't
Hi all it's been a while since I posted and I have decided to go back to work mainly because I need the money.i have been off sick for six weeks and will be going back next week.i am absolutely dreading it I can feel the anx and depression rising every day closer I get to returning.i have spent six weeks trying to get better as anybody got any advise on how to stop myself getting overwhelmed by work again I dread being in the same position I got myself in before Christmas.any advise welcome chrissi x
Chrissie, if u love this job , why should you leave & therefore these good friends of yours that you have in common with this girl, will understand if you have a more assertive and managerial head on. Which I think is what you need to do in this instance. You take the reins back from her, I know it's not easy but you have tried the friendly route and now it's u feeling like dread and wanting to quit a job you are good and happy doing. DON'T, you also stuck up for your colleagues and their issues with her SO , go bak to work and confront her with another senior me member of staff. If the ones complaining about her start getting face on with you and it turns into a game them taking her side. I'd pull them in as well and say calmly, I have taken your issues with X into consideration & I can't help noticing that the atmosphere isnt good and there's stuff still being said so in terms of honesty and maturity, can you tell me how things are and if there are still issues from girl X, I will be talking to all members of staff about this, I will not work in a hostile and bitchy environment for my sake and that of other staff members, that just simply want to do their job properly and go home.
Seriously sod it, sounds like you've worked hard and been promoted and you enjoy your job, why should you leave??? And now your worried about other work colleagues , forget that.
Hope u sort it xxx
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