Raiiboii
10-12-12, 12:12
Well this is going to be a long post, but I want to show people that feel trapped there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Basically it all started for me 3 years ago. I was 16 and naive, I took MDMA with my friends. On a come-down I started to feel my heart race and felt really scared, this is where my long journey of hell began.
I woke up the next day, my heart racing and thought I was having a heart attack. So went straight to A&E convinced I was dying. I sat up there shaking and crying as I felt so stupid.
Much to my surprise the bloods and ECG came back normal. I knew this couldn't be right, I had chest pain and my heart was racing. I asked them to do the tests again. Obviously they refused and told me it was Anxiety. I instantly thought "I'm not mental! These symptoms are real"
Anyway about 10 panic attacks later and 10 A&E trips later I was obsessed with my new found problem. I had to find out what was wrong with my heart, and it felt like no one would help. My partner mocked me and didn't understand, hell, I didn't understand myself. I stopped eating and over the space of 4 weeks I'd lost over 1st.
After about 5-6 weeks I developed things other than panic, new problems, these though, I thought were caused by a brain tumor. Feeling spaced out, and personification. I also kept getting migraines and buzzing in my ears..
Was I going made? Was it this Anxiety thing? No, it was a brain tumor.
After another 10-20 trips to A&E and asking to CTs scans, they finally gave in to get rid of me. The CT came back clear. So I went to Dr. Google, it had to be a brain problem.
Dr Google told me an un-ruptured brain anurism (SP?) was the cause, as it didn't show on a CT, just an MRI. So I continue to pester my doctor until he gives in and makes me an appointment to see a Neurologist.
He also prescribed me these tablets for mental health called Venalafaxin.
At this point I wanted to feel normal so I took them, thinking I'll do as he said even though he's wrong and I have something wrong with my brain.
For 3 months the panic continued, but the symptoms didn't appear so much. I was starting to not think about the MRI. Then the day of the appointment comes, so I go to see the neurologist and explain my problem. He does some standard tests then sends me for my MRI.
So another 2 months pass while I wait for results. Still taking the Venalafaxine. A hospital letter comes, I wonder what's inside it. It was my MRI results. By this point in time I had forgotten about having an MRI or any of my symptoms as they had dissapeared. Guess what my results said
"Everything seems within normal range, no further check-ups needed"
I suddenly felt extremely stupid, I realized at that point it was this horrible beast called Anxiety, and I had started to deal with it with the help of tablets.
A few months later I had started CBT which I had asked for through my GP. Anxiety still appeared in my day to day life, just not so often. The Tinnitus (buzzing in my eyes) didn't freak me out. The rainbows around streetlights no longer appeared, or I just didn't look for them anymore, and my heart rate was definitely lower. The Migraines also rarely occurred.
Posting now at the end of 2012, I rarely get symptoms and if I do they don't bother me. I will always have Tinnitus and Acid Reflux, what does it matter, they're not killing me. I still get my migraines but I see them as hyped up headaches.
I hope this helps some of you that are finding it hard to accept (Especially though with health anxiety! I know how disgusting it is) it's anxiety you're experiencing, and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Therapy is the best cure, and anti-depressant/sedatives can help you while you go through this but make sure you don't get too hooked on them and obviously this requires a GPs advise.
Basically it all started for me 3 years ago. I was 16 and naive, I took MDMA with my friends. On a come-down I started to feel my heart race and felt really scared, this is where my long journey of hell began.
I woke up the next day, my heart racing and thought I was having a heart attack. So went straight to A&E convinced I was dying. I sat up there shaking and crying as I felt so stupid.
Much to my surprise the bloods and ECG came back normal. I knew this couldn't be right, I had chest pain and my heart was racing. I asked them to do the tests again. Obviously they refused and told me it was Anxiety. I instantly thought "I'm not mental! These symptoms are real"
Anyway about 10 panic attacks later and 10 A&E trips later I was obsessed with my new found problem. I had to find out what was wrong with my heart, and it felt like no one would help. My partner mocked me and didn't understand, hell, I didn't understand myself. I stopped eating and over the space of 4 weeks I'd lost over 1st.
After about 5-6 weeks I developed things other than panic, new problems, these though, I thought were caused by a brain tumor. Feeling spaced out, and personification. I also kept getting migraines and buzzing in my ears..
Was I going made? Was it this Anxiety thing? No, it was a brain tumor.
After another 10-20 trips to A&E and asking to CTs scans, they finally gave in to get rid of me. The CT came back clear. So I went to Dr. Google, it had to be a brain problem.
Dr Google told me an un-ruptured brain anurism (SP?) was the cause, as it didn't show on a CT, just an MRI. So I continue to pester my doctor until he gives in and makes me an appointment to see a Neurologist.
He also prescribed me these tablets for mental health called Venalafaxin.
At this point I wanted to feel normal so I took them, thinking I'll do as he said even though he's wrong and I have something wrong with my brain.
For 3 months the panic continued, but the symptoms didn't appear so much. I was starting to not think about the MRI. Then the day of the appointment comes, so I go to see the neurologist and explain my problem. He does some standard tests then sends me for my MRI.
So another 2 months pass while I wait for results. Still taking the Venalafaxine. A hospital letter comes, I wonder what's inside it. It was my MRI results. By this point in time I had forgotten about having an MRI or any of my symptoms as they had dissapeared. Guess what my results said
"Everything seems within normal range, no further check-ups needed"
I suddenly felt extremely stupid, I realized at that point it was this horrible beast called Anxiety, and I had started to deal with it with the help of tablets.
A few months later I had started CBT which I had asked for through my GP. Anxiety still appeared in my day to day life, just not so often. The Tinnitus (buzzing in my eyes) didn't freak me out. The rainbows around streetlights no longer appeared, or I just didn't look for them anymore, and my heart rate was definitely lower. The Migraines also rarely occurred.
Posting now at the end of 2012, I rarely get symptoms and if I do they don't bother me. I will always have Tinnitus and Acid Reflux, what does it matter, they're not killing me. I still get my migraines but I see them as hyped up headaches.
I hope this helps some of you that are finding it hard to accept (Especially though with health anxiety! I know how disgusting it is) it's anxiety you're experiencing, and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Therapy is the best cure, and anti-depressant/sedatives can help you while you go through this but make sure you don't get too hooked on them and obviously this requires a GPs advise.