Irritable, annoyed and angry

[NoPoet]

Hi all!

These days depression and anxiety don't impact my life that much most of the time, but over the last month or two I find myself being snappy, frustrated, stressed and generally bad-tempered with people. I hate being like this.

I'm wondering if this is simply due to lack of sunlight (since vitamin C deficiency can put you in an irritable mood), or cabin fever caused by spending most of the time indoors. My mood was much brighter during the summer and autumn when I used to go out regularly in the daytime with friends and my brother.

I used to dread the return of depression, since snappy, grumbly moods used to mean a depressive blip was on the way, but I seem to be coping pretty well in general and am no longer afraid that I am going to become depressive. On the other hand I feel more aggressive, ready to actively defend myself before people have even insulted me. It's a powerful feeling but this is not the kind of person I want to be.

I realise this is new ground, I just wondered if anyone has been here before?

[Mark13]

Whilst I suffer from GAD not depression (although I have had it in the past) I do agree that sunlight is a mood lifter.

I don't think I suffer from SAD, I just like being outdoors, especially taking photographs, and obviously sunny days make for better pics so I welcome them. But I have to be out in the sunlight, it does me no good if I'm indoors.

I've got fitter since I stopped smoking 6 years ago, and go out walking, alone or with my wife, every chance I get. I find the outdoors very therapeutic.

Your comment about being defensive, what I would call hyper-sensitive to criticism, in myself, even if it's just imagined, rules my life at times.

I'm forever saying "what do you mean by that", "are you having a dig" etc. I just can't stop myself at times, it's very distressing and frustrating.

So I can empathise with your feelings to quite a degree.

Mark

[NoPoet]

I can tell you one thing mate: if you start building your self-esteem, eventually criticism of yourself or your work can start to drive you to improve things. More importantly, you will be able to reject unfair or inaccurate criticism, because you'll know when you are doing well and your sense of security can be very difficult to damage once you've built it up.

As for the tetchiness, I wonder if this is what depression looks like when you take the venom out of it. If so, it shows clear improvement for us both, and it could be a valuable tool in the fight against depression.

It's not nice to be so narky all the time but it is much, much better than we were this time last year :)