claire_2910
11-12-12, 13:16
You may have seen a post about a week or two ago about how i was feeling extremely fed up with friends not being there for me. Never asking how I am, so ignorant to Mental Illness and telling me "i think too much".
I have suffered with a choking fear for about 2 months now. I have also suffered depression, panic attacks, breathing problems (to name a few).
Well... it was my friends birthday on Saturday. I was really anxious about going for a meal with my eating fear and I really wanted to put it off and make up an excuse. However.... I couldn't. It's not me and didn't feel right. So I thought, if I text her and let her know how i'm feeling she will understand. I text her to tell her i would probably eat before I come but don't want to let her down so will get something small at the meal to be polite and been feeling rubbish so will drive and not drink. Her reply was "thats fine". So I'm like hmm... ok, no ask of how I have been feeling or nothing.
But no... I thought I will still go regardless. It is hard for people to understand, I know. So tried not to take it personally.
We were due to meet at 8.30pm for the meal (which was booked). She asked me at 6.10pm to come round for 7pm. Which was impossible as I had to get showered, clear my car (ready to pick people up) and pick my girlfriend up from work. So I thought if I got to her house for 8pm that gives us 30 minutes to get to the restaurant, which is like 15 minutes away....
So I arrived ready to give lifts and my friend said "about blooody time!" I was like, "sorry I had things to do and assured her we would be there on time". Which - we were, early in fact.
As we sat down my "friend" was sat on the end as her other friends had got lifts even earlier. With it being her birthday she wanted to sit in the middle. So my other friend asked her if she would like to swap seats, she was in a strop and said "no". I then offered for her to sit between me and another friend and her reply was bluntly "I wouldn't have to move if someone had picked me up on time!".. I was extremely shocked. As she can't expect me to come round within 50 minutes at such short notice and we were early to the meal. I replied and said, "I'm sorry i can't be at your beck and call I had things to do!".... she then was huffing so I told her to stop being petty. She then replied, "i'm petty.... i'm not the one who has panic attacks because I can't eat properly".
I had confided in her and not spoke to my other friends about it so was disgusted and hurt. I left the restaurant and was in tears. She followed me and we argued. She said I had been off with her all week, which was lies. She then said "but why are you anxious!" and "thanks for ruining my birthday" amongst many other hurtful things. I told her, sometimes things aren't always about her and tried to make her realise how I had been feeling. She hugged me and said flippently, "come on lets go back in". So I did...
As I sat at the table a group of friends around me were asking me if I was ok, to my reply "not really". But I said dow and took my coat off. My friend then said "Claire I want you to leave". I was fuming, I didn't understand and when I asked why all she could say was because people were asking me if I was ok and not her. I stood up and told her that was because she was in the wrong. I told her her behaviour was disgusting. I left, no-one followed and no-one text me.
My "friend" apologised via text but I am too angry to even accept an apology. I went home and told my girlfriend who was extremely angry too. The next day we were meeting up to swap xmas secret santa presents. I didn't want to ruin plans for my other friends so agreeed to go and not make a fuss. She acted like nothing had happened, no explanation no nothing. Which annoyed me more. As I left she text and said we should meet up and talk. I said I didn't want to talk as I have said everything that needs to be said.
My other friend told me, that she had been snapping all day as she wasn't having a good day. She lost her nana 2 years ago and they were very close. I understand it must be hard but it is no excuse to treat me that way. I have my problems and would never do that. She also told my other friend she didn't understand 'my problems' incomparison to hers as "her nana had died".
Im so so mad. Upset, hurt and annoyed. I don't know if I can ever forgive someone. Ever. It makes it harder if I don't as we have the same circle of friends. But..... I'm utterly disgusted at her ignorance to Mental Illness. It has made me worse, my anxiety has crept back up and i have woke up the past few mornings like I have drank a litre of vodka. How can a friend be like this???????? :weep::mad:
I have suffered with a choking fear for about 2 months now. I have also suffered depression, panic attacks, breathing problems (to name a few).
Well... it was my friends birthday on Saturday. I was really anxious about going for a meal with my eating fear and I really wanted to put it off and make up an excuse. However.... I couldn't. It's not me and didn't feel right. So I thought, if I text her and let her know how i'm feeling she will understand. I text her to tell her i would probably eat before I come but don't want to let her down so will get something small at the meal to be polite and been feeling rubbish so will drive and not drink. Her reply was "thats fine". So I'm like hmm... ok, no ask of how I have been feeling or nothing.
But no... I thought I will still go regardless. It is hard for people to understand, I know. So tried not to take it personally.
We were due to meet at 8.30pm for the meal (which was booked). She asked me at 6.10pm to come round for 7pm. Which was impossible as I had to get showered, clear my car (ready to pick people up) and pick my girlfriend up from work. So I thought if I got to her house for 8pm that gives us 30 minutes to get to the restaurant, which is like 15 minutes away....
So I arrived ready to give lifts and my friend said "about blooody time!" I was like, "sorry I had things to do and assured her we would be there on time". Which - we were, early in fact.
As we sat down my "friend" was sat on the end as her other friends had got lifts even earlier. With it being her birthday she wanted to sit in the middle. So my other friend asked her if she would like to swap seats, she was in a strop and said "no". I then offered for her to sit between me and another friend and her reply was bluntly "I wouldn't have to move if someone had picked me up on time!".. I was extremely shocked. As she can't expect me to come round within 50 minutes at such short notice and we were early to the meal. I replied and said, "I'm sorry i can't be at your beck and call I had things to do!".... she then was huffing so I told her to stop being petty. She then replied, "i'm petty.... i'm not the one who has panic attacks because I can't eat properly".
I had confided in her and not spoke to my other friends about it so was disgusted and hurt. I left the restaurant and was in tears. She followed me and we argued. She said I had been off with her all week, which was lies. She then said "but why are you anxious!" and "thanks for ruining my birthday" amongst many other hurtful things. I told her, sometimes things aren't always about her and tried to make her realise how I had been feeling. She hugged me and said flippently, "come on lets go back in". So I did...
As I sat at the table a group of friends around me were asking me if I was ok, to my reply "not really". But I said dow and took my coat off. My friend then said "Claire I want you to leave". I was fuming, I didn't understand and when I asked why all she could say was because people were asking me if I was ok and not her. I stood up and told her that was because she was in the wrong. I told her her behaviour was disgusting. I left, no-one followed and no-one text me.
My "friend" apologised via text but I am too angry to even accept an apology. I went home and told my girlfriend who was extremely angry too. The next day we were meeting up to swap xmas secret santa presents. I didn't want to ruin plans for my other friends so agreeed to go and not make a fuss. She acted like nothing had happened, no explanation no nothing. Which annoyed me more. As I left she text and said we should meet up and talk. I said I didn't want to talk as I have said everything that needs to be said.
My other friend told me, that she had been snapping all day as she wasn't having a good day. She lost her nana 2 years ago and they were very close. I understand it must be hard but it is no excuse to treat me that way. I have my problems and would never do that. She also told my other friend she didn't understand 'my problems' incomparison to hers as "her nana had died".
Im so so mad. Upset, hurt and annoyed. I don't know if I can ever forgive someone. Ever. It makes it harder if I don't as we have the same circle of friends. But..... I'm utterly disgusted at her ignorance to Mental Illness. It has made me worse, my anxiety has crept back up and i have woke up the past few mornings like I have drank a litre of vodka. How can a friend be like this???????? :weep::mad: