View Full Version : tipping point
I'm not sure where else to turn, I feel ive reached tipping point and I'm really in need of sonsome advice, my mind feels constantly dark and burned out, I feel in such a dark place, all i want to do is sleep and find it difficult to bring myself to do anything, as long as I'm concious I feel incredibly depressed, there are no external factors to bring this on, I have a perfect life in terms of a social life, I've Got a job and a lot of hobbies, but I don't get any enjoyment out of any of it. I've tried to see psychiatrists but I'm always referred back to my therapist who is doing CBT with me, which isn't working, I've been to mental health crisis teams and I just get referred back to the therapist, which doesn't help, I just feel hopeless, my parents are so supportive even though my dad has incredibly bad clinical depression brought on by a stressful job and my Mam had terminal cancer. I can't seem to get any peace of mind to make this better as no professionals seem to listen, I don't know if this is anxiety, depression or psychosis, I've conviced myself that this is schitzophrenia, no one will prescribe meds either, I just feel so in the dark, like life isn't worth living, I just need some advice, thanks.
It sounds very much like depression and you do have a lot going on with your parents both ill. I read a very good book recently called 'Depressive illness, the curse of the strong by Tim Cantopher. I found it very helpful. You can and will get out of this dark place. Sending you :hugs::hugs::hugs:
I'm finding it difficult to keep things together today, I really need some help now and I don't know who I could turn to, is there any way you can get an emergency appointment to see a psychiatrist?
Not without a GP referral. I suggest you call your doctors and ask for an emergency appointment with your doctor.
---------- Post added at 12:47 ---------- Previous post was at 12:46 ----------
Are you on any medication?
I agree with all the above.
I had exactly the symptoms you describe in 1993 a year after my dad died relatively young and I was under a lot of stress at work.
It was acute depression (a "mental breakdown" in old-fashioned terms).
I also thought I had schizophrenia.
However, in your post you show such insight into your condition, which, to me, strongly suggests it's not schizophrenia.
From my own experiences only, your symptoms strongly suggest acute depression and you really need your GP to get you treatment other than just CBT, which I believe is only valuable when you're in a fit state to put it into practice.
If you are desperate your Doc should refer you to the nearest hospital psychiatrist - I was referred on the day when I was at my worst in 1993. The psychiatrist prescribed me Thioridazine (an antipsychotic I now find) - it emptied my head but stopped the "dangerous thoughts".
Hope you get the help you need.
Mark
---------- Post added at 13:53 ---------- Previous post was at 13:48 ----------
By the way, when I was on medication, still thinking I had schizophrenia I got a book called "Breaking The Bonds: Understanding Depression and Finding Freedom" by Dorothy Rowe.
I cried when I read it (I'm not embarrassed to admit) because it described all my thought processes and symptoms.
That's when I was convinced it was depression and nothing else, and more importantly, that I wasn't going "crazy".
Mark
Thanks for all the advice, I'm feeling marginly better now, i've booked a doctor's appointment for friday who'll refer me to somone, but after 6 months of being refused meds, my hopes aren't high, but it's still something small to cling on to, I have work for the next 5 days starting today, so i'm dreading that, and I seem to be messing up a new founded relationship just a few days in ( mabye i'm being paranoid ) when you say emptied your mind, how do you mean?
what scares me more, is that i'm only 17 now ( early onset schizophrenia tends to be less manageable ) what am I going to be like in 10-15 years time? I could never have anticipated being like this any time last year, although in hindsight, I have realised my mental state has been deteriorating for the last 18 months, my theory is that my GP put me on weak AD's when I was 11 to stop a bad bout of anxiety and every time i've been off them i've felt awful, could it possibly be that I developed a dependance to them so early on in life?
Thanks for all the advice, I'm feeling marginly better now, i've booked a doctor's appointment for friday who'll refer me to somone, but after 6 months of being refused meds, my hopes aren't high, but it's still something small to cling on to, I have work for the next 5 days starting today, so i'm dreading that, and I seem to be messing up a new founded relationship just a few days in ( mabye i'm being paranoid ) when you say emptied your mind, how do you mean?
I mean all my worries, fears, intrusive thoughts, panic etc just disappeared. My only thought was this is horrible :scared15:
I just lay in bed not thinking at all. My mind-chatter just vanished. Interesting but scary. Sort of like completely emptying your mind during meditation, but enforced by the drug.
Only took the one tablet, it freaked me out more than the strange symptoms of the depression (depersonalisation, feelings of doom, closed eye hallucinations). The Doc then put me on a tricyclic AD, doxepin, which got me back to work within 3 months.
Mark
I really think that as Mark said this is anxiety/depression and NOT schizophrenia. It may not be that you have developed a dependence on AD's, more likely that you are just prone to periods of depression/anxiety.
---------- Post added at 14:17 ---------- Previous post was at 14:15 ----------
I mean all my worries, fears, intrusive thoughts, panic etc just disappeared. My only thought was this is horrible :scared15:
I just lay in bed not thinking at all. My mind-chatter just vanished. Interesting but scary. Sort of like completely emptying your mind during meditation, but enforced by the drug.
Only took the one tablet, it freaked me out more than the strange symptoms of the depression (depersonalisation, feelings of doom, closed eye hallucinations). The Doc then put me on a tricyclic AD, doxepin, which got me back to work within 3 months.
Mark
Mark..good to hear that someone else is on tricylic AD's, not many people are these days but I am.
all the doctors are really edgy about putting me on AD's considering my age, it's scary to think what if they stop working by the time i'm 20-21, if I do go on them...
I work in a school and there is a young girl there who suffers from anxiety and she was advised to take vitamin B supplements. Maybe you could discuss this with your GP. They do seem to be helping her and I have heard people on here suggest them.
Hi, it is better that you ARE getting help now ... so don't worry about 10-15 years down the line being worse. My therapist tells me she would much rather have me in her office now than when I am 50 years old because my problems will be much more engrained in my mind than now (I am 24, been seeing her for about a year, saw a different one for a year before her).
Tips for emptying your mind: Look into Mindfulness Meditation. One way to do it is to focus on something, like your breathing and just keep your mind directed on that. If thoughts come in unrelated, just accept that they are there and try to let them go and return your focus to your breath (or whatever you were focusing on, could be anything). The key is to stay in the "here and now." It is hard at first, but can be good.
---------- Post added at 09:50 ---------- Previous post was at 09:49 ----------
Also it is no wonder you have depression with all you are going through. My mom died two years ago of cancer and it really shook me up badly still today.
I've been doing mindfulness with my therapist for the last few months and it doesn't seem to be working, I guess i'll stick at it but It just seems a bit hard to focus on something so insignificant when this problem has totally engulfed me...
Not having such a good day and needing a bit of reassurance, is there any way I can make sure I don't have schitzophrenia? I just seem to constantly forget little things and need to be reminded, as long as I'm alone there's this constant chatter in my head, like Im narrating everything I'm thinking/doing, its not audible and I have complete control over what it says but I can't stop it , as long as I'm engaged in something it doesnt seem to be there. As far or delusions go I don't think anyone's talking about me or events have any special significance, I'm just not fussed about anything apart from my thoughts, it wouldn't bother me even if everyone Did speak about me. Also everything seems really unfamiliar, its like seeing things through glass, if I look in the mirror I see who I used to be before the problem as opposed to who i am now, I feel like a mind trapped in a body.
Really starting to worry, just need some reassurance, thanks
This sounds like anxiety and depression and not schizophrenia. Please try to accept that they are symptoms of ANXIETY. My daughters brother in law has schizophrenia so I know a little about it and I am sure yours is anxiety especially as you have reasons to be anxious at the moment. :hugs:
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