View Full Version : Christmas Survival Strategys
I guess this is a time of year when many of us are feeling the strain. It's my first xmas with anxiety problems and I've already decided that I'll not drink any alcohol and I'll make sure to try and find some quiet, private time for myself if possible. Does anyone have any other tips to stop anxiety going crazy?
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Praise yourself for everything you manage to do :D xx
fozzy is crying
12-12-12, 19:04
Wish I had some tips. Just as any day of the year I am trapped at home alone.
Hmm... this topic is pretty painful for me, as I find myself experincing emotional pain along with joy at Christmas. I think I'm worried at the back of my mind that our happiness is going to be ruined by someone dying, or some terrible event happening, and this Christmas will be the last one. It's horrible to think ahead to next Christmas being without someone.
The easy answer is we are catastrophising. We feel worse at Christmas because everyone else seems so happy and they expect us to be happy too.
The best solution is to respect yourself. If you need alone time, take it. Hyper-vigilance is not going to make parties and busy environments easy to deal with, which is why people like us can struggle with them. If you respect yourself, know your limitations and work within them without banging against them and complaining about them, life suddenly starts to get a lot easier! :)
christmas brings up very bad memories for me so this time of year is especially hard. had a mental breakdown last night ... so not sure what tips i can offer other than have somebody who you trust that you can talk to, and if you don't have somebody, feel free to talk to me! (or many others on this forum who have been so supportive for me)
Bloody hell, you're doing better than some of us if you can post advice here the day after a breakdown :hugs:
sometimes doing good things for others, like volunteering if you are able to go out, can be helpful as well.
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lol not doing that great, just getting through, but thanks. i don't always take my own advice very well.
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funny this has come up, as i work in a senior citizen apartment building and next week i have arranged for an agency to give a talk on holiday stress and beating the blues ... i'll take notes and post any good info :)
Well for me,xmas day is the one to get through.That's the day we are at my daughter's,so I suppose the obvious and easiest answer is alcohol.People are expected to drink at xmas? Or at least its acceptable :unsure:
Hi Lissa,
Can understand how you feel as I'm dreading Christmas as well, lot of people visiting = increased anxiety and panic attacks for me so it's not an enjoyable time of year. If you have somewhere you can go to escape and try and relax for a while that sometimes help (perhaps some music/films on your phone or walkman?) For some reason I look forward to getting past the shortest day of the year as it kind of signals that we're 'on the other side of winter' and it will soon be over. Xmas can be a hard time for people with anxiety so don't stress yourself if your symptoms flare up a bit, just do what you need to do to try and stay as relaxed as possible.
Hi Lissa101.
I can relate to you feeling the strain at this time of year. I tend not to drink any alcohol at all these days but rather than being a conscious decision, i dont think i like it that much. i end up with such ridiculously rosy cheeks it makes me feel self-conscious. i think that some quiet, private time for myself sounds a great i mean, why not? a bit of relaxation - its a great idea.
i also feel the same about looking forward to getting past the shortest day of the year; it's gonna get better after that. yipee.
The words alcohol & christmas dont sit well for me; i had brothers that always got drunk; i dont like christmas much as it reminds me of bad times but i want to make my own new memories of good times now. your idea of peace & quiet is good; my partner & I have tried to always ensure we have time to ourselves and that works well for us. i decided this year to cut out speaking with or visiting people who are not beneficial to me, people who stress me or are bad for me generally. i'm already thinking that's been a good decision. its liberating.
i have to say it's quite sad to read other people's posts about this time of year being painful. i wish i didnt relate to that but i do. at least i am discovering that i'm not alone & there are some nice kind folk on this site who are full of support.
the irony for me is that i organised our work xmas meal last year & because everyone said i did such a good job.....I'm doing it this year too. if they only knew how i felt!!!! still, i do try to remind myself that some people do genuinely enjoy having a good time & if i can contribute to that, i'll feel good about it. i've got almost all my xmas presents sorted now but am struggling with getting cards written. it does seem like a burden every year. i would say stuff it, but there are nieces/nephews & friends to think about. i suppose as well some people dont have much to shout about at the moment with the country's economic state being what it is they want to have something to enjoy. ooh, getting a bit heavy here!!
I like PsychoPoet's post below - how very true about taking alone time. also Hyper-vigilance ..... i so relate to that. but do remind myself what i learned in cbt. i will go to our xmas work meal & enjoy it as best i can - after all i work with some really great people & spending time with them is good. sometimes i surprise myself, once i get there. last years was actually good fun. so fingers crossed.
I know christmas isn't always a happy time of year for people and I completely understand. For me personally I am going to enjoy this one. Last year was the worst one ever and this year has been the year from hell. Months on, I have come out the other side alive, unscathed and alot stronger. My partners nan is terminally ill and this is likely to be her last christmas so we are all determined to make it the best and celebrate like we've never celebrated before. I hope you can all find a little peace.... and maybe enjoy it just a little. xx
Thanks for all your replys. It's sad to think there are so many people struggling with anxiety at this time of year but at least we know we are not alone. I have a foster dog from the RSPCA at the moment so I have an 'escape' if I really need one; 'I think the dog needs a wee, better go for a walk..'.
Meche - so nice to hear from someone who has came through these issues. I hope you have a wonderful xmas with your partner and her nan.
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Thanks for all your replys. It's sad to think there are so many people struggling with anxiety at this time of year but at least we know we are not alone. I have a foster dog from the RSPCA at the moment so I have an 'escape' if I really need one; 'I think the dog needs a wee, better go for a walk..'.
Meche - so nice to hear from someone who has came through these issues. I hope you have a wonderful xmas with your partner and her nan.
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i'm glad you've got the escape you mention & how very loving & kind of you to foster a dog. must be great company even in the short term. we've just adopted a 2-year old cat from cats protection. she's lovely.
Didn't want to start a new topic so i'm going to reply to this one. I am finding christmas so difficult this year. As a lot of you have mentioned, the time of year is associated with many bad memories for me. What I am finding most upsetting is that last year I felt so good, Christmas was fine and I only had 1 slight panic on boxing day. I hate the winter so much, and this year its unbearable, I feel at complete despair and I dont know what to do! Survival strategies needed!
HI Bookitty, I've really felt rubbish for the last few days. Family have started arriving, I have a house full of people and dogs and my home is not my own anymore. It's soo tough and I just can't wait for it to be over. I had my 3rd driving lesson today and didn't think I'd be able to get through it, but I did. I don't have any useful tips apart from just remember it doesn't last forever x
My girlfriend's rescue cat it on its last legs at the moment, so all christmas plans are off.
We'd been planning to go to her parents place but, if I start popping the valium, that option won't be open to us since the GF doesn't drive. The row yesterday didn't help either. Looks like a miserable christmas is on the cards. I shall be taking a few good books, my ipod with relaxation tracks on it and a willingness to take off by myself and have an imaginary conversation with my therepist.
Hi Bookitty, sorry you also have bad memories associated with this time of year, i relate to that. It can be up & down year on year I find. There is hope that perhaps the rest of this year wont be too bad... not long & the evenings will get lighter & we'll have more sunshine (hopefully) so hang in there & do your best. I'm the same about winter too. For me in the end, Survival is about trying to keep my daily routine going & just ploughing on through. Its always harder than summer but routine is my key. I have to just try & keep going. Getting up is always difficult but once up I try to get on. Also try to get out for a stroll every day, even just for say 15-20 mins
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Pseudonym: Sorry about your gf's rescue cat, that's a shame. Lets hope your xmas isnt too miserable christmas is on the cards. I still have imaginary conversations with my therepist years down the line. It helps.
God I'm glad I'm not the only one to have imaginary conversations! :)
Xmas has been so awful it's actually becoming funny. Today I had to go to the aquarium and had a minor panic attack over an octopus. I'm not scared of them I was just really thinking deeply about it's tentacles and how it manages to move all the suckers at once. Then that went into 'what does an octopus think? why am I a person and not an octopus? Why am I me and not someone else?' Silly thoughts left over from when I had bad DP/DR.
Afterwards my mum surprised me with a gift of a new hairdo. I dyed my hair red and hate it so I've been wanting to go back to blonde for ages but can't afford it. She arranged for me to have my hair stripped. FOUR hours in a busy, noisy hairdresser with people talking to me non-stop.
Get home and the roof is leaking. Water all down one of the walls.
My mum's dog came with her to stay for xmas and doesn't get on with my dog. They are being a nightmare and when my dog gets stressed he wees and poos on the floor. So I've been finding lovely presents all evening (he gets lots of walks ~ 4hrs per day, its just stress).
I'm actually traumatized after today. I don't know how much more of this I can take! What's worst is that people are being so nice to me and I'm acting like an ungrateful, grumpy, selfish b*tch. I just sooo want a nice quiet room with no family, no sea creatures and no dogs :)
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