Christmas....

[MelinaJane]

Hi all, i'm new to the forum and have suffered from severe anxiety since my husband fell ill last year and i was made redundant from my job. I struggle to leave the house and to allow others into our home.

Just wanted to see if anyone else is dreading the christmas season because of their anxiety? I'm petrified about all the visiting and family events that are expected at this time of year. I've managed to convince a lot of my family that I want to spend christmas at home this year and that I may not be able to visit them. A lot of them understand but think that I am automatically fine to have them all come over instead! I feel so awful and see myself as completely awkward and strange for not being comfortable with visitors! Hoping that some fellow sufferers will understand :)

[Annie0904]

I understand completely and if you read my thread, I posted earlier about Christmas, I have 14 coming on Christmas day :scared15: I may end up hiding in my bedroom.

[ElizabethJane]

Gosh Annie that is a lot. I hope you are having some help? EJ

[Annie0904]

My 2 sons said they will cook the dinner :)

[valleybear]

MelinaJane,
I understand completely and I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I have been like that for a month or so now due to the worry of a relative's health and there was no way I could have people in or go out to visit. I am not saying that this is the right way, but I was so bad that I had to say that I was better on my own and people generally understood that. I am a bit better now and can talk to people on the phone now and e-mails and texts are helpful. This is not advice as such as you will have to decide for yourself but just wanted you to know that I know how you are feeling and to say that , believe it or not, it will pass in time. XX

[MelinaJane]

I understand completely and if you read my thread, I posted earlier about Christmas, I have 14 coming on Christmas day :scared15: I may end up hiding in my bedroom.

Oh lord!! Glad you have your sons cooking the dinner and that I'm not the only one who seriously considers hiding from people!

---------- Post added at 11:37 ---------- Previous post was at 11:31 ----------


MelinaJane,
I understand completely and I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I have been like that for a month or so now due to the worry of a relative's health and there was no way I could have people in or go out to visit. I am not saying that this is the right way, but I was so bad that I had to say that I was better on my own and people generally understood that. I am a bit better now and can talk to people on the phone now and e-mails and texts are helpful. This is not advice as such as you will have to decide for yourself but just wanted you to know that I know how you are feeling and to say that , believe it or not, it will pass in time. XX

So glad to hear that someone else feels the same - although not at all glad that we have to go through this! I guess i'm not very good at being honest with people about my anxiety as i'm probably in denial about it myself. I think i'm becoming notorious for saying yes to visits and things and then pulling out at the last minute. Thanks so much for replying - you've given me hope! xx

[Sparkle1984]

I understand what you mean. Sorry to hear you are going through this. Sometimes if I don't feel like being with anyone, I hide up in my bedroom! What support have you had for your anxiety?

[Tessar]

HI MelinaJane, i'm really sorry to hear everything that's been happening in your life of late, that must be so tough. Being made redundant is very difficult, i can relate to that as it's happened to me three times now. Twice in the last 3 years.
It can be very hard to be motivated & get out & about. I know the last time I was made redundant i had to make sure I got up at my normal time otherwise i was worried that if i got a job, i'd not be able to get up.
I really do relate strongly to you dreading the christmas season. if you search on the site here for "christmas" you'll see lots & lots of posts recently. I'm quite staggered at how many peole have fears & anxieties for various reasons all about the festive season. Its a shame that something that's meant to be enjoyable can be so dreaded. But i suppose if we have things going on already that make us anxious, the expetencies of others at a time like this - just highlights everything.
Actually, you know what? Last year my partner & I were so sick of always pleasing others, we had christmas day on our own at home. you know what? We really enjoyed it. peace & quite. it was pretty cool to be honest. so if you would prefer to spend the time at home.... why not??
It has taken me years to realise i can make choices about my life - including christmas. My family might want to make demands of me or have expectations of me at this time, but you know what? It's my life & I am now deciding upon what's best for me. Already this year i'm doing exactly what i feel like doing. i have cut out anything that is actually not healthy for me. i am not seeing people who stress me. This way i can have a more enjoyable time. I wont be thinking how

Annie0904 .... i cant believe you have 14 coming on Christmas day - arrggghhhhh. i wouldnt cope, i prefer it quiet. the most i've ever cooked for is 5 i tink & then i forgot the stuffing balls, they were still in the oven the next day. oh i just saw that your sons are cooking doh. still, 14's alot! i'm off to my partners brother's family meal. i think there'll be about 7/8 of us. i play the silly auntie; the one who pings table deco's across the table & generally acts the fool. it makes me more relaxed & my partners niece/nephews love it. i dont think i'll ever grow up.

[MelinaJane]

I understand what you mean. Sorry to hear you are going through this. Sometimes if I don't feel like being with anyone, I hide up in my bedroom! What support have you had for your anxiety?

Hi Sparkle - i've seen a CPN in the past and currently see a counsellor with input from various doctors. I've been on Fluoxetine for years and Mirtazapine as well for the past 12 months. Slowly coming off the mirt. now as it's causing me low blood pressure, dizziness and general feeling of yuk! Counselling is helpful for me and I think that's where I've seen the most improvement in my anxiety. So nice to hear from others that understand xx

---------- Post added at 19:09 ---------- Previous post was at 19:05 ----------


HI MelinaJane, i'm really sorry to hear everything that's been happening in your life of late, that must be so tough. Being made redundant is very difficult, i can relate to that as it's happened to me three times now. Twice in the last 3 years.
It can be very hard to be motivated & get out & about. I know the last time I was made redundant i had to make sure I got up at my normal time otherwise i was worried that if i got a job, i'd not be able to get up.
I really do relate strongly to you dreading the christmas season. if you search on the site here for "christmas" you'll see lots & lots of posts recently. I'm quite staggered at how many peole have fears & anxieties for various reasons all about the festive season. Its a shame that something that's meant to be enjoyable can be so dreaded. But i suppose if we have things going on already that make us anxious, the expetencies of others at a time like this - just highlights everything.
Actually, you know what? Last year my partner & I were so sick of always pleasing others, we had christmas day on our own at home. you know what? We really enjoyed it. peace & quite. it was pretty cool to be honest. so if you would prefer to spend the time at home.... why not??
It has taken me years to realise i can make choices about my life - including christmas. My family might want to make demands of me or have expectations of me at this time, but you know what? It's my life & I am now deciding upon what's best for me. Already this year i'm doing exactly what i feel like doing. i have cut out anything that is actually not healthy for me. i am not seeing people who stress me. This way i can have a more enjoyable time. I wont be thinking how

Funny you should mention staying at home with partner for christmas because that's exactly what we've decided to do this year!! I'm looking forward to a day when I can focus on pleasing myself and not others. Glad that you've found just focusing on your own health and wellbeing has helped - i'm definitely going to try to cut out the people that cause me stress xx

[robinmbers]

yeah, i think so, I think you want a someone company and you feel better. thank you