Let my self down

[lourah1989]

So I was on a roll with my no drinking went 7 days not a life time but it was a start then yesterday I had a bad day and went straight to the pub drank way way way to much now my anxiety has me feeling like I'm about to drop down dead and making me feel lime my heart will stop I'm so upset at my self really I am I was doing so well let my self down per usual no I'm in bed called in sick to work because I can't bare the though of a day at work with severe anxiety Ergggggg so angry at my self I hate alcohol it's ruined my life Yuk xx

[Annie0904]

You have had a good week and one day in that week you let yourself down...think of the positive days where you did really well. okay so you didn't get it right yesterday...so what? The main thing is that you are really trying, one bad day doesn't mean you have taken a step back, you will get there.

[Tessar]

Hi lourah, sorry you had such a bad day especially as you are upset at the consequences. we all have our coping methods & unfortunately they arent always very healthy. mine would be to stuff my face silly with everything thats really bad for me i know, but i still find myself doing it when i'm under stress. i appreciate that eating isnt maybe as destructive as the effects of alcohol but i can relate to feeling unable to stop doing something.
if we break it down into facts, you did go 7 days without drinking. that's an achievement, really it is. it demonstrates that you do have willpower & it must have taken lots of it even in that short time. OK, so it might be that now you have had a drink but you could re-apply the techniques that worked recently for you and have another few days of being dry. at least you had a break from it.
i dont know if you've had any help at all to deal with your problem? i'd imagine it would be very difficult to try and do it on your own. i suppose quantifying our problems can be difficult. regardless of how much you are drinking or maybe even how often, it might be that the help of an organisation such as AA woudl be beneficial? there would be so much support. i have a brother who has been dry for 5/6 years now & went to AA. he still goes for top ups to make sure he looks after himself.
in many respects, rather than drinking being the problem, it could be for you that there are things going on in the background in your life that are pushing you to drink. perhaps you need help to identify those things & start to deal with them? have you seen a counsellor or had anything like CBT to help with troubles? I know both can be really helpful too.
What i do believe is that to help you through this difficult time, a bit of support would go a long way to getting you back on the road to recovery. Please dont hate yourself, you worthy of more than that, really you are. What you need now is to be kind to yourself & I know from my own experience that's not easy but please take care.

[lourah1989]

Thank you guys I have been a drinker for very many years at frat t was for fun then I started to crave it then I got anxiety from the drink and now I'm stuck in a circle inobi need to change and I drink to solve problem but the dy after there still there and I feel ten times worse thNk you for all ur support it ha helped xx